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Defunding the Police with Korach
When Korach Tried to Defund the Police
As a kid, I remember secretly identifying with Korach’s thinking.
Didn’t he just want equality? A place at the table? Was that so bad?
Who decides who gets to be in charge? Why can’t there be committees and dialogue about roles?
Even to this day, there is a part of me that bucks against authority, rules, and structured hierarchy.
In middle school, we once had one of those situations where a teacher threatened punishment for the whole class “unless the guilty party came forward” and when she left the room, I scribbled on the board (in the original Hebrew): “Will one man sin and your wrath will be on the entire congregation?” (Teachers did not generally love me.)
In the beloved (but a little disturbing) musical, School of Rock, they sing a song called: Stick it to the Man- glorifying the value of rebelling against any authority: parents, teachers, schools, or rules. This justifies the protagonist’s lying, cheating, and stealing, because he’s funny, musical, and liked by kids.
The thing about Korach is that he may have started from a good place. Or maybe not. Maybe it was a penchant for the people, or maybe it was his own ego. So often the noble creed of “why can’t everyone” is easily confused with “why can’t it be me?”
He was an educated and charismatic person and lobbied to each group according to its agenda:
“You should have been the priests!”
“You should be a leader in your own right!”
“Who needs leaders? We are all holy and have a right to relate directly to G-d!”
Tell the people what they want to hear; anything to overthrow the establishment.
When someone isn’t happy with the status quo, the logic is to advocate for change.
When someone’s ego is outraged and offended, the temptation is for mutiny.
In our times, large segments of the population are dissatisfied with the status quo. Every honest and growing person should support the idea of improvement- whether individual, societal, or political.
When Jethro, as a newcomer, saw problems in the judicial system, he boldly approached the man in charge and said: “Your structure isn’t working well. I have a better idea for you.” His advice was heeded and credited.
When Korach felt marginalized and perceived what he believed to be corruption and nepotism, he launched a full on rebellion, including smear campaigns and segmented pandering.
Moshe said: I never usurped power unilaterally; I serve the people, but let’s let G-d make the call.
The rebels literally ran themselves into the ground.
Today, many people have traded in advocacy for anarchy, and abandoned vital dialogue in favor of violent destruction.
Instead of working to improve the world we have, building on the progress that has already been made, a war has been declared. They’ve instigated a deliberate demolition of civilized life as we know it, mistakenly believing that home improvements always need to begin with bulldozers.
Korach wanted to oust the leadership: not replace it, not collaborate with it, but destroy it. He preached equality but ultimately craved his own dominion. Ego and power-hungry rage are rarely the ingredients for building a better world.
Proponents of chaos and mayhem would prefer lawlessness over imperfect and evolving freedom.
The message of Korach and his followers is that progress doesn’t come from defunding the police and sabotaging everyone’s safety. Setting the world on fire doesn't solve problems- it burns people.
The Jews in the desert and those of us fortunate enough to live in Western society are the beneficiaries of benevolent leadership. Every decade brings more enlightenment and understanding about how to better the world for more of us. Yes, minority groups still need more- and that has been steadily improving in leaps and bounds over the past century.
An imperfect society doesn’t need to be razed in order to be raised.
Have you ever wondered how often people engage in sexual activity?
Or how often is optimal for healthy, happily married couples to aim for?
(I purposely used the euphemism “be intimate” in the title because often, people who ask this question in the framework of “supposed to” are uncomfortable with the more direct language of “have sex.” They may prefer to say things like : “be together, do it, make love, have relations, etc.” Whatever works:)
Couples therapists get this question a lot, especially from people who feel like they didn't or don't have enough information in the area of sexuality education.
It’s a legitimate curiosity, but the answer may be unsatsifying.
Firstly: “supposed to” is not a great framework for healthy sex. It works better when the focus is on mutual pleasure, not obligation or comparison.
Second: Frequency is not something that is mandated. Not psychologically, not legally, not Biblically.
It’s determined by and customized to each couple.
There is a Medrash that describes this, and is quoted by Rashi in this week’s Torah portion (I’m writing this the week of VaYishlach, but you can read it any week:)
When Yaakov sent gifts of livestock to his brother Esav, the Torah lists in great detail, the numbers and species of all the animals in the caravan.
Why do we care how many he-goats and she-goats there were?
The answer offered is that the ratio of male to female animals was determined by how often they needed to mate, which was determined by how strenuously they worked. The Medrash extrapolates an analogy to human mating schedules. (The paradigm used by the Talmudic literature is phrased in terms of a husband’s requirement to be available for his wife, not the reverse, but sex should always be consensual both ways.)
The Medrash says that men of leisure might be available daily, laborers twice weekly, donkey drivers once a week, camel drivers ones a month, and sailors/ those who travel for work, every six months.
Of course these are just some examples but Rashi goes on to explain:
“From here we learn that this need is not equal to every person [or couple.]” It depends on the couple’s individual schedules, emotional, and physical limitations and needs.
I’ve heard many people say that they were initially under the impression that couples only have sex when they want to conceive a baby. They were genuinely shocked to learn otherwise. This is not so ludicrous, when you consider the fact that many young people are taught about sex only in the framework of “how babies are made” if that much. Of course, most couples have far more sexual activity than they do children or attempts to conceive them.
It’s a legitimate query to ask how often couples have sex, but there isn’t a one size fits all answer.
Naturally there are some broad, cultural averages, and data. The most commonly quoted one is approximately once a week, but the numbers range significantly, and fluctuate within each couple based on many variables, such as stages of life like pregnancies, having babies and young children, medical or situational factors, and other variables that often make it challenging or more feasible. So please do not use that average to shame yourself or your partner for wanting more or less than that!
The healthiest answer to "how often should a couple be intimate is “as often as works well for both of them at each stage and season of life.”
Desire discrepancies and changes in libido over time are normal, but if you're finding that yours or your partner's are feeling disruptive to your relationship, please take the time to have a loving, strategizing conversation about it with your spouse, read up on the subject, and if necessary reach out for help.
Check out my course!
A Religious Families Guide to Healthy Holy Sex Education: Sacred Not Secret
Elisheva Liss, LMFT is a psychotherapist in private practice. Her book, Find Your Horizon of Healthy Thinking, is available on Amazon.com. She can be reached for sessions or speaking engagements at speaktosomeone@gmail.com More of her content can be found at ElishevaLiss.com