Our Gemara mentions a number of special and technical requirements for a Get, a Jewish divorcement bill. Unlike marriage, it can be only accomplished through a written document and the document must spell out the “סיפור דברים” The verbal description of what is occurring.

Likkutei Halakhos (פריה ורביה אישות א:ב) sees symbolic and metaphysical significance in these legal requirements. In order to break the marriage bond, which is a spiritual accomplishment, it needs a renegotiation in writing, almost a new written Torah, in order to properly reestablish the roots of the souls of the individuals who are now separated.

This idea That there needs to be a written story and description of the divorce, makes me think of how when people get divorced they need to rewrite their story. Divorce is a terrible and painful process, and I compared it a number of times to an amputation. We do everything we can to save a limb but once in a while we must cut it off to save the whole. A divorce is an amputation of a part of oneself in order to save oneself. And, when it must happen, it is necessary to start again and write a new story. We saw in Psychology of the Daf Succah 14, how important the internal narrative is from a mystical and psychological perspective. For Those who have to go through this process I bless them that they should be successful writing a new chapter.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com