Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the halachic concept of misasek. Misasek is when an act is committed without any intention and/or awareness that the act is committed. In certain circumstances, depending on the nature of the prohibition, there is no liability on the part of the person who commits it. This is different from what we might call an accidental sin, such as forgetting a Halacha and therefore unintentionally making a violation, which is known as shogeg and actually can require repentance as there is a degree of negligence. Misasek is not even being aware that the violation is occurring, such as intending to pick up vegetables that were already detached from the ground, but instead, his hand grasped vegetables that were still attached. He is completely unaware that he is violating Shabbos because he does not even know that he is doing the act of cutting or harvesting. On the other hand, if he forgot that it was Shabbos or he forgot that harvesting was forbidden and grasped vegetables, this would be considered shogeg and he would have some liability because he was aware of the act that he was committing. This exemption does not apply when the act committed also brings about an experience of pleasure, because on some level there is still presence or awareness (Kerisos 19b).
This halachic concept also has metaphysical implications because we can ask ourselves: What is sin? Is it action, intention, or both? Rav Tzaddok (Tzidkas Hatzaddik 145) explains this in a deep way that instructs us regarding our attitude toward mitzvos in general, and why repentance works:
Rav Tzaddok starts with a principle that actions and intention are parallel to the body and soul; neither can operate in this world without the other. It is true the soul can “live” in the spiritual world but it cannot accomplish anything in this world without the body. So too, thoughts have great impact in the spiritual world but do not accomplish anything in this world without the body. Yet, the opposite is also true. A body in this world without a soul is a dead corpse. So too, an action in this world without intention is dead.
This is why misasek does not require penitence because it is a disembodied act with no relevance. Rav Tzaddok takes this idea further to explain how repentance is not just forgiveness but even a reversal or erasure of the sin. Since the sin only has life with accompanying intention, if a person deeply regrets their actions, then he has retroactively removed his intent. Once the intent disappears, the sin is a lifeless nothing with no import. (If he enjoyed the sin, as we saw enjoyment disrupts the dispensation of misasek, so he may need to undergo some suffering to negate the pleasure.)
This idea of regret and wish to have done something different is deep and powerful. Philosophically, the past really does not exist except in our memories. Most memories are flawed and inaccurate anyhow, but we live by the narrative that these memories have constructed. If you express to yourself, or to a spouse or family member, a deep wish to have done something different in the past, and even give details of what and how you would have reacted, behaved, etc., it’s not just a mere apology. Instead, you are crafting a new narrative that is just as real as what happened if the person really believes you.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com