Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

November 10th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and shira In response to “flawed Flatbush” and “flooded in Flatbush” , I would like to share my story . I am a mother with 4 sons and 2 daughters. The boys were super easy to marry off and I would say of  average intelligence and average in looks . My daughters who are also average have been in the shidduch system for many years. The experience for my girls has been completely the opposite of what is was li …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

November 3rd, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, I am responding to the lovely girl who was upset that she was not getting any dates due to the mother’s of the boys who rejected her. She was upset that the mothers go through the resumes looking for the best girls for their sons. I want to know what is so wrong with that? Baruch Hashem my son is flooded with resumes and so why shouldn’t I look for the best girl for him? If you would like to argue that my son isn …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

October 28th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira  I am so frustrated with the shidduch system . Why are the guy’s moms in charge of who I marry?  Every time I am redt to someone, it always has to go through the guy’s mother. The mothers are constantly saying no. Either I’m not frum enough, even though the guy is modern but mom still wants a certain type of girl, I’m not pretty enough even though the guy is not great looking, or I’m no …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

September 15th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, I am dating a guy who wants to be a rabbi. He’s a smart individual with sterling middis and a big heart.  At the beginning of our relationship, I thought the concept  of dating a future rabbi would be great. I love the idea of an open home and taking care of people. By nature I am a very nurturing and loving person . Now that we are entering the next  stage, the engagement talks , my parents are opening …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

August 5th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, I made it to the finish line. When I reached the age of 19 I hit the ground running, looking for a partner to share my life with. I went to shadchanim, social events, web-sites, you name it, I did it. I always kept my eye on the prize, which was getting married and building a beautiful bayis neeman biyisrael. By the time I was 22, I crossed the finish line. I had a glittering ring on my finger and a wonderful husband to go w …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

August 5th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, Hi! I was wondering if you could help me with this issue. I am engaged to a wonderful girl I met over a year ago. Everything was going very smoothly until the engagement. Our parents have very different views on how to make a Covid wedding. My  who are influential people in the community want an upscale wedding with over 200 guests. I am their only son and they have waited a long time to see me walk down the aisle. Her …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

July 1st, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, I’m dating a really great girl. We started right before Covid- 19 and Baruch Hashem have continued to date despite the challenges that social distancing presented. Things are finally calming down and we are now dating in person more regularly. The problem is my family goes to the bungalows each summer and I usually spend my summer upstate with them. I would consider staying in Brooklyn where she lives but I have a job …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

June 17th, 2020

Dear MKL, We are sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. This year has been a difficult one, with so many
mahapeichot- shake ups occurring in our lives. So many things which we previously took for granted are no longer present. We begin to wonder, “what will be with me and my future?” When the foundations are shaken, it upsets the balance of our lives. You had assumed, “If I follow the game plan, then I’ll ge …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

June 10th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira  Hi, I’m engaged to a great girl. We are getting married at the beginning of July and there are a lot of decisions to make. The problem is every time our discussions become too intense, she shuts down and gives me the “Silent treatment.” This ends the discussion, and nothing is resolved.  It is obviously very frustrating.  As our wedding is really soon, we really need to come up with an act …
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Author: Reuven Boshnack, Rabbi

May 6th, 2020

Dear Rabbi and Shira, Thank you so much for your column. I enjoy reading your advice each week. Due to Covid- 19, we both lost our jobs and with little savings we were forced to move into my parents’ home. While it is nice for them to take us in, we have one big issue. I do not get along with my mom. She is bossy, manipulative and constantly puts me down. I am just not sure how much longer I can handle this situation.  With nowhere to …
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