This Blog Discusses Topics On Trauma, Attachment, Relationships, Grief, Healing, Hope And Connection. My Blogs Are Inspired By My Years Of Practicing Psychotherapy And My Ongoing Passion For Learning And Researching About The Human Mind And Its Profound Healing Capacities.
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Healing Anxiety, Alcohol Use and Grief with Psychotherapy a story about pain, coping, and the different parts of ourselves that try to help. “Hey Bernie, can you pass me the bottle of red wine” “Which one Jake?” Bernie asks. “I’ll take the merlot.” Jake replies ———Bernie looks at Jake and stares, trying to make eye contact. “Jake, look at me”, …
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Important note: not all people who gaslight are “bad”. Read disclaimer below for more. You Have a “Felt Sense” that Something is Not Quite Right… You've been spending time with someone who has a draw to them, they are compelling, funny and inviting. This may be someone you’ve known for years, someone you spend time with often or someone you get to see once in a while. Or, you may …
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Most people are familiar both with gaslighting and being gaslit in some way, but not everyone notices signs of it in their relationship until irreparable damage has been caused. Join me in this fictitious, yet revealing story about my client Jenny and her relationship experiences with Jhonny as she peels away the layers to find a slow and steady “gas leak” that had been keeping her feeling “off”, fuzzy, disoriented, sluggi …
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What Frozen Iguanas Teach Us About Trauma Healing I hope you're feeling warm on this winter day! I just got back from a brief trip to Florida and I've gotta say, it's not that much warmer there than it is here, in cold New Yawk! It was pretty darn cold down there. Yes, even with my fave pumpkin latte and blasting heat, it was far from "sunshine state" weather. We had a delightful weekend with family and we even got to visit …
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If we take the time to look deep into our inner world, we will likely notice a part (or inner child parts) of ourselves deeply craving connection. Healthy boundaries may not be innate for many of us. It can feel like learning a new language and requires a “felt sense.” When we approach boundary issues using somatic techniques we get to the very root of the issue, which actually works to support and strengthen cognit …
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He had a softness to his eyes. A gentle body language, almost too gentle. It’s like he blended into the room’s wallpaper and you wondered where he began and where he ended. But he wasn’t bothersome. quiet the opposite, he had a soothing presence. Almost an “awake” ness to him so that you can fall asleep, should you need to. But that was the deceiving bit. He was anything but safe.. Actually, he was quite dan …
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6 things I wish I knew about becoming a trauma therapist I was one of those bright eyed and bushy tailed therapists when I left graduate school. I was excited to take all the skills I had learned, to help people who were in pain, suffering, feeling confused and lost. You know, in my hope-filled bucket and deep desire to help, I was set on “saving the world”; or at least as many as I could help. Social work school definitely had …
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My hands trembled and my heart started beating quicker as the minutes grew closer… I wasn’t trembling because I was afraid to speak at the Links Grief Summit that evening. I don't have a fear of public speaking. My trembling was about feeling into the enormous pain of loss present in the communal heart of those engaging in the summit. In some shape or form, everyone who participated in this event had experienced the sting of loss - …
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PESACH: AN INTIMATE CONNECTION A Lesson On Intimacy and Relationships וַיִּשְׁמַ֥ע אֱלֹקים אֶת־נַאֲקָתָ֑ם וַיִּזְכֹּ֤ר אֱלֹקים֙ אֶת־בְּרִית֔וֹ אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֖ם אֶת־יִצְחָ֥ק וְאֶֽת־יַעֲקֹֽב ׃וַיַּ֥רְא אֱלֹקים אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וַיֵּ֖דַע אֱלֹקים׃ Hashem heard their cries, and …
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Pumpkin Spice and Parts Work My friend *Shani shows up at my door with a bowl of piping hot chicken soup. I have not been feeling well lately and she knows that a fragrant and nutrient rich bowl of her famous liquid gold will help me feel better. It’s incredible when a friend gets you that intimately. She knows just what I need. I realize immediately that something is not ok with her. Perhaps in the back of her mind she needs something from …
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Mothers Day and Being an Emotional Orphan in Long Island, New York Names and identifying features have been changed to protect the privacy of clients. This particular case is not about a specific client. Jenna’s story is quite common, and portrays a combination of many different people’s general experiences. Hi Jenna Can you see me alright? Yes Esther, I see you alright. Thank god we’re connecting now. I don’t know what …
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Hello Trauma Survivor, As we both know, you’re not a stranger to chaos, you’ve been through loss, fear, panic, dread and being on-edge for some or most of your life. With the recent pandemic, coronavirus, you realize the world is in a state of trauma. Yes, it is a trauma, and a valid one. You look around and you see the world panicking, freaking out, or some being in utter denial, and you roll your eyes inside. They just don't …
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“Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation.” ― David Whyte I don’t need to elaborate on how much the world has changed over the last few weeks... and therapy is just one of the many examples of the extent of it. Because achieving complete health is the ultimate goal of your therapist, you may find that the new COVID-19 reality is standing in the way of attending your cozy therapist’s office …
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Tackling Coronavirus Anxiety I feel like I’ve been dropped in a gum-ball machine, in a pile of colorful balls…I’m amused, but also somewhat shocked, confused, and wondering what just went wrong. Coronavirus. It’s spread. All over. And yes, to my own home town as well. We need to practice social distancing, and for many, self-quarantine. Oh Okay. Did the world not prepare for something like this, did the medical system …
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“It’s cold. It’s bitter bitter cold, Esther.” “I know, winter has been knocking at our doors for some time. You can feel the chill, can’t you?” I say. “No, Esther. I don't mean the weather. It's my heart. Its cold. It’s like I’m walking in Siberia... but I know I’m only walking down the most popular streets of town, wearing my fur trimmed coat and snuggly earmuffs. There is n …
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Common Curve-Balls for Mental Health Maintenance. December is known as a festive month, generally carrying with it lots of joy and holiday cheer. When you celebrate Chanukah, plan family get-togethers, attend holiday parties, food fests, and shopping sprees, they all contribute to the holiday season eventfulness - and overwhelmingness. For various reasons, you may not be feeling very sparkly this holiday season. “Joy to the wo …
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Relationships are what make the world go round. Our closest relationships are those that remind us of who we are, what we’re capable of and are there to show up through the ups and downs of it all. However, when you have anxiety, it can come in the way of you fully showing up and enjoying the positive attributes of the relationships in your life. Anxiety can hold you back from deepening relationships or even from branching out and making …
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“I’m exhausted. I may just not be cut out for this parenting thing. And I’m angry because I wanted to give my own family more than I ever got as a child, but I’m failing grandly”. Rebecca sobs as she shares her woes. Parenting has been a journey that has been burdened with shame, anxiety, insecurity and doubt from the get-go. “I’ve shared my struggle with many of my friends but they usu …
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"I've put my best foot forward in my life; in relationships, my career goals, in parenting and even in spiritual pursuits but I'm hitting a wall. Yes, I'm progressing externally, but if I'm honest, something on the inside ain't budging." John is a brutally honest fella who has been wanting to deepen his experience in life, love and work since his dad died but today, he's speaking openly about his struggle, and asking for help. As we worked toge …
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"Something is wrong with me, and I think I’m going crazy. I know my life wasn’t perfect, but suddenly I’m flooded with images I never knew existed and I can barely function. What’s wrong with me?” “I know I had trauma and/or anxiety, and I did some good talk therapy years ago, but suddenly it’s coming back with a whole new force,how do you explain this? And will it ever get better?” When cli …
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When you say the word anxiety, you probably just shrug your shoulder and think “we all have it, sometimes.” And, you’re right. Anxiety is a very normal part of life. Anxiety is a response to stress and as humans, we are programmed to respond to stressors to get things done; finish the project, make a big decision or go for that last minute errand run. However, “regular anxiety” comes and goes. Anxiety that creeps i …
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You’ve come to realize that you have some levels of anxiety. High, low, medium or moderate. It may be the tingling feeling on your skin, the “on-edge” sensation when faced with a new scenario or the underlying hum of discomfort when trying to resolve a dilemma or disagreement. The thoughts that spiral you into a puddle of doubt and keep you there for a while. “What’s wrong with me” you wonder? A quick search …
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Want to deepen your living experience with the current Holiday and Spring Break? Seasons, Holidays, Changes and Shifts. With every season of the year theres a newness, a rebirthing, a shifting. As well, with every season of our lives, there are changes. Tight spaces, wide spaces, new spaces and old spaces. There’s darkness, and light. Empty branches and then, blossoming flowers. And as we go into the holiday and/or spring break season, we …
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Is there a connection between Anxiety and Emotional Flashbacks? Yes, there is. When you experience emotional flashbacks, you will have higher levels of anxiety and feel on-edge more often. Want to understand what emotional flashbacks are, and what you can do to begin experiencing relief? Read below. Have you ever been in a situation where you are objectively doing fine but suddenly notice you’re feeling frightened, lonely, shamed or insec …
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Did you know that we communicate boundaries nonverbally in the way we carry our bodies? Our bodies hold beliefs that energetically let others know how they can or cannot interact with us. How does it happen? All our interactions {as well as past traumas} imprint a "template" of how we show up in all areas of life; in self care patterns, love relationships, work dynamics and family roles. How non-verbal boundaries + beliefs develop? Based on …
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“No one taught me what life is really all about. As a child I remember looking forward to being “grown up” to be independent and exploring, but here I am and it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be”. I look at Sondra, wanting to hear more. Her shoulders gently sag and there’s almost a tangible expression of sadness; a halo, lined with a tinge of disappointment. As she settles down onto the sofa …
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It’s mind-boggling. That’s what it is. Jackie settled down just minutes earlier. In her last year of residency, she’s often on the go. She throws her sweatshirt over her shoulders, stuffing her folded lab coat into her over-filled back pack. That was a long day, gosh. And although I’m tired, my mind is racing. But get this, there’s absolutely no reason for my mind to race. I actually flipped through the psychiat …
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Are you passing your anxiety on to your kids? We all want to pass the “good genes” on to our kids; patience, brains, wit, intelligence, social skills and passion for life. What if you struggle with anxiety and don’t want to pass it on? You can reduce your child's susceptibility to anxiety! By you working on your anxiety + practicing skills, you’ll reduce your family’s susceptibility to anxiety. Want to mak …
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“I’m just messed up. I know it in every single bone in my body. I don’t have any trauma and I wasn’t molested when I was younger. It’s called “messed up”, they should just add it to the DSM so I can finally have a clinical term to make myself feel better.” Alexandra has a vivacious energy, is wearing funky purple earrings and the coolest boots in NYC. She is engaging and easy to connect w …
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“All you need is love” “Relationships are the spaces where you feel loved, supported and understood” “Love yourself and you will be loved by others” Do these sentences make you squint and want to look the other way? It is common knowledge that we are all wired for connection. Love does truly make the world go round, but what does that mean when you’re not feeling the “love” or when connect …
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Have you ever felt physically ill due to stress or anxiety? Psychosomatic pain is when your emotional and mental stress begin making you physically sick. “Psychosomatic” explains the relation between mind and body. The term is a combination of Greek words psyche "mind" + somatic, from soma, which means "body". When meeting with a new client, I listen to their story by what they …
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