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Judaism is a religion of second changes. In Parshat Beha’alotcha, we encounter a remarkable story of having a second chance, the story of Pesach Sheni. This special holiday was instituted for those who had a setback leading to impurity making them unable to bring the Pesach offering. To have a comeback, you first need a setback. Pesach Sheni offers a profound lesson interwoven with the psychological concept of second changes.
The Parsha tells us about people who approached Moshe Rabeynu indicating feeling left out from the Pesach offering due to becoming impure. Moshe Rabeynu informs them that he will seek instructions from Hashem about what to do next, in which Hashem then provides in detail all the laws of Pesach Sheni. The Sefer HaChinukh explains that this mitzvah was not only for those who were unable to perform Peach due to inadvertence or duress but also those who by volition did not offer it the first time.
Psychologically, the concept of a second chance speaks to the fundamental human need for forgiveness and renewal. It acknowledges that making mistakes is a part of the human experience and emphasizes the potential for growth and improvement. Life gives us many second chances, but how often do we take them. Second chances are not given to make things right, rather given to prove that we could be better even after we fall.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth describes that a person who perseveres despite mistakes and makes the best of their second chance embodies the quality of grit, which is a key predictor of long term success. Pesach Sheni teaches us about the power of resilience and determination. Those who missed the opportunity to bring the Passover offering could have easily succumbed to despair or resignation. However, the provision of Pesach Sheni empowered them to persevere and seize the opportunity for redemption. Similarly, in our lives, setbacks and failures are inevitable, but it is our response to these challenges that defines our character. By embracing the concept of second chances, we cultivate resilience and fortitude, enabling us to overcome obstacles and strive for personal growth.
Here are three tips for making the most of a second chance:
- Reflect and Learn: Take time to reflect on what led to the need for a second chance. Identify areas where improvement is needed and learn from past mistakes. Use this reflection as a guide for making better choices and decisions moving forward.
- Set Clear Goals: Define specific and achievable goals that align with your desired outcome. Whether it's personal growth, professional development, or repairing relationships, having clear goals will help you stay focused and motivated on the path to redemption.
- Stay Persistent and Patient: Embrace the journey of self-improvement with patience and persistence. Understand that change takes time and setbacks may occur along the way. Stay committed to your goals, stay resilient in the face of challenges, and keep moving forward, one step at a time
Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch said that Pesach Sheni means that it’s never a ‘lost cause.’ Therefore Pesach Sheni is the time to reroute our focus towards our purpose. Author C.S. Lewis writes “"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." We are not defined by our most recent setbacks and past, we can be prepared by them for the future. Pesach Sheni, the holiday of second chances, reminds us that we can always change direction and grow.
One additional point of note: Completing a Dvar Torah on this Parsha completes my cycle of writing for the entire Sefer Torah. Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski wrote, “In spirituality, the searching is the finding and the pursuit is the achievement.” This process has humbly sharpened my clinical knowledge but more so increased my love for the Torah and all our wonderful religious teachings. Lastly, this also speaks to the psychological concept of marginal gains which emphasizes that small, consistent improvements can accumulate over time to produce significant positive outcomes. As a Spanish proverb says "Little by little one travels far." This is not the end but rather a reinvigorating time to continue my learning. Thank you for taking and continuing the journey with me!
Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, weekly blog. He lives in Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and three children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.