Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

November 28th, 2020

At the root of so many people’s questions, doubts, insecurities and fears, lies this niggling question:   Am I normal?   And it shows up in a variety of permutations:   Is this normal?   My history?   My family?   My thoughts, feelings, relationships?   And buried even deeper than that for many is the alternative:   “Am I abnormal? Dysfunctional? Crazy?&r …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

October 18th, 2020

Couples therapy is intense work. Back in grad school, I had a professor say: “We’re not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the business of helping people.” At the time, I was young, arrogant, and naively idealistic, and I thought: “Well, I’m hoping to save marriages.” After years on the job, I’ve learned that he was right. While thankfully, most of the time, we do help clients save their …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

October 16th, 2020

When my oldest was two years old, he attended a half day playgroup. One day, while walking him to “school” he told me that he was having “two feelings.” “One feeling is I’m sad that I’m not gonna have my mommy while I’m in school. And the other feeling is that I’m happy when I play with my friends.” I was blown away by his innocent, honest ability to express what even I, as an adult, hav …
1 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

October 8th, 2020

What’s the point of life? People actually google this; we are so desperately seeking meaning and truth. (Sometimes. Sometimes we seek ice cream and area rugs.) The book of Ecclesiastes, Koheleth, which we have the practice to read during the Sukkoth holiday, chronicles how King Solomon, Shlomo, grappled with this question. A running theme of the book is the phrase: “hakol hevel”- all is ‘hevel.’ But what is “he …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

October 7th, 2020

The more I know, the less I know. Do you relate to this? I sometimes look back at words I wrote with such conviction when I was younger, and realize now that either I no longer agree with my hot-headed earlier self, or I see the issue with more complexity and nuance. Age, in many ways, sharpens my perspectives while softening my rough edges. The Torah describes how in the desert, G-d led the Jews with a pillar of fire at night, and a pillar of cl …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

September 30th, 2020

Hi:) It looks like we're going to have the quietest Sukkos we've ever had, here in the Liss house; hoping that next year we can safely host extended family as we usually do. But for those who might be getting together with relatives, kosher.com invited me to write this piece pre-empting some of the common issues that arise during this busy chagim get-togethers, so I wanted to share it here as well: https://www.kosher.com/lifestyle/10-tips-for-sur …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

September 17th, 2020

“Every year, I struggle with this, when the Yomim Nora’im come around. I want G-d to forgive my misdeeds, so I need to forgive others. And I really try to. If someone owes me money or hurt my feelings, I can really let it go. I’m not a spiteful person; I don’t’ have enemies. But there’s this one thing. My daughter’s teacher in high school- a Rabbi, by title, said and did awful things- not just to her. We …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

September 14th, 2020

Dear _____,   Well, it’s been quite a year. At this time, we have a custom to take interpersonal stock and make amends. Thank you for entrusting me with your thoughts, feelings, and goals. It’s a privilege to work with you. I believe and hope we are accomplishing. Going to therapy involves courage and vulnerability, and I try to honor that, and treat it with care. But I’m a fallible human, and I need to apologize- for the t …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

September 9th, 2020

It’s September/ Elul, and children everywhere are yanking out their uniforms, knapsacks, paperwork, and supplies, packing up lunches and snacks, and getting ready to rejoin the classroom scene. Hustling out to the bus stop, or listening out for the carpool honk, or hopping on bikes, rushing to be on time for the morning bell. “Bye! Love you- have a great day; learn well!” (One of my favorite aspects of homeschooling is no longer …
0 comments

Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

August 31st, 2020

For those of you who have been reading this blog for a while, you may have noticed that while I occasionally share examples from my own experiences, there is very little here about the personal details of my life. Part of the professional training that we undergo as part of our education, is the importance of boundaries. In a therapy session, the dialogue is supposed to be focused solely on the client and for the client. Any self-disclosure on th …
0 comments