“How can I begin anything new with all of yesterday in me?”

― Leonard Cohen

Therapists make a big deal about endings. When the time comes for a course of therapy to end, it’s important to spend some time talking about ending itself. We human beings don’t do endings very well. We avoid them in one way or another. And we are left with the sad, silent residue of an unended ending.

Now, when the time comes to say goodbye to a therapist, the sleeping beast of unfinished endings is awakened.

We need to respect these feelings as they come, and to allow ourselves the bittersweet taste of an ending.

Talking with friends over the weekend, I was reminded of something I was taught as a child: the Jewish lore of the luz bone. This indestructible bone, it is said, is the source of the body’s resurrection when the time comes for the dead to rise (sounds like an episode of “The Walking Dead”).

If you want to feed your luz bone (as you should - who doesn’t want to have a strong resurrection?), take heed - the luz is only nourished from the post-Sabbath meal that takes place Saturday night. I wasn’t taught why that is so, but I had this thought:

The Saturday night meal is a way of saying goodbye to the Sabbath. It is an acknowledgement that we experienced something really special, and it is now coming to a close. Sure, we can rush away from a spiritual day and quickly get back to our business, but there’s something to be said for saying goodbye. We can acknowledge that we’re sad to be ending, and afford ourselves time to transition well.

And when we give ourselves this opportunity, we make our spirits stronger. We give our spirits life.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com

 

Sign up for the Spiritual Sofa newsletter to receive each blog post before it's posted here!