Someone sent me a quote recently - one of those nice pictures overlaid with a pithy phrase. It read, “When you feel alone, it is a sign that God wants to be alone with you.”

When working with addicts and their families, I often note the negative impact of isolation and loneliness. Addiction is a lonely disease. Addicts suffer in silence, and families may not know where to turn. Thinking that no one will understand, the affected party turns away from potential support and comfort.

And so a large part of early treatment is creating support, reengaging in that support network, or building support from scratch if necessary.

But is being alone always a bad thing?

Jewish thought has long spoken of the concept of being “alone with God” - hisbodedus (or hitbodedut). This is a time for quiet prayer and reflection, a time for the Jew to connect to God, to be alone with the Alone One.

So it is not the state of being alone that is problematic. It is the mindset with which one is alone.

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar:
I love not Man the less, but Nature more.
- George Gordon Byron

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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