Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the liability of an owner who left an animal secured in a corral, but also in intense heat. Though the wall of the corral was sturdy, and therefore it was highly improbable that the animal should break out, and even if it did so in an unusual manner such as digging under the wall, we hold the owner liable for the damage the animal caused after it escaped. This ruling is despite the standard position of the Gemara that an owner is not required to safeguard against unusual circumstances. This is because given the distress the animal felt from the heat, despite it seeming impossible, the owner should have known that the animal WILL find a way to escape. Thus, under the certain circumstances, the unusual and impossible should have been expected. The raw animal will to survive can overcome many barriers. 

It is a bad idea to push against survival instincts. Humans too have raw instincts and some of the most basic ones are about a sense of power and control. While children need discipline and consequences, there has to be a recognition of age-appropriate need for control and power. If a parent is too domineering, parenting gets reduced to a power struggle. In such situations, winning is losing. If you succeed in compelling your child to obey, it can come at the cost of killing off independence and competency. And if your child feels cornered, he might fight back for control by all means necessary, just as a cornered animal will escape by all means necessary.

The Gemara (Moed Kattan 17a) warns that one may not hit his older son, as this is a violation of lifnei iver (causing another to sin). That is, it is too much of a provocation for the child and likely that he would hit back, causing him to commit a grave sin. The age of this “older son” is not agreed upon. Shulkhan Arukh, (Rama YD 240:20) rules that this age is 22-24. But the Ritva says there is no set age. Rather it is dependent on the child’s nature, and when he would be likely to react with hostility. Rav Wolbe (Zeriyah Ubinyan Bechinuch, page 23) states further that in modern times this might preclude a child of any age, given that even a young child is less likely to accept harsh rebuke meekly and humbly. Rav Yaakov Yechiel Weinberg (Shu”t Seridei Eish II:49) advises that this is not limited to physical aggression, but also includes any counterproductive harshness that is likely to inspire rebellion instead of internalization, thus even inappropriately harsh attitude could violate Lifnei Iver as well..

I will conclude with one final powerful point about the limits of human nature and a deep need to push back, even when rebellion and resistance is useless. The Gemara (Bava Basra 16b) notices that even though Iyov spoke angrily at God, ironically, God had complaints at the way his friends spoke who were seemingly more righteous and spoke in defense of God, but took no issue with Iyov. Rava said, “From here we see that a man is not held responsible for what he utters in pain.” Even God understands and forgives a rebellious reaction in the face of a sudden loss. As parents and authority figures, we must keep in mind that sometimes the animal within will be too sorely tempted to fight its way out and employ judgment, compassion and a degree of humility when we discipline.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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