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Parenting with Purpose
Sara Teichman, PsyD
Click here to view my clinical profile
A proactive approach to chinuch habonim based on understanding and respect.
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Showing Results 1 - 10 (32 total)
Why Children Misbehave
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
July 24th, 2018

Dear Dr. T.,
I am a teacher, so discipline is second nature to me. I have a good understanding of positive reinforcement and how to use consequences. I am pretty successful, if I say so myself, probably because I am consistent in my dealing with my children.
So, why am I writing you? Well, it’s about my nine year old daughter. Honestly, I just can’t understand her. She somehow makes trouble at home and in school- even …
Chinuch vs, Control #2
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
July 3rd, 2018
The previous article differentiated between chinuch and control.  Whereas chinuchis long- lasting and emanating from within the child, control is short–lived and external- i.e. we can force our child to behave  but only while he is in our presence. But, as parents, we want more than just learned, automatic, albeit good, behavior. We want our children to choose to do the right thing-in public and in private. Unfortunately, too …
Chinuch vs. Control
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
June 14th, 2018
Dear Dr. T.,
My situation is a bit unusual, but I bet lots of people are as confused as I am.
Let me explain.
I am the second wife of a much older man whose children are all grown and married. Together, we have two boys – ages eight and ten.
I think the boys are really good kids. They have some spunk and spirit, they love mischief, but don’t give us any real grief- at home or in school.
My husband does not a …
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
May 28th, 2018
                                                                        Dear Dr T., My fourteen year old wears me down. She loves to complain and I just can’t get through to her. So we are both unhappy and frustrated: she because ‘I don’t understand he …
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
May 9th, 2018
Dear Dr T., My children don't like to work hard! If something requires effort, forget it: they prefer not to learn or master the skill. They have tasted success when I pushed them to practice things such as riding a bike or jumping rope. But they often give up so easily and have a low frustration tolerance level, and this makes every lesson very difficult. This carries over to schoolwork as well. They would rather do poorly on a test th …
Getting an "A"
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
April 18th, 2018
                                           Dear Dr. T., My daughter is bright and gets all A’s. That’s right – A’s, not A minuses. She will literally stay up all night to make sure she gets that A. She memorizes everything – even stuff that is basically trivial [history of Indian tribes in New York anyone?]- …
Parenting Your Teen
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
March 7th, 2018
Dear Dr. T.,  My husband and I are concerned about a change we see in our oldest who is seventeen. Though he’s always been a great kid and a wonderful example for his sibs, of late he has developed a challenging attitude. We can’t call it chutzpah because he is generally quite respectful; however, in word and tone, facial expression and body language, he conveys that he most certainly does not agree with our ideas, thoughts, plan …
Purim Woes
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
February 7th, 2018
Dear Dr T, Last Purim, I felt really bad for my fourteen year old daughter and I would like to help her this year. Somehow, she got very caught up with the misloach manos. She was frantic about making the right thing for her friends- an original theme, fancy stuff- you get the picture. Then, she was disappointed and out of joint all day because she felt that she didn’t get as many baskets as her friends or siblings. It didn’t seem to …
My Child's a Thief
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
January 16th, 2018
  Dear Dr. T., I would never believe that this could happen to me. My 10-year-old daughter has been caught stealing money at school.  Some background: We are a typical, large family in the community. We are very careful in matters of character, and I would never expect such outrageous behavior. In fact, we have never had any problems with this child before. She is our middle child, quiet and well-mannered. Though she obviously understan …
Lowering the Temperature
Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD
January 1st, 2018
Dear Dr. T., Sometimes when I look into my children’s eyes, I shudder to think at the parent I have become.  Let me explain. I wake up every morning with the best of intentions: I will keep my cool and be positive with my children. But, like failed dieting, my resolve melts sooner or later in the day- when a child spills, I am late again, or there is just too much stuff for one set of parents to deal with. I quickly become irritable an …