Looking for a laugh? Check out the Letters to the Editor section of your local Jewish newspaper. These sections seem to be a place for anyone and everyone to share their grievances. We all have things that bother us; we would hardly be human if we didn’t. But not all us of are inclined to share our comments so publicly (and often anonymously).

A letter caught my eye a few weeks ago. The topic was the perceived immodest dress of community women. The writer, a male, seemed particularly keen on proving his point (I’m paraphrasing): “If you don’t believe what I’m saying”, he wrote, “At the next simcha you’re at, look and see for yourself”.

What benefit do we receive from focusing on the wrongs of others, real or imagined? I submit that we receive no benefit at all. Every moment spent putting others under the microscope takes our focus away from the only person we can hope to change. That person, of course, is ourselves.

There is only one true Judge, and it is up to Him to discern and determine if we have properly discharged our duties in this world. Anyone else who might judge is just guessing.

Thank you, anonymous letter-writer, for unwittingly reminding us to focus on ourselves.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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