Our Gemara on Amud Beis describes Aharon’s character and temperament in comparison to Moshe. Moshe was a lawgiver and valued strict justice and truth. However, Aharon, whose role was not that of a judge, was a lover of peace and a pursuer of peace, and he would apply peace between one person and the other.
Ben Yehoyada here notes that the Hebrew word used here, “pursuer of peace,” is more ambiguous sounding than the English translation. In Hebrew, a “chaser” (“rodef”) has a connotation of an attacker, who is chasing after a person to do them harm. The phrase in the Gemara would have more accurately been written as “Rodef achar shalom,” one who seeks out peace. But the literal text is “Rodef shalom,” which almost sounds like chasing after peace to fight it off.
Ben Yehoyada answers that it can also mean chasing away peace, as sometimes Aharon may have had to be clever and drive a rift between certain parties. For example, if one person was trusting the reports of a gossip who was sowing hate and dissent, Aharon would attempt to devalue the esteem and friendship between the instigating gossiper and the object of the quarrel. This way, the hatred would be open to repair, as there was no longer a continuous flow of negative influence.
Ben Yehoyada also offers a creative answer given by his son, which utilizes what psychology calls “paradoxical intervention.” Aharon would first side with the angry and bitter emotions. He would say something along the lines of, “Yes, well if Ploni really did all those terrible things, I would hate him too.” This way, Aharon actually “chased away” peace by initially intensifying the emotions and siding with the person’s sense of outrage. However, once Aharon established the person’s trust, he had the opportunity to gently confront the incorrect assumptions and distorted beliefs. He might ask something like, “So what really happened?” Upon hearing a possible misunderstanding or more wholesome perspective, Aharon might be able to carefully say, “Yeah, if he did that, he really was disgusting and deserves to be hated. I just was wondering—maybe he meant it this or that way?”
We see from this lovely interpretation the importance of not rushing to refute another person when they are angry and hurt. Instead, we should fully validate their feelings with a passion and outrage equal to theirs. Once the person feels fully validated, he may be open to other perspectives. This reminds me of one of my favorite sayings from Carl Jung: “The degree that you will influence others is the degree that they sense you are open to their influence.”
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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