Turning the Tables on the Bully
Humor combined with excessive sugar is an extremely potent weapon when combating bullying. The person who is able to feign concern for the bully has the opportunity of putting the tormenter in a defensive position while simultaneously creating a comedy show. The victim assumes that the bully’s behavior is a direct result of a neurological disorder rather than malicious intent. The injured party insists that, “A nice and kind person like him/her would never deliberately try to trip or harm anyone; he/she must be suffering from epilepsy.” The former victim needs to extol positive virtues and describe his tormentor in angelic terms that support his/her position; therefore, it is crucial to describe the bully as a person with impeccable character, “she/he is so considerate of others and the first person ready to assist anyone in a difficult situation …” These statements are hilarious since the good character describing the tormentor is usually not inherent in the bully. The ensuing laughter empowers the victim and earns the respect of his/her peers; the victim is able to fight his/her own battle while simultaneously performing an entertaining one man comedy show that has the audience in stitches.
This charade can include the administration; the injured party is able to skillfully address his/her “genuine” concern regarding the welfare of his tormenter with the teacher and other members of the staff. The bully will probably suffer the just consequence of his/her behavior since the victim properly mortifies the bully once the staff participates in the drama and echo “genuine” concern. Bullying is a difficult issue to resolve; the staff would welcome the opportunity to resolve this dilemma using the creative and highly effective strategy of dramatizing concern and enjoying a good laugh at the bully’s expense.
Tourette’s syndrome is another neurological disorder that can be “diagnosed” when harassment takes the form of verbal abuse. The same skills of behaving excessively sweet as sugar will successfully catch the bully off guard and place him in an unfamiliar arena where he is defensive rather than offensive. This technique has the best results when the victim practices his/her act at home with a family member coaching his/her acting skills until he/she perfects his /her act; the effectiveness of the strategy is determined by the acting skills of the performer.
Rivky was a nine year old child who moved to New York from Denver; the school recommended that she seek counseling since she was suffering both socially and academically. Her parents were people of modest means and unable to afford the extra tutoring needed to help Rivky obtain the skills she was missing to keep up in a school with higher academic standards. The therapist addressed this issue with the parents who agreed to take advantage of the chesed tutoring offered in school; this program provided the remedial help their daughter needed for a fraction of the cost. Furthermore, the therapist addressed the child’s attire that was obviously less fashionable than the other girls; her parents began to realize that their duty does not end with paying for a proper Jewish education. They must do everything in their power to help their child feel comfortable in her school environment; therefore, she was given a stylish haircut and outfitted with fashionable clothes that helped alleviate her self-consciousness. However, Rivky was already targeted by the class bully who managed to single her out at every opportunity.
The therapist assisted Rivky in brainstorming strategies that would outsmart the bully; mastering humor as a tool in combating awkward situations are skills that will help the client acclimate to any new environment comfortably. Therapy provided Rivky and her family with the additional insight of being aware of the different nuances such as fashion that they need to observe when they are introduced to a new social setting. However, this relentless bully was merciless and her family was untouchable since her father was head of the board; therefore, the staff cowered from the bully since they feared jeopardizing their job lest they take an assertive position opposing this tormentor. This instance needed an innovative approach that would not accuse the guilty party of deliberately doing something wrong, she is not responsible for what she is doing. A neurological illness is not within a person’s realm of control; therefore, the therapist had Rivky provide her with concrete examples, sticking out her foot to trip her and imitating her accent with disdainful looks and a scornful tone. The clinician role played with Rivky the proper tone and script that would elicit the desired response. After a month of practicing the routine with her clinician Rivky had enough confidence to execute the plan. Rivky chose the morning since she knew that the teacher would be in class and her tormenter, Sara would inevitably trip her when she was least aware. However, that morning the bully was not prepared for the onslaught that ensued; Rivky demonstrated superior talent as an actress and shrieked in a panicky tone that Sara was having an epileptic seizure; Sara rolled her eyes which was used as additional evidence that she is an epileptic. Rivky adhered to the script using Sara’s reputation of being a “kind and considerate person,” and continued to extol Sara’s virtues to help validate her diagnosis.
Rivky boldly approached the teacher who was unable to control her amusement since the class was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Rivky became a heroine overnight since she taught the class a valuable skill in combating evil; outsmart your tormenter. Sara never bothered Rivky or anyone else in that class again; Rivky blossomed socially which helped her eventually blossom academically. Conquering the bully provided her with the confidence to face challenges in life; she did not need rich, influential parents to succeed since she was armed with impenetrable confidence.