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Showing Results 1 - 10 (43 total)
Consent for Touch- Even With a Spouse
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
August 12th, 2019
You know that feeling where you finish a conversation, and then a little later, mentally review it and wish you could go back and change your answer? I had one of those., recently. I was speaking at an event where the audience was invited to submit anonymous questions. One of the questions that was written in was one I’d heard before: “I would like to observe the niddah laws the way I was taught them- not touching at all during the ni …
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Please DON'T Fake It Til You Make It
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
July 9th, 2019
Several years ago, I had been invited to an event that also featured a talk for kallah teachers, giving by a woman who trains them. At the end, she entertained some questions from the audience. One young Rebbetzin raised her hand: “What should I tell a girl, who after 7-8 months of marriage is feeling no physical pleasure with her husband at all? She even finds the whole thing unpleasant..” A few other women looked up and nodded, thei …
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More Attempts to Reduce Abuse this Summer
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
June 20th, 2019
Another Short but Critical Pre-camp Parental Safety Talk

By: Elisheva Liss, LMFT As we label the socks and pack up the duffels, we scan the emails about the “pre-camp safety talks” and try to arm our kids with a specific type of personal awareness. Our communities have, thankfully, been making progress in the area of educating children towards body boundaries, good vs inappropriate touch, reporting to safe adults, and ge …
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"Do You Ever Just Cuddle?" A Powerful Tip for Marital Inimacy Improvement
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
June 14th, 2019
“Do You Ever Just Cuddle?”   Yael’s arms are folded across her chest, and her legs tightly crossed as she describes her frustration: “I guess I’m just turned off from any kind of touch at this point- I don't trust it. Most days, it’s just business as usual, except on the nights when he wants sex. That’s when he’ll start trying to be all warm and cuddly, but it’s so obvious that he’s …
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How Do You Take Your Torah?
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
June 6th, 2019
  “I’m not sure if you’re interested or ready to hear this, but there is something I’d like to suggest, with your permission,” is something my clients hear often sessions. Advice is tricky. No matter how theoretically useful the recommendation I have might be, it is only of value if the listener is ready and interested in receiving it. If not, it is not only effectively worthless, but potentially harmful to the …
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When Talmud Torah Becomes Avoda Zara
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
May 30th, 2019
There are certain memorable moments from sessions past that stay with me in vivid detail. It was a couple’s intake session years ago, and the husband (who I quickly learned was abusive) turned to his wife, and calmly explained his perspective: “Even the Gemara backs me up on this: You have to do what I say because you are my property. I bought and own you- like a slave or an animal. You don’t have a will of your own.” With …
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"My High School Principal Nearly Destroyed Me"
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
May 22nd, 2019
“My Principal Wouldn’t Let the Other Girls Talk to Me”  A courageous letter from a girl who was deliberately ostracized, to the principal who nearly ruined her   This post is being published on behalf of a specific client, at her request. This emotionally powerful, raw and honest note was written by a thoughtful, intelligent woman to her former high school principal. She wanted to share her feelings with this educator …
10 comments
Find Your Horizon of Healthy Thinking: A Powerful Narrative Therapy Technique
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
May 13th, 2019
Find Your Horizon of Healthy Thinking: A Transformative Three-Step Therapy Method for Addressing Inner Negativity Based on the book with this title   Do you ever struggle with bad moods or low feelings? To some extent, negative emotions are a just part of being human. Almost everyone feels down sometimes- I know I do. Sometimes it can be mild or brief. Other times, when we wake up “on the wrong side of the bed” or encounter diffi …
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Is Good Therapy Only for the Rich?
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
May 9th, 2019
An acquaintance recently asked me to recommend a suitable marriage counselor for her. I gave her the names of some trusted colleagues but warned her that they work in private practice, so it was going to cost. I also offered to look at the list of those who accept her insurance, to let her know if any names looked familiar. She opted to call the private names first. This friend and her husband are hard-working professionals, but they have signifi …
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Spousal Hygiene- An Awkward Problem
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
April 28th, 2019
Spousal Hygiene… An Awkward Problem Shani prefaces her disclosure with discomfort: “This is not an easy thing to discuss. But it’s an issue for me. It has to do with cleanliness. I grew up in a home where we were expected to shower daily, brush our teeth morning and night, and generally clear up after ourselves. Besides that, we were taught to be aware of our natural body odors and use deodorant and mouthwash at least daily and …
5 comments