Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

June 27th, 2021

  A few years ago, I got a call from a mother, distraught over something that was happening at her kids’ school. Her 12 year old daughter was in avelus, and the school had told her that she needed to wait in the office, while her grade practiced for a music and dance performance. The girl felt like she was being punished for being in mourning and was devastated. The mom asked me to call the school and speak with them. I called the scho …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

June 4th, 2021

It's the very first mitzvah in the Torah. And for some, it's very straightforward: Get married, start a family, don't stop until your body does. But for those who believe in the option to practice birth control, whether autonomously or in consultation with a posek, important questions arise:   How do you decide when to start trying for a baby?       How many kids should we have?       When do we stop having ki …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

April 30th, 2021

Were you taught to believe that “divorce” is a curse word? That we don’t even say the “d” word?   When I was a young, idealistic grad school student, a professor told us: “We are not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the business of helping people.”   At the time, I (arrogantly) thought: “Well, maybe those are your values. I want to save marriages.”   I stil …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

April 15th, 2021

Every so often, I meet a colleague who offers the opportunity to collaborate in a way that aligns perfectly with my own mission and values. Blimie Heller, and her beautiful approach, Unconditional Parenting, is one such colleague. In this conversation, we tackle the vital topic of child sexual safety education in a way that is practical, culturally sensitive, and easily applicable to most families. Enjoy this free video resource: https://www.inst …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

March 25th, 2021

How a Chacham Becomes a Rasha: Some Thoughts about Questions   A few years ago, I was speaking with a high school student who was struggling with her faith. She told me that she’d learned some material in her Halacha class that upset her. When she shared it with me, I had to admit that I’d never heard of it before, and encouraged her to ask her teacher for sources, so she could at least research and try to understand the basis fo …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

March 17th, 2021

Trigger Warning: This post contains sensitive content about child sexual abuse.   *Like all vignettes featured in this blog, it reflects not one specific true story, but a disguised amalgam of too many. It changes any potentially identifying information but preserves clinically relevant details.*   “I know this might sound strange. But we were kids. We were pretty sheltered- no TV or internet in our house, hardly any newspa …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

March 9th, 2021

Some men say it with embarrassment, others with indignation or frustration, and still others in defeat: “I’m not trying to be demanding or controlling. But I really wish my wife would dress up for me once in a while. When we go out, in our bedroom, or just the way she presents herself in general. It’s not that I don’t think she’s naturally pretty- she really is and I tell her so. But I know a lot of women …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

January 27th, 2021

What do you call something that's not exactly therapy, not exactly a course, not exactly a support group, but kind of has elements of all three?

This isn't a joke with a punchline. I don't actually know what you call it, but I think I'm starting one anyway. Here's the truth about what's been going on: The last few months, I've been fielding more messages and calls than I can responsibly handle in the way of questions, new clients and …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

January 14th, 2021

  Confronting the Less Popular Sexual Sins: A Shovavim Plea   Sexual sins are possibly the most interesting of sins. There are few transgressions more titillating, more shamed, and more taboo than those having to do with succumbing to desires of the flesh. During this time of the Jewish calendar, some communities have a custom to focus on atoning for sins in the realm of sexual immorality. Some examples I’ve heard are reviewing th …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

December 10th, 2020

*Trigger warning: This post touches on the topic of sexual trauma. Proceed with caution.* “I was taught that my husband’s purity and holiness are basically my responsibility. As long as we can ‘be together,’ that saves him from sin. And if we’re not, then I’m guilty,” she explains tearfully. “It feels like my job as a wife to be there for him that way.” His facial expression implies that his i …
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