The Iran deal is by now signed and delivered. But through the time the deal was being negotiated, and later debated in Congress, one thought rang clear in my mind: we are enabling Iran’s bad behavior.

Enabling is a term often used with family and friends of addicts, who can unwittingly facilitate an addict’s harmful behavior. Enabling can look like supplying cash, living space, transportation, but it can also be looking the other way - explicitly or implicitly condoning harmful behavior.

In my work with families of addicts, family members in treatment come to terms with their own behaviors. Coming to realize that they may have unwittingly enabled some addictive behaviors is a tough realization for most. It is also the beginning of their recovery. 

The “3 C’s” of Al-Anon (you didn’t Cause it, you can’t Control it, you can’t Cure it) can help the family and friends of an addict focus their efforts. There's so much that we can’t change. But there is much that we can.

This soul searching often comes with painful realizations. But it is the only way to begin supporting an addict.

Back to Iran. Iran is a bad actor, a manipulative regime which will say what it needs to say to get aid and get the world off its back. In its modus operandi, Iran is a lot like an addict.  

Now, comparing addiction to Iran is unfair to addicts. The government of Iran is an evil, totalitarian regime, and addiction is probably a form of mental illness. But if we can separate the person from the illness, we can make a good beginning.

Treat the addict as a human being to be loved, supported and accepted, and treat the addiction as we should Iran: cut off all aid and support. Let them experience the consequences of their behavior, and let that propel them to change.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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