Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an incident where a halachic mistake was made, and the sage’s response—or rather, his non-response.
The topic under discussion is that, although certain jugs may contain the absorbed flavor of gentile wine, it is permitted to store beer in such jugs. This is because the nature of beer is to disrupt and neutralize the taste of wine. Thus, the person derives no benefit from the leftover prohibited wine flavors. However, it would not be permitted to store wine in such jugs, as the wine will draw out and reawaken the latent flavors of the non-Jewish wine that were absorbed into the vessel.
The Gemara recounts:
Ravina permitted Rav Chiyya, son of Rav Yitzchok, to pour beer into such a jug, but he mistakenly poured wine into it instead. And even so, Ravina was not concerned over the matter, as he said to himself: “It is merely an incidental occurrence.”
(That is, the fact that Rav Chiyya mistakenly poured wine into the jug instead of beer is not a reason to prohibit filling it with beer in general.)
It is notable that, although we find throughout Torah law many rabbinic enactments to protect observance and prevent confusion or leniency—what we call “making a fence around the Torah” (Avos 1:1)—this particular incident did not result in Ravina issuing a new prohibition. One mistake did not trigger a whole new decree.
The Terumas HaDeshen (Responsum 101) and Pri Chadash (Orach Chaim 461 s.v. “Od”) both discuss similar cases where halachic mistakes prompted some to suggest new communal enactments. However, they cite our Gemara as proof that not every mistake warrants a long-term legislative response.
This is a vital principle in halachic leadership and in life: Too many rules can backfire. Excessive strictness can lead to what we might call “observance fatigue.” The Gemara (Horiyos 3b; Bava Basra 60b) articulates this clearly:
“One does not issue a decree upon the community unless the majority of the community can withstand it.”
In fact, there are well-known examples where the rabbis attempted to legislate new stringencies, but the enactments failed to take hold due to a lack of communal compliance (see Tosafos Avodah Zara 36b “Iy Iyka” for an important caveat, that it still is binding but can be nullified by any Beis Din, even one of lesser stature.). For instance, the pas akum— commercially bread baked by non-Jews— in ancient times was technically ingredient-kosher. The recipe was simple (flour, yeast, water) and ovens were dedicated and hot enough to avoid absorption concerns. Yet the rabbis attempted to prohibit such bread in order curtail social mingling. However, in practice, the rabbis never fully enforced the ban because the public effectively “voted with their feet” by not widely accepting the custom when it was introduced (See Tosafos Avodah Zarah 35b s.v. “Miklal.” Also oil of gentiles seemed to have a similar legislative process see Avodah Zara 26a.) It seems that the rabbis go through a trial period and allow pragmatism and respect for communal instinct to see whether a rule becomes binding based on whether the majority actually adopt the practice.
This idea—that not all mistakes require a rule—is just as important in relationships and parenting. In my counseling work, I often see clients overreact to isolated incidents, interpreting them as definitive patterns. What I advise is: You don’t need to respond to every mistake or hurtful act. If it was a one-time slip, forgive, ignore, or let it go.
And if it is part of a problematic pattern, that will become clear with time. Patterns tend to repeat. When they do, you’ll have other chances to address them with calm and clarity. This reduces unnecessary conflict and allows space for personal growth.
When setting boundaries in a marriage, with children, or even in our communities, we should always ask:
Is this part of a pattern?
If yes, there’s no need to panic—we’ll get another chance to deal with it.
If no, then let it go. No need to create extra fences around fences.
Sometimes, the best halachic and psychological response is to do nothing.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com