Our Gemara on Amud Aleph states that in a certain sense, a woman is considered circumcised. Meaning to say, even though anatomically she is unable to have the Jewish circumcision, since she is a full Jew, she is treated as if she is part of the same covenant.

Ben Yehoyada, quoting the Arizal, develops this idea further. He says it is similar to the principle that women are not obligated in time-bound mitzvos but it is considered as if they fulfill them by virtue of their husband’s performance. 

I don’t believe this is literal—after all, what about a single woman, especially an orphan who has no husband or father? Rather, it is the idea that she is part of the team. The goalie gets the same trophy as the forwards.

I have always been troubled by an explanation I’ve heard since my youth regarding why women are not obligated in time-bound mitzvos: That they are really more holy and do not need those mitzvos. I am aware that answers along this line have been given by authoritative rabbis wiser than I, yet I find this answer troubling—and I imagine some women would as well. It has the feel of apologetics. Let me put it this way: If you were deprived of something that felt subjectively like a privilege, say volunteering for a community project like building a shul or school, would it really feel good to be told, “You don’t need to help—because you’re just so much holier than us”? I don’t think that kind of statement makes anybody feel better.

This is why I was delighted to see this Ben Yehoyada and related Arizal. Their approach to the problem is different. They are not claiming that women are superior, but neither are they inferior. What they are saying—though it’s certainly an old story, and may make people of the 21st century uncomfortable—is that gender-based roles, responsibilities, and expectations exist. It is understood that women often have maternal instincts and extensive childcare obligations, and so their relationship to the numerous commandments of the Torah is different. Yet because they are part of the team, when men do what they do in their roles, women are part of the mitzvah observance and covenant. In the end, it is not a value system that fully aligns with modern secular notions, but the Torah does not have to align itself with every modern idea, so long as it offers a reasonable and healthy way to live in the world. Recognizing gender roles in a non-oppressive manner might even be healthy—even if it limits each gender differently.

We might think ancient society was cruel to women—and in many ways, the ancient world did not sufficiently protect individual rights—but I can’t think of anything more cruel than the modern conception that a woman should feel obligated to compete in the employment marketplace and jump back into work six weeks or three months after the most profound experience of childbirth. Ignoring the fundamental and powerful experiences that the genders go through differently is every bit as savage as some would consider in regard to so-called primitive social norms.