Parshat Terumah presents a profound exploration of the psychology of giving as it unfolds within the construction of the Mishkan. The Parsha details the meticulous instructions for creating a space on Earth to connect with Hashem. The Parsha starts by saying, “V'yikchu Li Terumah – and you should take for yourselves a contribution for me' (Exodus 25:2).” This passuk goes beyond the mere physical construction and provides valuable insights into the psychological dimensions of giving. The passuk is interesting, as it should have said ‘V'yitnu – and you shall give’ but instead Hashem provides us a wonderful lesson on the power of giving.

 

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” The psychology of giving is complex, involving factors like empathy, altruism, and social connection. Giving can evoke feelings of happiness and satisfaction, creating a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It often strengthens social bonds and contributes to a positive self-image, fostering a sense of interconnectedness within communities. What we clearly see is that giving from ourselves increases our purpose and connection to others. Furthermore, 'Terumah' comes from the root 'Ram', which means ‘uplifted’, to show us that when we give, we ourselves become uplifted - we elevate our lives through giving.

 

Until this moment, Bnei Yisrael had been exclusively takers. Hashem gave them Man, water, food, security, and shelter. Though at every physical level this was an unparalleled deliverance, the psychological effects were not good. Bnei Yisrael became dependent, expectant, and prone to complaints. However, an additional item provided by Hashem, was the opportunity to give.

 

The Rambam (Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Mattenot Aniyim 7:5) writes, "Even a poor person who is dependent on tzedakah (charity) is obligated to give tzedakah to another person." Giving is not just about what you have, its about shaping who you are. It allows us to become reciprocal human being not exclusively takers. The psychological concept of reciprocity sheds light on the dynamic exchange embedded in the act of giving. In Parshat Terumah, when provided the opportunity, Bnei Yisrael give generously, and in return, they receive the divine presence within the Mishkan This reciprocal relationship reflects the psychological principle that acts of generosity and kindness create a positive feedback loop, fostering a sense of interconnectedness and shared purpose. In the case of Terumah, the reciprocity extends beyond the immediate contributors to include the entire community benefiting from the sacred space. The more of ourselves that we give, the greater we become.

 

Here are some brief tips on how to instill a giving mindset:

 

Practice Gratitude: Cultivating a giving mindset often begins with appreciating what you have. Take time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life and express gratitude. Focusing on the good things can shift your perspective and make you more inclined to share with others.

 

Set Giving Goals: Establish specific and achievable giving goals for yourself. Whether it’s money, time, or a cause, having clear goals provides direction and motivation. Regularly review and adjust these goals to challenge yourself to increase your giving over time.

 

Parshat Terumah serves as a timeless guide, illuminating the psychological intricacies of giving. It asks us to explore the motivations behind our contributions and the transformative power of reciprocity in building harmonious communities. Through understanding the psychology of giving, we can derive enduring lessons that resonate across generations, shaping our individual and collective paths towards greater purpose and connection.

 

Shabbat Shalom, 
Elan 

Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, weekly blog.  He lives in Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and three children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.

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