Our Gemara on Amud Aleph addresses discovering a sinful act mid-process, like when a wife becomes niddah during intercourse. Immediate withdrawal increases pleasurable contact, as motion, entry or exit, causes pleasure. Instead, he must prop himself up, remain motionless until his erection subsides, and then withdraw.
Rava deduces that intercourse requires an erect organ; if flaccid, it’s not halachically intercourse for certain violations. He argues:
If flaccid intercourse were liable, why is he exempt here by waiting? It’s a circumstance beyond control, as immediate withdrawal should also be exempt. Therefore we see that, flaccid contact isn’t intercourse, and that is why he must wait.
Abaye counters: Flaccid intercourse may be liable. Waiting minimizes pleasure, reducing liability. Immediate withdrawal, increasing pleasure, incurs more liability despite circumstances.
Per Abaye, one should minimize pleasure when forced to violate Torah. Sefer Daf al Daf cites Sheiris Yosef (III:21): If drinking on Yom Kippur due to illness, one should choose water over soda. However, Sheiris Yosef says that since we rule in accordance with Rava, that flaccid intercourse isn’t intercourse, Rava might not agree with this principle of minimizing pleasure. In our case he must wait until his erection subsides so that he can exit without violation.
However, I wonder whether Sheiris Yosef’s comparison to our Gemara is valid. In our Gemara, the person is passively in a forbidden act (niddah discovered mid-act). Passivity can avoid violation even during a sexual act if one does not actively participate (or engage in a manner that shows will, which includes increasing pleasure. See Sanhedrin 74b, “Esther Karka Olam”.) Therefore, any increase of pleasure may escalate the violation . But On Yom Kippur, active drinking is permitted for life-threatening reasons, so choosing water over soda may not be required, since action is action. Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 618:7,9) suggests minimizing amounts for the ill or pregnant and starting with simpler foods for the bulmos, but doesn’t mandate less tasty options and seems limited to those mitigation efforts but not specifically denying pleasure. Nevertheless, we can agree that eating humbly on Yom Kippur respects its spirit, but halacha might permit soda as much as water.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com