“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” - Neale Donald Walsch

A psychotherapist is in the business of growth, change, and healing. I would say that’s important stuff (but then again, I’m biased). Here’s a basic question for those providers and consumers involved in the business of change.

What are the ingredients that lead to positive change? What are growth’s prerequisites?

I’m thinking now of healthy risk-taking, one ingredient of the necessary many. Is there such a thing as a healthy risk? The very term seems oxymoronic. A risk, by definition, sounds like something that may be dangerous.

Risk is “the possibility that something bad or unpleasant will happen,” and risk-taking certainly opens us up to that possibility. We take risks, however, because we also open ourselves up to the possibility of good.

A healthy risk might be getting up on a stage, asking someone out, or stepping into a therapist’s office. Or how about sharing your feelings honestly, setting a boundary, or asking the waiter to re-cook your steak?

Think about your comfort zone. It is, literally, the range of things that you feel comfortable doing or experiencing. Is your comfort zone large or small? The way to enlarge your comfort zone is to step outside of it. Think about that process for a minute.

Another thing to remember is that healthy risk-taking is not about the results of your actions. If you get up on stage and stutter through your speech, or ask someone out and get turned down (or write a blog post and no one likes it!), that is not a failure. It was a healthy risk to put yourself out there, no matter the result. Take the phrases “That was stupid,” or “I shouldn’t have done that”, or even “That was a waste of time!” out of your vocabulary.

Healthy risk-taking helps us do those things that open ourselves up to hope, to possibility, to new experiences, and yes - even to the possibility of the unpleasant. It takes courage to live on the edge of your comfort zone. But these are the circumstances under which we can choose to live: comfort and stagnation, or a whirly mix of wonder and fear.

The above quote from Neale Donald Walsch sits framed in my office, a reminder that growth is uncomfortable as well as wonderful. Here’s the full quote:

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending.” - Neale Donald Walsch

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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