Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha and Psychology

Parashat Korach presents one of the most emotionally charged confrontations in the Torah. Korach, a cousin of Moshe Rabeynu and Aharon HaCohen, challenges their leadership with the stinging accusation: "רַב לָכֶם – You’ve taken too much for yourselves!" At first glance, it seems like a political rebellion hidden in the language of religiousness. But deeper psychological and emotional layers emerge when we examine how Moshe Rabeynu responds, using the exact same phrase: “רַב לָכֶם בְּנֵי לֵוִי – It is too much for you, sons of Levi.” This rhetorical mirroring invites a powerful exploration of the psychology of deflection and how our own words often come back to us.

The tu quoque fallacy, Latin for “you too,” is a communication and argument tactic where someone deflects criticism by accusing the critic of similar behavior. For example, if a person is confronted about being late to meetings and responds by saying, “Well, you’re late all the time too.” It shifts the focus away from one’s own actions and avoids addressing the actual substance of the claim. In clinical terms, this aligns with the defense mechanism of deflection, a way individuals protect themselves from guilt, shame, or vulnerability. Though this may temporarily reduce discomfort, it prevents accountability and hinders genuine growth and repair in relationships.

Moshe Rabeynu's use of the phrase “רַב לָכֶם” in response to Korach is not petty mimicry and not wrong. He is confronting a dangerous rebellion that needs to be addressed. Yet the phrase itself repeats and it doesn’t stop there. Much later in Parshat Vaetchanan, as Moshe Rabeynu pleads with Hashem to enter the Land of Israel, Hashem responds: "רַב לָךְ, אַל תּוֹסֶף דַּבֵּר אֵלַי" — "It is too much for you. Do not speak to Me again about this." The Gemara in Sotah 13b makes the connection explicit: “With the word rav Moshe rebuked them, and with the word rav he himself was rebuked.” The Daat Zekeinim explains this as a case of midah k’neged midah - measure for measure. Hashem wasn't punishing Moshe Rabeynu out of anger, but holding up a mirror to show him the emotional impact of his own language. Even justifiable words, when delivered with finality, can land as rejection.

Rav Shimon Schwab adds a compassionate layer: Moshe Rabeynu’s intention may have been to remind the Leviim of their elevated spiritual role not to dismiss them, but to say, “You already have something holy!” Still, his words lacked a recognition of their underlying yearning for closeness to Hashem. Even ambition, when rooted in spiritual desire, deserves to be acknowledged. This narrative teaches that language, especially in moments of confrontation or authority, carries immense power. Words echo around us: socially, emotionally, and even spiritually. In analytical psychologist Carl Jung’s semi‑autobiographical work Memories, Dreams, Reflections he writes “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

Three Short Tips to Avoid Deflection

1. Stay with the issue.
2. When someone offers criticism or feedback, pause before responding. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Resist the urge to counterattack.
3. Own your flaws.
4. Defensiveness thrives on perfectionism. Embrace your humanity. Say: "You're right, I've struggled with that too. Here's how I'm working on it."
5. Lead with curiosity, not fear.
6. When feeling attacked, shift from defense to discovery. Try: "Can you help me understand why that hurt you?" That one question can de-escalate tension and invite connection.

The Torah doesn’t only guide our behaviors, it shapes our communication. From Moshe Rabeynu, we learn that even the greatest leaders are held accountable for their tone. Not because they are wrong, but because they are responsible. We must learn to recognize and avoid this deflection in our personal lives and relationships, fostering honest connection and true accountability Let’s speak more thoughtfully. Let’s avoid using someone’s words as a weapon, and instead meet hard truths with humility. Because sometimes, the very words we speak are the ones Hashem uses to speak back to us.