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Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum On love and marriage and the joys and challenges of intimacy.
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Episode 12: Monogamy and Exclusivity: Defining, Preventing and Dealing with Betrayal
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
April 10th, 2019

Sexual exclusivity is a core value of Jewish marriage. Extramarital sexual contact – infidelity – represents not only a breach of Jewish law, but also a rupture of the couple’s loyalty and trust. While sexual intercourse with another person is almost universally considered adultrous behavior, how do couples define what they consider to be a betrayal? Is texting, having lunch with a member of the opposite sex, or flirting conside …
Episode 55: Loving Again After Loss: Dating and Remarriage After Widowhood
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
April 12th, 2024

Losing one’s spouse is one of life’s most difficult and painful experiences. The process of grieving includes feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and isolation. While grieving the loss of a spouse, one also mourns the loss of identity as a member of an intimate partnership and acceptance of a new identity as a widow/er. Well-intentioned friends and family members may urge those who have lost a spouse to “move on,” while o …
Episode 32: Intimacy Enhancement Products
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
April 25th, 2021

Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience. Listen here. …
Episode 31: Consent and Coercion: What Does Forced Marriage and Obligatory Sex Look Like in the Jewish Community?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
April 25th, 2021

“Forced marriage” and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren’t sure about the partner, aren’t ready for marriage, or are uncertai …
Episode 41: Is there a Jewish Principle of Pleasure
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
April 8th, 2022

The Jewish “Pleasure Principle” Sexual pleasure.  Does religion seek to minimize pleasure?  This message was communicated in the recent Netflix documentary “The Principles of Pleasure”  And to be honest, you don’t have to look hard to find Jewish sources, some in the Talmud, that do just that.  Then again, there are also sources, some mystical, that glorify (marital) sexual pleasure and satisfacti …
Should We Sympathize with Sex Abusers
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 20th, 2023

Originally published in Times of Israel.   Warning: this article contains material regarding sexual abuse that some readers may find disturbing.   A few weeks ago, podcaster and comedian Mendy Pellin featured an interview with convicted sex offender Gershon Selinger, who recounted his struggle with pedophilia and sexual offending.  Almost immediately, segments of Jewish social media were flooded with reactions. Although the podcast …
Ancient Love in Modern Times: Tu B'Av Bonus Episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 20th, 2023

The 15th of Av , also known as Tu B’Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine’s Day. In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love.Listen here.   …
Date 'Em Till You Hate 'Em: Bonus episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 20th, 2023

Not since Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof has there been a matchmaker as famous as Aleeza Ben Shalom! Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a rollicking discussion with the colorful, engaging and entertaining host of “Jewish Matchmaking.”Listen here. …
Episode 4: Shomer Negiah: Navigating Premarital Sexual Activity and Jewish Law and Values
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 28th, 2018

As human beings, we are wired for connection. When we connect emotionally with a member of the opposite sex, and experience attraction, and/or affection, the desire for intimate touch is a natural instinct. In society at large, this desire is understood to be moderated by social rules that include determining availability, and mutual consent and should include communication about boundaries and prevention of pregnancy when applicable. According t …
Episode 34: Men Are Pigs and Women Are Distractions: What Messages About Sex Are Taught in Yeshiva, Seminary, and College?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 31st, 2021

During the month of Elul, hundreds of high school graduates flock to Israel for their gap year programs, yeshivot, and seminaries. This year offers experiences of high level learning, spiritual growth, increased maturity, new friendships, and fun. But many students experience confusion, particularly around their developing sexuality. The legendary “Night of Tears” refers to the night that some yeshiva boys and seminary girls are encou …
Episode 24: When men have difficulty with sexual functioning
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 6th, 2020

The Netflix series “Unorthodox” inspired two Intimate Judaism ZOOM panels on female and male sexuality respectively. Our panel on male sexuality included discussion of the expectations on observant men to live up to contemporary societal definitions of masculinity. Men are expected to exercise full restraint over forbidden thoughts and actions, yet be obligated to perform sexually with one’s wife. This may contribute to feelings …
Episode 3 (Part 2) : Raising Sexually Healthy Children
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 7th, 2018

 How do we give our kids the right message so that they will be able to experience intimacy in marriage?. What is the connection between growing up in a safe and secure environment, and the ability to experience pleasure in the context of marital intimacy? Why is it necessary to avoid judging our children, even when we disagree with their decisions? What do we mean when we try to teach them about intimacy? And how can our relationship with G …
Episode 2 (Part 1): Raising Sexually Healthy Children
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 7th, 2018

Parents who are part of the Halachic community must balance the messages children hear from the outside world with the Torah values they are taught at home and in school. How can we achieve this balance so that our kids respect the Halachic attitudes toward sex, while also growing into sexually healthy adults? Is there a way to use media in order to educate? How does our use of language convey appropriate or inappropriate messages? Join Talli Ros …
Episode 1: Healthy male sexual development
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 7th, 2018

While male masturbation is unequivocally prohibited under Jewish law, this prohibition often creates serious conflict and guilt in the religious and private lives of young Orthodox men, with serious long-term consequences. In this episode of Intimate Judaism, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss this important topic, and attempt to outline how parents, teachers, and children should navigate the dual tracks of strengthening a commitment to …
Intimate Judaism-Pilot Episode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
August 7th, 2018

Intimate Judaism is a new podcast where a rabbi and therapist discuss intimacy, sexuality, and relationships in the context of Jewish family life and Torah observance. We raise conflicts and challenges and candidly offer solutions while remaining firmly within the bounds of Torah and Halacha. Do you have unanswered questions about Judaism, sexuality and intimacy? Do you want your children to get a better sex education than the one you receiv …
Marriage and the Traveling Spouse
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 11th, 2018

  Tamar and Avi are an American couple in their late thirties who made aliya to Israel two years ago with their four children.  They presented to couple therapy in distress. They reported that they argued frequently about their children, their in-laws, household tasks and money. Tamar said she felt that Avi took her for granted and had no idea what her life was like.  Avi complained, “We hardly ever have sex.” After a m …
Episode 66: Sexless Marriage: Why Doesn't He Want Me?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 17th, 2025

In this episode, we explore the many reasons men may avoid sexual intimacy. Challenging the myth of the “always-ready” husband, this episode explores the physical, psychological, relational, and religious factors that shape male sexuality. We discuss she impact of sexual guilt, shame, performance anxiety and trauma on sexual motivation and function, and offer guidelines for reconnection with compassion and understanding. Listen here …
Episode 65: Talking About Sex in School
Author:
December 17th, 2025

How can Jewish educators guide teens through questions about bodies, desire, and values without shame or fear? Talli and Scott sit down with Shuli Taubes to discuss why high school education about sex and sexual ethics matters, what healthy frameworks look like, and how schools can partner with parents to raise confident, thoughtful, and compassionate young adults. Listen here …
Episode 64:From Shame to Self: Navigating Sexuality After Leaving Orthodoxy
Author:
December 17th, 2025

Dr. Sara Glass, author of “Kissing Girls on Shabbat” was raised in the Hasidic community of Gur. Today, she is trauma therapist, identifies as queer, and though she is no longer religious herself, works with women along the religious and LGBTQ spectrum. We spoke to Sara about the risks and dangers of sexual experimentation when leaving religious life, and the complexities of integrating being gay and religious. Listen here …
Episode 62: Love on the Spectrum: Navigating Intimacy with a Neurodivergent Spouse
Author:
December 17th, 2025

If you are on the autism spectrum, or know or suspect your spouse may be, intimacy and communication may present challenges. In this episode, Talli and Rabbi Scott speak with Tzippora Price, an expert on neurodivergent couples, to learn more. They identify some of the behaviors associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder, as well as some challenges that may occur when one spouse is neurodivergent (and whether these problems can likely be avoided if …
Episode 59: Will I Marry the Wrong Person?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 18th, 2024

Will I Marry the Right Person? Exploring the Big Question Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, yet it often comes with uncertainty. In the latest episode of Intimate Judaism, hosts Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn tackle this profound and relatable question: Will I marry the right person? As they point out, there are no guarantees. Even with careful thought and preparation, the complexities of life and relationships …
How often should we be doing it?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 20th, 2018

I recently received the following question from a therapist:   “Is there a norm as to how often religious couples should engage in sex?  The question comes specifically from a woman who has reached menopause and is no longer a niddah. Husband wants often, she prefers less frequently, but wants to be a “good wife”.   My answer was as follows:   The standard answer to this question is that there is no dete …
In Sickness and in Health
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 22nd, 2016

  In the course of a couple’s lifecycle, medical conditions, chronic illnesses or diseases can become a reality for one or both partners. While medical practitioners offer guidance and treatment for the purpose of improving health and quality of life, questions regarding the effect of illness, medications and other treatments on sexual health and functioning often remain unaddressed.   The reasons for this are many, and include th …
Episode 46: Want, will, should or must: Is the sex you are having really consensual?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 23rd, 2022

  I want to, so yes. I want to want to, so yes. I don’t want to, but  I know I should, so yes I don’t want to, but must, so yes. I guess. Numerous sources in Jewish tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. The ideal consensual situation is enthusiastic consent with mutual desire. In reality  a woman’s desire for sex may be influenced by s …
Episode 28: Tzniut: Modesty, Female Masturbation and the Media
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 24th, 2020

Orthodox girls and women are traditionally taught to dress modestly in order to avoid attracting the male gaze and to keep men from sinful thoughts or behaviours. These messages, according to Rabanit Oriya Mevorach, an educator and doctoral student of Gender and Philosophy, objectify and sexualise women and girls, and are actually influenced by Western society’s sexuality discourse. Moreover, the effect of these messages present men as sexu …
Episode17: Let's Talk About Sexual Pleasure
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 26th, 2019

Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage?  Join Talli and Scott here for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions. …
Episode 52:Why Doesn’t My Wife Want to Have Sex With Me?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 5th, 2023

When there are desire discrepancies between couples, women are often identified as the partner with less sexual desire. Yet the experience of desire may be different for men and women, and the expectation that desire should be equally matched can create feelings of frustration and rejection. The right question may not be “Why doesn’t she want?” but rather, “What does she want and how does she want it?” In this episod …
Episode 8: Marital sex-advice from ministering angels?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 6th, 2018

  In the Talmud, (Nedarim 20a-b) Rabbi Yochanan Ben Dabai provides some advice about marital sex that he received from ministering angels. Children are born lame, he relates, because, the parents  "turned the table upside down" for intercourse. They are born mute because of kissing 'that place' (the genitals),  are born deaf because the parents spoke during intercourse, and are born blind due to the man looking at his wif …
Monologues from the Makom: A Review
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 6th, 2020

 I am honored to have been invited by Professor Brill to respond to his blog interview of some of the authors and editors of the recently published,  Monologues from the Makom: Intertwined Narratives of Sexuality, Gender, Body Image, and Jewish Identity  (Ben Yehuda Press, 2020) by Rivka Cohen, Sara Rozner Lawrence, Sarah Ricklan, Rebecca Zimilover, and Naima Hirsch.   I was aware of the book’s publication …
Episode 37: Reproductive Health, Birth Control and Halacha
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
December 8th, 2021

Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here in the first of a two-part series on reproductive health and …
Episode 10: When Taharat Hamishpacha Strains The Marriage
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 14th, 2019

Many people are taught that following Taharat HaMishpacha – the laws of family purity – keeps a marriage fresh, and adds passion to a couple’s sexual relationship. Often, this is true, but many times, it’s not. Some couples find that Taharat HaMishpacha adds a tremendous strain to their relationship. Are there solutions within Halacha? What should a couple in this situation do? Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn speak wi …
Episode 61: Did I Marry the Wrong Person?
Author:
February 14th, 2025

In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn blend Jewish wisdom with modern psychology to explore marital doubt, intimacy challenges, and when to stay or go. Tune in for practical insights on transforming even the most challenging relationships. …
Episode 54: Sex Positive Premarital Kallah Instruction
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 16th, 2024

  In many Orthodox communities, premarital sex education taught by Kallah teachers is limited to ensuring wedding night “success” and encouraging strict observance of Nidah laws in order to guarantee sexual satisfaction. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they interview two Kallah instructors, Dr. Hadassah Fromson and Dr. Yosefa Wruble,  discussing how they integrate discussions about sexual pleasure and satisfacti …
Episode 30: Fantasy, Premarital Sex, Kink and More: An Intimate Judaism Q and A Epidsode
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 17th, 2021

In Episode #30 of Intimate Judaism, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer practical sex questions from listeners. Among the subjects covered are: Can a couple experience sexual pleasure when intercourse is medically inadvisable?
Why must couples get the first time “over with” on the wedding night? (Or must they?)
Is it permissible to masturbate when your wife is a Niddah?
May women fantasize?
Does enjoying an …
Episode 29: Intimacy After Sexual Abuse
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 17th, 2021

Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of “relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment” can be terrifying. Rather than associate physi …
Episode 48: Is There a Modern Orthodox Shidduch Crisis?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 22nd, 2023

The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are definite differences between the way dating for marriage is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities. Recently, a research study was conducted to better understand and promote awareness regar …
Episode 47:Episode 47: Unmarried and Dating in Midlife: Navigating Intimacy and Sexuality
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 22nd, 2023

Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here in a discussion …
Episode 39: Straight FOMO, Hymen myths, Vasectomy Envy Q&A
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 8th, 2022

Straight FOMO, Hymenal Myths, Vasectomy Envy, Fetishes, BDSM and Mad at God: Listening to our Listeners Q&A n this month’s episode, we turn the mike over to you, our listeners, and answer a handful of the many questions you have sent in on email, Facebook and Instagram messenger. Listen to Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss what happens to queer women who don’t want to miss out on traditional marriage and sexual reproduc …
Episode 38: Reproductive Health, Birth Control and Halacha Part 2
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 8th, 2022

Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law.
In the second episode of our two-part series on reproductive health …
From Ima and Abba with love: ten marriage tips for our engaged child
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 9th, 2017

First appeared in The Eden Center blog Mazal tov! Your child is engaged and amidst the hustle and bustle of choosing gowns, wedding hall, flowers and caterer, you want to be able to talk to your son or daughter about the upcoming marriage – not just the wedding. If the topics of relationships, intimacy and sexuality have been part of the overall dialogue in your home, then speaking freely and openly with your children as they embark upon th …
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