Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes the verse that describes Rivkah as she goes to the well and encounters Eliezer. To recap, Eliezer prays for God to guide events, asking that the maiden who will offer him and his camels to drink be the appropriate bride for Yitschok (Bereishis 24:15):
“He had scarcely finished speaking, when Rebekah, who was born to Besuel, the son of Milcah, the wife of Avraham’s brother Nachor, came out with her jug on her shoulder.”
We’ve heard this story since childhood. However, there is a remarkable feature in the narrative that often goes unnoticed: Why is the detail of the jug on her shoulder important? The verse could have simply said, “Rivkah gave Eliezer and his camels to drink.”
Malbim (ibid.) notes that this emphasizes the miraculous nature of events. She was a daughter of nobility, and it would be unusual for her to be drawing water herself. Be’er Mayim Chaim (ibid.) takes it even further, stating that Rivkah went out against her family’s wishes. They disapproved of her venturing out alone, but she felt an inner impulse to go. Otherwise, what would explain why a young woman from an aristocratic family would go fetch water and carry it herself?
This underscores a psychological theme seen in many of the patriarchs and matriarchs: They are not always passive and obedient. They are pulled by powerful internal forces—intuition, moral compass, spiritual drive—that put them at odds with family and community. Avraham smashed his father’s idols. Yaakov buys the firstborn rights and misleads his father to obtain the blessings. Rivkah here disobeys her parents to follow her own path.
We are a stiff-necked people (Shemos 32:9)—and sometimes that stubbornness is our spiritual strength.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com