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Yated Ne'eman Q&A
Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Engagement Vs. Marriage
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I’m currently engaged, and baruch Hashem things seem to be going very well.At the same time, I hear people say that these days many don’t really understand what makes a marriage work, and that there are misconceptions that only become clear later on.
Everything feels good now, but I’m aware that engagement is not the same as real life. I’m trying to go in with open eyes and realistic expectations.
…
I'm an Anxious and Lonely Single
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I’m a single girl and trying to make the most of this stage of life, but it’s not always easy. There are times I feel fine and busy, and other times I feel anxious, lonely, or just stuck.I want to be able to live a full life now and not feel like I’m just waiting for the next stage. At the same time, it’s hard not to compare myself to others or feel left behind.What are some practical ways to live fully during singleho …
Inflexible Teen
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I teach 10th grade and have a student who is a sweet, good boy, but struggles with learning.
The challenge is that he is very inflexible. Once he makes up his mind, he will not change it, even when it is clearly not working. It is almost impossible to reason with him, and any attempt to talk it through turns into a shutdown or argument.
Is this part of his personality or his struggles? And how can I work with him without …
Therapy Commitment
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
When our daughter was in high school, the school strongly encouraged us to send her to therapy. This was due to her behavior but mostly because the school saw an anger in her that they were concerned about. We followed through and invested a lot of time and money, but she did not really take it seriously. When we were able to speak with the therapist at the time, we were told her commitment was not really there.
Now she is h …
Learning-Based Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I teach in a mesivta for boys who have struggled in the past. I have a talmid who is a good boy with real potential.He is always starting something big. He’ll decide he’s waking up at 5:00 a.m. to run, or taking on an intense learning schedule, or some ambitious new goal. It sounds impressive, but it never lasts. After a short time, he burns out and feels down, and then another big plan takes its place.I …
Inebriation-Based Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
Every year after Purim I find myself thinking the same thing. When I drink a little, I feel like my real personality comes out. I’m more relaxed, more open, funnier, more confident. I talk more easily and feel less in my head.
The next day, I always feel a little unsettled. Not because I did anything terrible, but because I wonder why I can’t be that way the rest of the year. Normally I’m more reserved and overthink ev …
Am I a People Pleaser?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I’ve always taken pride in being someone others can rely on. Lately, though, I find myself agreeing to things even when I don’t have the capacity and then scrambling or canceling later. How can someone who genuinely wants to help others learn to set clear, sustainable boundaries and say no earlier, without guilt or damaging relationships?

Response:
A key word in your question is “wants.” You say that you genu …
Countertransference
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I was recently researching therapists for someone with significant difficulties related to her mother. In the process, I came across the name of the mother of a childhood friend, which stood out because my friend had a very difficult relationship with her which led to serious issues. This raised some big questions for me. If a therapist has struggled profoundly in the very relational area they specialize in, how should th …
Is It Sympathy or Empathy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I used to be more emotional when hearing about hard things. I would say Tehillim, give tzedakah, and really feel what was going on.But lately, I feel like nothing gets through. I hear the stories, and of course I know it’s terrible, but I don’t feel it. I wind up pretending. Maybe there is too much going on, but it has become harder to care, and I don’t like how detached I have become.Is this anormal reaction, or does it …
My Son is Overweight
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
Our dear son, baruch Hashem, is married and the father of several young children. He is exemplary in every way.The only issue is that he is seriously overweight. As his mother, I’m concerned about his health and wellbeing.I don’t want to overstep or damage the beautiful relationship I have with him, which I truly cherish. But I am seriously concerned.What can I do?

Response:
As parents, we never stop worrying abo …
Marriage Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
I’ve always been an anxious person. Baruch Hashem, I recently got engaged. She is a good girl and on paper things make sense.There are things that make me uneasy, but I honestly can’t tell if they’re real concerns or just my anxiety talking. I feel like I pushed myself through the anxiety to get engaged, and now that things are more real, I’m back in that anxious mode again.How do I tell the difference betwee …
Parenting-Base Self-Esteem
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
All of our kids are married now, baruch Hashem. They’re settled, busy building their own homes. I am grateful for where they are holding. When they were younger, even when they were adults but still around, I still felt like part of their lives. They’d call about little things, ask my opinion, check in, come by more often. Lately I get the feeling I am not really needed anymore. Maybe I overstepped or maybe they just want …
Insensitive Relative
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 1st, 2026

Dear Therapist:
At a recent family simcha, I overheard a close relative say something about my son. They didn’t realize I was nearby, and they made a comment about how he is a sweet kid but a little off. My son is 8. He’s sensitive, thoughtful, and has his own way of seeing the world. But I’ve never seen it as a problem. Just part of who he is. I was hurt. I also I keep wondering if other people see him that way too? Is it possible …
Mixing In to My Son's Relationship
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My son is a great boy, kind, sincere, and easygoing. He recently got engaged, and baruch Hashem the kallah seems like an excellent girl.One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that he can be a little absent-minded. He forgets small things sometimes. But now that he’s engaged, I’ve seen a few moments where he forgot to follow up on something he told his kallah, or didn’t realize how something innocent mi …
I didn't Sign Up for This...Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My wife and I have been married five years, baruch Hashem, and we have two wonderful children. When we got engaged, her plan was to become a social worker, and she was also doing some photography on the side. That played a big part in how I understood her goals. Soon after the chasuna, she stopped college, and within a year she stopped photography too. She’s been working a part-time remote job since then, but now she’ …
Social Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My wife has close friends, and she isn’t shy. But I notice that she avoids big events. Simchos, Shabbos meals with new people, even shul. She will come up with an excuse not to go. She doesn’t say it’s anxiety, just that it’s “too much,” or that she’s not in the mood. She always has been like this to a degree, but it is getting worse recently.Is it possible to be a sociable person but still struggle with cer …
Chronic Fatigue
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I’ve been feeling really off physically for a long time, beyond regular tired. My whole body hurts some days, or just feels heavy, like I’m walking through water. I’ve seen doctors, done blood work, they always say nothing’s wrong or just say “maybe it's stress.”This isn’t just stress. I crash after normal things like taking the kids to the park or making Shabbos and it’s not normal tired. I also don’t look s …
Motor Tics, OCD, and Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Thank you for your informative and insightful column. I am reaching out for guidance regarding my 15-year-old daughter, who has been experiencing motor tics for several years. The tics have followed a fluctuating course, typically appearing for a period of time and then resolving for several months. There have been intervals of up to six months without any symptoms, followed by sudden recurrences, often in connection with iden …
My Wife Insists that I See a Therapist!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I am 54 years old, the owner of a successful business, and I give a nightly shiur. I grew up in a difficult home and developed OCD and anxiety before my bar mitzvah. In those days, there was no treatment for this. I married a wonderful girl, but our marriage was greatly impacted by my emotional problems. At my wife's insistence I made my rounds to many therapists, but my symptoms never went away. I fin …
Differing Martial Issue Resolution
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I’m someone who likes to talk things through when something’s bothering me—it helps me process and feel closer. But my husband just goes quiet, moves on quickly, or just says “it’s fine.” He’s not cold or mean, he just doesn’t really do the whole talking-about-feelings thing.I’m trying not to push, but I also sometimes feel alone and that things are unresolved. Is this a normal difference in personality, or s …
Childhood Fears
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I’m writing about my 6-year-old son, who started his second year of school. He’s usually a happy, easygoing kid, and last year went well overall.But since school started, he’s been refusing to go in the mornings and sharing strange fears—like the bus getting lost, getting in trouble, or even the police showing up. When he gets anxious, he becomes really upset and hard to calm down. He also seems to misinterpret things …
Self-Esteem and Comparison
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I’ve been feeling something lately that I’m not even sure how to put into words. I have a sibling who I’m close with, and I do care about them a lot. But when I hear about all the good things going on in their life — whether it's their job, their social life, or how smoothly everything seems to go, I sometimes walk away from our conversations feeling frustrated or not good enough.I don’t want to feel this way, and I …
Marriage Ambivalence
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I got married recently, baruch Hashem, and overall things are good. My wife and I get along well, I’m happy to be building a life with her, and I’m grateful for what I have. But at the same time, I’ve been feeling stuck lately.Before marriage, I felt like I was really growing—in learning, in personal development, in self-awareness. I had space to think, dream, and work on myself. Particularly, when I was in Y …
Teaching Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
I am a girl that has been teaching for a few years now. Before I go into the classroom, I often feel symptoms of anxiety. It usually starts before I even leave for work and continues until I’m actually in the classroom. Once I’m there, the anxiety lessens, but it doesn’t go away completely.Now that it’s summer break, I’m barely feeling any anxiety at all. But when I think about going back to work, I still feel that fa …
Therapy and Language Challenges
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
November 26th, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My son is in his early teens and has been struggling emotionally for a while now. We’re considering therapy to help with his anxiety and frustration, but there’s an added complication—he also has a language delay and has trouble expressing himself clearly, especially when it comes to his emotions.He’s intelligent and very sensitive, but when something’s bothering him, he often can’t find the words to explain it. I …
Friends vs. Relatives
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I’ve always felt more myself around my friends than with family. With friends, I feel understood and comfortable. With family, it’s more tense—I feel judged or like I have to be careful.
Recently, I chose to go to a close friend’s simcha instead of a family event, and my family was really upset. They said I was choosing friends over family, and maybe I was. But the truth is, I often feel more emotionally connected to my …
Overthinking...or Just Thinking?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I’ve always been the type to think a lot—about people, situations, conversations, and about “life” in general. Sometimes I pick up on things others don’t, and I think that’s a strength. But it also makes me anxious and depressed. I also tend to be a little cynical. I replay things in my head, overanalyze, and sometimes get sad and discouraged when I look at what is going on around me.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m jus …
Anxiety and Stuttering
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: As the parent of a smart, kind, and good-hearted son who is about to enter shidduchim, I’ve started to feel concerned about something I’ve noticed for a while.When he’s under stress or feeling anxious, especially when things are emotionally charged—he either stutters a lot or has a hard time communicating clearly. He often shuts down, and it takes time and effort to coax out what’s really going on. It’s not that he doe …
My Husband Wants Out--Until the Baby Turns Twelve?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: We recently had our first baby, and while baruch Hashem everything went smoothly, it’s definitely been an adjustment. Right now, we’re staying at my parents’ house for a little extra support, which has helped a lot.
Lately, my husband mentioned that he’s thinking about sleeping at our apartment some nights so he can get better rest. He says it would help him function better during the day and be more present. I understa …
Picky Eater
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: My son is in 11th grade, and he’s always been a picky eater—but it hasn’t improved with age. He does eat regularly and while he is skinny is basically a normal weight, so it’s not about body image or restricting food. But his diet is extremely limited: a few specific foods, no variety, and no interest in trying anything new.It makes supper, and Shabbos meals hard. He won’t eat at other people’s homes and sometimes skip …
My Israel Disappointment
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I was supposed to go to Eretz Yisroel this summer—something I earned as a reward and that I have been looking forward to for a long time. But with the current situation, the trip was cancelled, and even though I completely understand why, I’m having a very hard time dealing with it.I feel disappointed, frustrated, and even a little embarrassed, like I was all ready for something that just got taken away. It isn’t the fi …
My Son's Unhappiness
Author:
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Our son had a rough few years—emotionally, socially, and in his yiddishkeit. Over the past 2 years in yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel there was a real turnaround. He connected with his rebbeim, grew in his learning, and seemed more stable and happier overall. We were so grateful to see him in a better place.
He came home for Pesach and has been back since, and little by little, we’re seeing some of the old patte …
Obsessive Thinking
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Lately I’ve been noticing how much pressure I put on myself to do things right. Even small things, like cooking for Shabbos or writing a thank-you note, start to feel stressful—like there’s one correct way to do it, and if I don’t get it perfect, it reflects badly on me. I end up procrastinating or overthinking things that really shouldn’t be so complicated.
People probably see me as responsible and on t …
Is My Relationship Too Intense?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful column.
I’m curious about how to understand the difference between a close, meaningful friendship and one that may be overly dependent or emotionally intense. In close relationships, it’s natural to want to spend time together and share thoughts and experiences—but is there a point where that closeness becomes unhealthy?
What are some signs that an attachment to a friend …
To Medicate or Not To Medicate?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
What is your opinion on taking medication for anxiety? I’ve tried quite a few therapists over the years, but it didn’t really help. Recently, my mother brought up the idea of taking medication, but I feel weird about it.
I’ve been going to therapy privately, and I’m pretty sure other people my age do too. But taking pills feels like a different level—like something more serious.
What’s your take on using medi …
Tough Love or Enough Love
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist: B”H Hashem has blessed us with many wonderful grandchildren. The other blessing is that they enjoy spending time with us.My husband is a caring, generous, loving, and devoted grandfather.
He often criticizes the teenage boys. Although they take it in good stride it bothers me very much. I feel he should be complimenting them much more. Every teenage boy needs chizuk and that should be our main goal. My husband says …
My Husband's Therapy is Making Me Insecure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My husband recently started going to therapy, and I can see that it’s been good for him. He seems calmer and more focused, and I know he’s working on himself. I really do want to be supportive and I’m glad it’s helping him—but at the same time, it leaves me a bit lost.
He’s thinking differently, approaching things in new ways, and meanwhile I feel like I’m still in the same place. It’s not that I’m against …
You're Better Than Me!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist: Over Yom Tov, I was by a few different families, and I found myself constantly comparing myself to them. One family had such a calm atmosphere, another had a beautiful home, and everyone just seemed so confident, happy, and “put together.” I couldn’t help but compare it to my own life—and walk away feeling like I’m behind, or like I’m not enough. I am not sure if it's just me but I definitely have a tendency to do …
Why Do I Get Angry?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 4th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I’ve always struggled with my temper. Lately I’ve been realizing that it’s not always about how bad a situation is, but more about things not going the way I expected or planned. I’m starting to wonder if my anger has more to do with being rigid—like I just have a really hard time when things don’t go the way I think they should. Is that a common root of anger issues? Is that what I should …
Is Therapy Still Stigmatized?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 4th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I recently started therapy, and I can honestly say it’s been something I really need—it’s helping. But even though people say the stigma around therapy is fading, I still feel like many of my friends don’t really understand it. I could never imagine telling them I’m in therapy. Not long ago, one of my friends made a joke about people who go to therapy, and it really stung. I didn’t feel like I c …
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