Man is a creature at war with himself. Your heart wants one thing, your mind tells you you should want something else. What are we to do and stay sane? 

The Gemara discusses the halakhic concept of Piv V’lebo Shavim, the requirement that certain declarations are only valid if the intention and the words correspond. For example, if one declares something to be Teruma but meant to say maaser. 

Notwithstanding the lomdus and halakha, I would like to discuss the ethics and psychology of correspondence between the heart and the words we use. The greatest psychic pain and practical dysfunctions in life stem from an inability to harmonize the internal needs and wishes with the external demands and realities. A man cannot control his anger because he cannot accept the many truths about the world that he cannot control. A person becomes depressed not because he is hopeless but because he feels hopeless. He has decided what the Universe is supposed to give him, but hasn’t actually asked the Universe’s opinion or if it has agreed to the deal.

The Yaaros Devash (I derush 3:3) speaks of the importance of consonance with self and with community in order to achieve consonance with G-d.  He therefore explains the vital need for sholom in order for prayers to be accepted. This is not merely a z’chus or merit that aids prayer. Rather it is a necessary condition in order to achieve a union between heart and mind in order to lead to a mirroring effect, a unity of the lower realm with the upper realm. 

We do say in our daily prayers, one should always speak truth in his heart, dover emes belivavo. When we create this internal unity the result is stability and confidence. The Royal Seal of the Holy One Blessed be He is Truth (Shabbos 55a).

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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