Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha and Psychology

Parshat Terumah presents a profound exploration of the psychology of giving as it unfolds within the construction of the Mishkan. The Parsha details the meticulous instructions for creating a space on Earth in which humanity could connect with Hashem. Yet before any measurements, materials, or architecture are described, the Torah introduces the project with a striking and unusual phrase: “V'yikchu Li Terumah, and you shall take for Me a contribution” (Exodus 25:2).

The passuk should have said V’yitnu, you shall give. Instead, the Torah deliberately says take. Through this single word, the Torah introduces a foundational lesson. Giving is not primarily a loss. It is an acquisition. When a person gives, he does not merely part with something. He becomes something.

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks explains that miracles change circumstances, but contribution changes character. Until this moment, Bnei Yisrael lived almost entirely as recipients. Hashem provided manna, water, protection, and salvation. Physically this was unparalleled care, yet psychologically it carried a cost. A person who only receives gradually loses agency. Complaint replaces initiative, and dependency replaces purpose.

Modern psychological research strongly supports this Torah idea. Studies in positive psychology consistently show that giving improves mental health through several mechanisms. First, acts of generosity activate reward pathways in the brain, increasing feelings of happiness and calm. Second, helping others shifts attention away from rumination and self focused anxiety. Third, contributing to others creates meaning and resilience, allowing people to tolerate stress more effectively. Finally, investing in others deepens relationships because attachment grows through contribution. In other words, giving does not only help the recipient. It reorganizes the inner world of the giver.

The word Terumah itself comes from the root ram, uplifted. When a person elevates something toward Heaven, he himself becomes elevated. Winston Churchill famously said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Modern psychology echoes this idea. When a person contributes, life shifts from “What do I receive?” to “Where do I matter?” The Torah encoded this psychological truth in the word take. You are not giving away. You are acquiring identity. This idea appears in halacha as well. The Rambam (Hilchot Mattenot Aniyim 7:5) rules that even a poor person who receives charity must also give charity. Giving is not only about helping others. It is about shaping the self. Judaism defines dignity not merely as survival, but as contribution. Receiving keeps a person alive. Giving makes a person a participant in existence.

Rav Dessler, in Michtav Me'Eliyahu, explains that people assume we give to those we love. In truth, we come to love those to whom we give. Investment creates attachment. In Parshat Terumah, Bnei Yisrael did not just build a place for Hashem. They built a relationship with Hashem. The more they invested, the more connected they became. “V’shachanti b’socham” teaches that Hashem dwells not inside the structure, but inside the builders. Giving therefore creates a reciprocal loop. A person gives, feels ownership, develops connection, and discovers meaning. The holiness of the Mishkan emerged not only from the Divine presence entering it, but from the people investing themselves into it. The more of ourselves we give, the greater we become.

Here are some brief tips on how to instill a giving mindset:

1. Practice Gratitude
2. Recognizing what we already have shifts us from scarcity to abundance. Gratitude naturally opens the door to generosity.
3. Give Consistently
4. Small, regular acts of giving shape identity more deeply than occasional large gestures. A scheduled act of giving transforms generosity from inspiration into character.
5. Involve Children in Giving
6. When children actively participate in helping others, packing food, assisting neighbors, volunteering, they are not only learning kindness. They are forming identity. A giving self is built through action.

Parshat Terumah ultimately is not a fundraising campaign but a transformation campaign. Hashem did not ask for donations because He needed a Mishkan. He asked for donations because the Jewish people needed to become builders. The Torah does not say “give.” It says “take.” Because whenever a person truly gives, he is the one who receives.