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Showing Results 1 - 40 (251 total)
Just in Time
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,
November 30th, 2022

Mordy, a 40-something father of three, has been meeting with me for about a year. We focus on issues of intimacy, productivity, and accountability. His wife, Leah, works downtown, in an
executive position. Mordy’s graphic design job allows him to work part-time from home. He is present for their children, and manages assorted household responsibilities.
Mordy struggles, though, to follow through on tasks. The work-projects he unde …
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When Compassion Heals
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
November 29th, 2022

Dear Readers
Welcome to the November edition of Mind Body &amp; Soul, themed “Is there more than one way to heal?” Interestingly, most of the articles submitted focus less on the differences between treatment modalities and more on the common threads of effective, healing treatment. Also, several articles challenge the notion that emotional healing must eradicate any and all vestiges of illness. In particular, Douglas Balin d …
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Resilience for Healthy Living
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
November 29th, 2022

Resilience can be thought of as G-ds natural medication for a healthier and thriving life. We can learn a great deal from resilient people and each one of us can take advantage of this wonderful and holistic tool to stay physically and emotionally healthy. Some have it innately; most of us must learn the secrets. The best part is, we can all learn to become resilient. We can train ourselves to improve our lives and obtain the skills and knowledge …
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Approaching Healing with Realistic Expectations
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
November 29th, 2022

Please don't be disappointed if this essay approaches the topic of healing with a measure of skepticism. From my professional point of view, there may not exist the concept of “complete emotional healing”. When discussing trauma with my MSW students at the Touro University Graduate School of Social Work, I begin the semester by quoting Dr. Sue Johnson (creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy) who states that our role as therapists is t …
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Putting the Jew in Jewelry
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
November 29th, 2022

On a recent daf yomi (Kesuvos 63) we heard about the great sacrifices that Rochel made to support her husband, the famous Rabbi Akiva, in his study of Torah. As the well-known story goes, Rabbi Akiva was unlettered and unlearned, but Rochel saw great character and potential in him. She married him even though her wealthy father disowned her, and she endured 24 years of poverty while her husband studied Torah abroad.
When she finally sees he …
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Resistant to Change: Can a Treatment- Resistant Client Be Helped?
Author: Chaya Rubin, Ph.D.
November 29th, 2022

There used to be a popular joke about psychologists that went as follows:  Q: How many
psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: That depends on if the light bulb
wants to change.  
The mutative process in therapy is no laughing matter, though, and mental health
professionals differ in their understanding of these mechanisms. The most popular
therapeutic methods, namely behavioral therapies, hum …
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How and why community safety matters
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
August 31st, 2022

Dear Readers   Welcome to the August edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed Safe families; safe communities. In this issue we consider the various opportunities that present themselves, to create safety within ourselves, our families and our communities.     In particular, Menachem Hojda advises the larger community how to aim for security, especially when some of its members are at risk. Chana Mark guides individuals toward …
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Dealing With Anger, The Advanced Course
Author: Chana Mark, LCSW
August 31st, 2022

Does feeling angry at someone always have to end in angry words, sore feelings and helpless frustration?  Maybe not. In Pirkei Avos 5:11 we learn, “A person who seldom gets angry and is quick to be mollified is a tzaddik.” Tosfos Yom Tov and Rabbeinu Yona both point out that the Mishna is telling us that it is not humanly expectable to never get angry. Rabbeinu Yona notes that there are times when Kavod Shamayim requires it. Anot …
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Safety or Security?
Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW
August 31st, 2022

Like so many others, I watched the videos of the police response in Uvalde, Texas with shock and disappointment. The scene brought me back to the afternoon just months earlier when a shooter attacked Oxford High School just 30 miles north of my home. As President of my local public-school board, and a mental health professional on the county’s crisis response team, I found myself at the intersection of school governance and community respon …
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Years and Tears Later: The Price of Deception in Shidduchim
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
August 31st, 2022

(Simcha Feuerman maintains a private practice specializing in high conflict and couples . His practice is in Brooklyn, Queens and Boca Raton.) The following ideas are based on his daily blog, Psychology of the Daf.   The Gemara in Kesuvos dappim 12-13 deal extensively with the halakhic consequences and nuances  of misrepresentation of facts in Shidduchim. How much exaggeration is normal when describing a Shidduch? How much should the pe …
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Safe Relationships Facilitate Family Well-Being
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
August 31st, 2022

Hollywood has led us to believe that the fundamentals of a good marriage are: love, passion, infatuation, romance, and chemistry. In my professional opinion, those are the tier two fundamentals. The vital tier one fundamentals are: respect, empathy, friendship, forgiveness, trust, and safety, which is the focus of this essay. www.Shalomtaskforce.org   Back in the early days of domestic violence awareness and prevention, safety in relationshi …
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What are the dangers of vaping nicotine and marijuana to the Jewish community? Here is the unvarnished truth.
Author: Dr. Eric Bornstein
July 22nd, 2022

In the last 18 months, I have given multiple seminars on behalf of MASK (Mothers & Fathers Aligned Saving Kids) to many NY Yeshivas, Jewish drug rehab and counseling groups, and parents on the subjects of vaping, nicotine, marijuana, alcohol, and opioid addiction. In the last four years, I have given similar seminars to over 125,000 medical professionals throughout the United States. During this time, I have listened to numerous horror storie …
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Tags: Vaping, Nicotine
Finding the Balance
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,
June 2nd, 2022

Dear Readers   Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed “Finding the Balance”.  For some of us, balance is as easy as riding a bike; for others, balance can be elusive. This is particularly the case for those of us whose lives encompass extremes. We may be up, we may be down. We may love some politicians and commentators; we may hate others.   Some of us might even experience our religious lives in ext …
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Achieving Balance: The Dialectic as Found in Jewish Sources
Author: by Yitzchok Kahn LMSW, CASAC-T
June 2nd, 2022

When it comes to the topic of balance, therapists often talk about the concept of the dialectic. Popularized by Marsha Linehan, originator of Dialectic Behavioral Therapy or DBT, the dialectic is the ability to hold opposite ideas at one time. In DBT therapy, a person can be doing their best and can have the ability to do better. A person can be angry at someone and still love them. Life can be confusing and people can experience ambivalence. We …
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A Fragile Process
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,
June 2nd, 2022

The fast-approaching holiday of Shavuos marks, among other things, the moment we experienced the Aseres Hadibros (Ten Commandments). The Aseres Hadibros set in motion a process that led to Moshe Rabeinu receiving two sets of Luchos (tablets), each of which was ultimately  housed in the Aron (ark). If we pay close attention to the Aron, the Luchos, and the Aseres Hadibros, we can learn a valuable lesson about balance and, in particular, the t …
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A Balanced Look at Aging
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
June 2nd, 2022

Gene D Cohen, a psychologist and author of The Mature Mind; The Positive Power of the Aging Brain, says it best, “Psychology has severely underestimated the positive potential of the second half of life.” Until recently, the fields of psychology, medicine, social work and business have been dominated by Erikson’s theory that older adults are challenged not by growth but by the challenge of integrity versus despair.  That &l …
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The Dangers of Over Intellectualization
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
June 2nd, 2022

The recent Daf Yomi (Gemara Yevamos 14a) tells us that prior to the decision to universally follow the School of Hillel, there was a period of time where the School of Shammai followed their rulings independently. The Gemara wonders how the School of Shammai rationalized this when the general principle is that the halacha (law) is decided in accordance with the numerical majority. Since the School of Hillel was the majority, even the School of Sh …
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Why Hasn’t My Therapist Called?
Author: By Moshe Norman
June 2nd, 2022

If you are a former therapy client or patient you may likely have built a deep, intimate relationship with your therapist.  Clients tell us their innermost challenges, dreams and aspirations.  Then, they move on.  Have you ever wondered why your therapist hasn't called to see how you have been? Often, therapists would love to know more about the developmental trajectory of former clients. We are, of course, human. We care about our …
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Does 90-10 Sound Balanced to You? Male Resistance in Couple’s Therapy
Author: By Dr. Alan M. Singer
June 2nd, 2022

Ninety percent of the therapists in the United States are women. The reason men shy away from becoming therapists is not the central issue of this essay. The dearth of male therapists however, plays a significant role in male resistance to couples therapy, and that is the topic of this essay.   Traditional couple’s therapy is biased towards women, as they tend to be the caretakers of relationships. Conversation, thoughts, feelings, and …
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It Is Not Just About The Books
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
March 8th, 2022

Dear readers,   Welcome to the February edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed Relationships in Crisis. This issue examines crises - situations that threaten the status quo - through the lenses of multiple relationships, ranging from marriage, to caregiving, to sober living. In addition, it pays special attention to a crisis that recently erupted into the consciousness of the Jewish community – that of child sexual abuse.     …
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Protecting Our Children from Abuse
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
March 8th, 2022

With all the recent press about the latest abuse scandal,  parents have abuse on their mind. They worry- How would I know that my child is a victim? They feel powerless- How can I make sure my child is not abused?   Because most abuse is done behind closed doors, detection is a challenge. It is typical that a child does not tell, particularly about sexual abuse, on his own. He may be afraid [‘I’ll kill your father if you tel …
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In the Trenches with Covid-Destabilized Marriages
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
March 8th, 2022

The research on the impact of Covid-19 on marital well-being is just now coming to the fore. The goal of this essay is to provide the reader with some initial findings as it can help to explain comments made by couple’s therapy clients of this author.   A remarkable thing about the pandemic is that therapists do not usually experience the same concerns and traumas at the same time as their clients do. “But during the pandemic, ev …
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Family Caregiving, Conflict or Harmony
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
March 8th, 2022

When we hear the phrase crisis in relationships, the first thing that comes to mind is marital strife and problems between parents and teen-aged children.  There is, however, another crisis that is facing numerous families; when an older adult parent is experiencing a health or mental health situation that requires family caregiving.  One person usually becomes the caregiver. The ensuing crisis can literally tear a family apart! The Fam …
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Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL
March 8th, 2022

A recent Gemara from the Daf Yomi (Moded Kattan 7b) discusses in what situations a Cohen would inspect a metzora on Chol Hamoed. The deciding factor is will it result in an improvement of his situation instead of a worsening. When a metzora is declared definitely afflicted with Tzoraas by the Cohen, he must leave the Jewish camp and be in isolation, however he is still permitted to engage in marital relations. Once he is declared by the Cohen tha …
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Unfinished Business
March 8th, 2022

“It’s so interesting. There are so many aspects of my wife that remind me of my mother. What’s so weird is that I promised myself I would never marry someone like her, and then I did. “I find it immensely frustrating that my wife doesn’t seem to be interested in me. My parents had many children, and my mother was constantly overwhelmed. She was also raised by Holocaust survivors and did not seem to have the emotional …
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Prevention is so much more
Author: Dr. Shani Zoldan-Verschleiser, AuD., LCSW
March 8th, 2022

The sexual abuse of children is very different than adult sexual abuse and needs to be handled in very different ways. With Child Sexual Abuse (CSA), physical force or violence is rarely used. The perpetrators more often try to manipulate a child’s trust and hide the abuse. The perpetrator, most of the time, is known and trusted to the child. The abuse often occurs over many weeks or even years and is typically repeated, becoming more invas …
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Tags: abuse, prevention
Staying The Course of Parenting
Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
November 28th, 2021

Dear Readers Welcome to the November issue of Mind Body & Soul, titled “staying the course”. The term “staying the course” may not be familiar to everyone. Staying the course, in its most literal sense, refers to those on a sea journey, facing forces – be they powerful storms, loss of power, or even pirates – that jeopardize their reaching an intended destination. A skilled traveler calmly adjusts in a mann …
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Change Is Essential To Mental Health
Author: Dr. Alan M. Singer
November 28th, 2021

"Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change." (Jim Rohn) I am not trying to be a contrarian, but when I saw that the theme for this Mind-Body-Soul is Staying the Course, I thought to myself that one foundation of our field of mental health is to NOT stay the course. The founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Dr. Sue Johnson explains it this way: clients come into our offices with one story, and we help them leave with …
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A Nagging Problem in Marriage
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R DHL
November 28th, 2021

The Gemara Beutza 35b describes the halakhic status of water dripping into a house from a leaky roof, and if it is permitted to put a pot underneath it to collect the drippings. You can imagine this man’s wife begging him to get the roof fixed before Yom Tov (the Holidays), and him procrastinating. While we are on the subject of leaky roofs and nagging, let us take a look at what Mishlei (Proverbs) has to say about this:  משלי כ״ …
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Staying The Course - The Big Picture
Author: Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, CPC
November 28th, 2021

One word encapsulates the theme of staying the course. That word is LIFE.  If we want to choose life, we choose to stay the course no matter what happens. Sometimes, the course is filled with pain and grief while at others, there are experiences that elicit intense joy and we savor each moment.  I might be a young child whose world changed when a parent died, or a special needs sibling was born, or my parents divorced, or I experienced …
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Staying The Course of Therapy
Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD
November 27th, 2021

Patients frequently question their mental health professionals as to what action they should take in any given circumstance.  Most want advice about marriage, children, jobs and coworkers, while others have concerns about other relationships.  One of the most complicated of these, which can cause the most angst, and possible detriment, is the therapeutic relationship.  ______________________________________ Miri is an 18-year-old g …
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An Open Letter to Caregivers for the Opening of 5782
Author: Adina Segal, LCSW
September 3rd, 2021

The month of Elul is the only time it is brought down in Halacha to visit the graves of departed family members.  While there are a variety of reasons for this, it is a way to connect us to the full spectrum of the lifespan and to connect us to those who came before us. Instead of being a morbid practice, this minhag is meant to assist us in focusing on reevaluating our actions and priorities in our lives. In the vein of both teshuva and con …
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The First Step Toward Change
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
September 1st, 2021

Dear Readers, Welcome to the August edition of Mind, Body & Soul, themed “Taking the first step”.  I’d like you to consider the many and varied ways that people take their first steps. A baby, transitioning from crawling and cruising to walking, is literally taking his first step. Until now he did not even have the capacity to walk. Children and adults, who can already walk, sometimes feel as though they are stuck in a …
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First and Most Important: The Foundation Stone of Marriage
Author: Dr. Alan Singer
September 1st, 2021

The foundation stone of a building, also known as the cornerstone or setting stone, is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, and will thus determine the position of the entire structure. This metaphor can be used in searching for the foundation stone of marriage.   In my professional opinion, the foundation stone of marriage is TRUST. …
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Why do We Hate The People Loved?
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 1st, 2021

Why do We Hate The People Loved? Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R   The Recent daf Yomi (Succah 4b), quotes a verse (Shemos 25:22) that becomes the inspiration from one of my favorite sayings in the Gemara. וְנוֹעַדְתִּ֣י לְךָ֮ שָׁם֒ וְדִבַּרְתִּ֨י אִתְּךָ֜ מֵעַ֣ל הַכַּפֹּ֗רֶת מִבֵּין֙ שְׁנֵ֣י הַכְּרֻבִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־אֲר֣וֹן הָע …
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Emotional Well Being for Older Adults
Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA
September 1st, 2021

The Covid 19 pandemic has placed a spotlight on a long-neglected issue; the emotional health of older adults in America. Older adults have become a significant part of our society. Each day, 10,000 individuals celebrate their 65th birthday in the United States, and there are more than 40 million people over the age of 65, according to the Census Bureau. Peluso, Watts and Parsons, in their book, Changing Aging, Changing Family Therapy, predict tha …
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Its Not On Me
Author: Tzipora Shub, LCSW
September 1st, 2021

My trusty 2008 Honda Accord was in the shop (it had been acting a bit less trusty than usual), and my very generous friend who was going out of the country on vacation offered me her brand new Toyota Corolla to use while she was away. It’s sleek, compact, smooth, and still has the new car smell. We were getting along great, the car and I, until it started telling me what to do. (I see some married people nodding at this point. You get it). …
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Why Is it So Hard To Take The First Step?
Author: Shuli Sandler, Psy.D.
September 1st, 2021

Many of us know what we want. We have ideas of what we want to accomplish, we may make lists, or set goals. And yet, productive action often evades us. We may feel a gap between what we want to achieve and what we do. Other times, we may feel confused and unable to define what it is it that we truly want. How do we take that first step? Or rather, why is it that we often don’t take the steps to define what we want and accomplish our goals. …
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Write Your Way Home
Author: .Yocheved Rottenberg, CJF
September 1st, 2021

Imagine I told you that I know of a therapist that costs about a dollar an hour, has a lot of availability and is surprisingly effective. You wouldn't believe me, but I'd insist it's true. Take out a notebook, find yourself a pen, and begin writing. Therapy has officially begun.
Therapeutic writing is research-based, effective and very simple. Once you learn to do it properly, you can achieve tremendous growth by understanding yourself, cont …
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The Anatomy of Bad Middos
Author: Yehuda Krohn, PsyD
June 3rd, 2021

Dear Readers Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed The Soul and the Psyche. “Soul” and “psyche” represent, respectively, the spiritual and psychological dimensions of a person. Interestingly, the two terms didn’t always have different meanings. When the term psyche was first introduced, it, too, was understood to be primarily a spiritual force, one that outlasts and outlives the body.  In pa …
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