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Zahavah's column
Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
Click here to view my clinical profile
Every day life can be tough. I will be posting on different topics to help you through your days. Who can't use a little extra direction?
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Showing Results 1 - 10 (30 total)
Eyes All Over
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
October 8th, 2017
I am happy to announce my NEW LOCATION in FLATBUSH. I want to hide. Weddings. I want to skip the wedding. I don't want anyone looking at me as I enter the room. I want to disappear as everyone dances. Holidays. Everyone will look at my clothing and judge me. If I go pray, they will stare at me the whole time. I don't know what they really think. Social scenes. I cannot speak for fear they will think I am stupid. What if I become flustered. …
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Is that me in the mirror?
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
July 24th, 2017
Seeing bulges of fat all over. Avoiding mirrors at all costs. Skipping social events because you are not satisfied with your appearance. Recently, there has been more of a trend to use “plus size models” which in actuality is the size of the average American. Society has been led by Hollywood, setting many trends and dictating the way we should dress and look. If you take a closer look at the famous people who many idolize, you will s …
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Winning by Losing
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
May 28th, 2017
This is a follow up to “One Recipe to Sabotage Relationships.” There is a time and place for everything. There is also a proper way to go about it. By committing to a relationship, you are agreeing to the former. When there is a disagreement, you will usually get past it. What remains with you and becomes a part of the relationship is how you communicated during that time. Words do not heal just because the issue was resolved. Childho …
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One Recipe to Sabotage Relationships
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
March 26th, 2017
If you are in a committed relationship with someone, do you forget you need to work on it continuously? Are you aware that some behaviors are not okay? Even when feeling upset at someone or frustrated at a situation, you still need to be respectful towards others. Do you insult your partner or threaten them, force them to do what you want because they are scared or don’t want to deal with your reaction? It is easy to rationalize any of thes …
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Resolutions that last
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
December 27th, 2016
FAILURE!! Do you often hear your brain yelling that awful word? This is where perception is so important. Every so-called failure can be turned into a success. If something negative could be used to help you move forward, is that actually something that we want to avoid it? There were so many successes over time that only came about because of effort. But only because they had a positive perspective and they were able to turn the "failure" into s …
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Lonely with Others
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
November 19th, 2016
Lonely with others Nobody likes to be alone. Unless they have experiences that puts them in that direction. There's different kinds of being alone. Sometimes we tend to think that if somebody has a lot of friends they are not lonely but it's not necessarily the case. There are people out there who you would never guess are lonely and you may be one of them.

Spending quality time by yourself is a good thing. Spending most of your time a …
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Sorry Is Not Easy
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
October 29th, 2016
Recently, a day of asking for forgiveness passed. During that time, many made public appeals for everyone to forgive them if they wronged them and vice versa. Is the apology valid?

Why wait until a specific day to ask for forgiveness if you mistreated someone? How many days passed between that day and the day to ask for forgiveness? How would you feel if someone came over after 5 months of wrongdoing knowing that they were motivated …
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What if it was you?
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
October 2nd, 2016
I am taken aback every time I see video clips that are "funny" because others hurt themselves. What is funny about someone crashing through a glass door, falling off a trampoline or getting laughed at for a mistake they made? Is humor funny if it is at someone else's expense? I try imagining how embarrassed they will be when they realize they are the latest social media joke. How do you tell someone that the world really has not been laughing at …
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Trouble making decisions?
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
September 13th, 2016
Choosing what to wear, deciding what to order from a restaurant and debating how to address an issue with someone could be difficult. Why is it so easy for others and not you? It doesn’t seem fair, but that in itself won’t change it. Let’s try to understand where it could come from. In order to need to make a decision you need something important. It is called trust. You need to trust yourself. You need to trust you will make th …
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The Reality of Escaping
Author: Zahavah Selinger-Fishfeld, LMHC
August 29th, 2016
We often hear about abusive situations that are obvious. Someone has a black eye that never seems to go away. Someone covers their body as much as possible even when appropriate to wear less clothing. That is physical abuse. There are other kinds of abuse that play with our psyche. There are other kinds of abuse that can be harmful too. Emotional abuse, being neglected or abandoned, holding finances over someone as well as sexual abuse that does …
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Tags: abuse, bruise, confidence, support