Our Gemara at the end of 99b through the top of Amud Aleph discusses Gehenom and punishment in the after life, based on a verse in Iyov (36:15–16): “He has allured you out of a narrow opening to a broad place without confines below it, and that which is set on your table is full of fatness.”

“Come and see that the attribute of flesh and blood is unlike the attribute of the Holy One, Blessed be He. The attribute of flesh and blood is that a person allures another from the paths of life to the paths of death, but the Holy One, Blessed be He, allures the person from the paths of death to the paths of life, as it is stated: “And also He has allured you out of a narrow opening,” i.e., from Gehenna, the opening of which is narrow so that its smoke is collected within it. And lest you say: Just as the opening of Gehenna is narrow, so too, all of Gehenna is narrow, the verse states: “For Gehenna has been arranged of old, it has been prepared even for the king, deep and large, its pile is fire and much wood, the breath of the Lord kindles it like a stream of brimstone” (Isaiah 30:33).”

There is an interesting word used “yesitecha”, which translates as “lures” or “goads”. The problem with this choice of word is that in Hebrew, it is used exclusively for goading or encouraging immoral behavior, such as found in the verse in Devarim (13:7) “If your brother…entices (yesitecha) you in secret saying, Come let us worship other gods…”

If so, why does this verse use that word in regard to God encouraging a person to make the life giving and moral choice? The Maharsha here says this is because sometimes the Mitzvos may seem bad subjectively to you but actually be for your betterment.

There is no question that any system of advice based on accumulated wisdom, or even a diet or exercise regimen, often involves sacrifice and a leap of faith. Your coach or mentor says, “Trust me it will be good for you.” Certainly we can believe this about Torah.

Any system requires some faith in the accumulated wisdom. A single person does not have enough time in his life to discover everything through trial and error. In the introduction to Sefer Hachinuch, he offers the following metaphor:

“Imagine it had been testified by thousands of thousands of people to not drink from the waters of a certain river, because they have seen these waters kill its drinkers. And the thing was experienced a thousand times at different time periods and with people [from] different lands. Yet, a sage expert physician said to him, “Do not believe all of them (“Trust the Science”), as I am informing you from the perspective of wisdom that these waters are not fitting to kill, since they are clear and light and the dirt that goes through them is goodly. Drink them until your soul is satiated.” Would it be good to ignore the testimony of all and to do like the words of the doctor? Truly the matter is not good and an intelligent person will not listen to him and will not heed his words.”

Even so, it is not a simple thing when a person feels that certain Mitzvos are not good for him. The standard belief is since God is all good and the religion represents a revelation of His will, no prohibition or commandment can possibly be bad. If a person experiences difficulty, there must be some lack of development, misunderstanding, or even possibly a psychological disorder that’s responsible for the difficulty. Certainly it cannot be that the word of God is incorrect, nor is it possible that it should be “updated” in order to conform with modern morals and beliefs. God’s words are timeless.

While this is an understandable and logical position to take, it’s simplistic and ignores the basic realities of life in the physical world. Many people suffer from diseases and situations that appear unfair. Our sages tell us life circumstances are not under our control - only our moral state of mind. There are other views expressed by great Torah sages that are less simplistic, more nuanced and even revolutionary. Talmud Berachos (33b) states: “Rabbi Ḥanina said: Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except for fear of Heaven.”

This means that material life and personal experience may not always be enhanced by Torah life. The goal is to develop your soul; not necessarily make you happy in this world. 

Yet we do not have to go further than the liturgy where we recite the Shema several times a day that promises abundance and success if we heed the commandments. Nevertheless, the important distinction is that section of Shema is speaking in a plural language, addressing society as a collectively, but not an individual.

Rambam, in the Guide for the Perplexed (III:34) understands that the reasons for the commandments are basically one of three purposes: (1) To promote physical health, which enables - (2) spiritual health or (3) the smooth running of society, which enables 1 & 2. Rambam compares the commandments to Nature (also designed by God). Just as the general welfare and survival is provided for by natural processes, yet individuals may have diseases or defects that nature does not protect them from, so too the Torah is designed to help the majority. There may be times or individuals that suffer and are hurt by a particular Torah requirement.

Rambam is not advocating that an individual abrogate his Torah obligations even if he could verify with absolute certainty that this aspect of the Torah is not good for him, which anyway, no one can know. This person must still follow the laws. This is similar to civil law: One is not exempt from obeying the law that is designed to promote the greatest good and common welfare, even if he can offer a strong argument why it does not promote his welfare. The Torah is still a legal system aside from a spiritual system. So even though Rambam states firmly that it is indeed possible for a Torah requirement to be in some way unhelpful and even destructive to a minority of people or possibly at points in history, the legal obligations remain unchanged.

How does this help? While in modern life a person might feel that certain aspects of Torah life do not fit, though they must still obeyed, at least one does not have to feel that their personal experiences and instincts are necessarily incorrect, and this provides a degree of validation and being “seen” by God, even when an aspect of the Torah is difficult. Of course, humility is also important in considering that perhaps it is really good for you personally, even if you cannot yet understand why.

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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com