Our Gemara on Amud Aleph relates that Avimi traveled to Rav Chisda to get help with understanding a particular sugya. This is even more remarkable because Rav Chisda was Rav Avimi’s student. This leads the Gemara to ask, “Why didn’t Avimi summon his student instead of traveling to him?” The Gemara answers that traveling to him would make the endeavor more successful. Rashi explains by quoting the famous rabbinic adage, “If you work hard for it (a spiritual or Torah goal), you will succeed.”

This speaks to the value of hard work and investment. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz (Sichos Mussar, Ma’amar 50, p. 223) and Rav Aharon Kotler (Mishnas Aharon, Bechukosai) both note that the hard work is not even related to the study. Here, Rav Avimi’s toil was in the travel. This brings out the point that there is a special siyyata dishmaya (heavenly assistance) when one invests effort, even if the effort is not directly in the study.

Psychologically, we know this is true as well. When someone invests in any project, there is a sense of ownership and pride that creates a stronger bond. This is an important principle in chinuch as well, especially in our times where discipline is much less about punishment and more about motivation via “chains of love” (the famous words of the Chazon Ish, YD 2:28). When discussing Torah or moral obligations with children, we should help them develop ownership over their observances or learning. How do we do that? We do less preaching and more asking questions. For example, despite curriculum requirements, there should be a way for a class to collectively decide on a learning project or area of focus. Parents also should have discussions with their children collectively at the Shabbos table, or individually, about which mitzvos resonate and speak to them. Instead of just directing and teaching about Jewish life, Torah, and mitzvos, we should ask questions that encourage reflection and self-agency in these observances.