Our Gemara on this daf discusses the halachic dynamics of a drop of milk that falls on a piece of meat, which is in a pot with other pieces of meat. Some of the considerations include: if the pot is stirred right away, then the entire volume can be counted to nullify the small amount of milk. On the other hand, if the milk sits for a bit of time on the piece of meat, and this piece alone does not have enough volume to nullify it, now the entire piece, not just a drop of milk, becomes a prohibited substance. This is known as chaticha naase neveilah, literally the entire piece becomes as if it was not kosher meat. Why is this? The Torah prohibits the cooking of meat and milk together; though each one separately is permitted, the new entity of them being cooked together becomes the prohibited substance. In such a case, we now have an piece of non-kosher meat in a pot with other pieces of meat. Now we need the volume of all the pieces of meat to be more than that one piece in order to nullify it. Otherwise, the entire pot will become unkosher. Another consideration is, there is an opinion that when you have two like substances (min b’mino), nullification does not occur. That is, since essentially all the pieces of meat are the same, there is no contrast to overwhelm and make the flavor of the unkosher piece of meat insignificant. The flavor is blended together and it is not eliminated (see Ran, Nedarim 52a).

Ba’aley mussar see this discussion as a metaphor for human relationships and influence. A small amount of negative influence can impact an entire group unless it is quickly nullified. Additionally, once the negative attitude takes root, the entire person changes, and now it is more difficult to nullify the negative influence.

One of the concerns of parents who are in kiruv or shlichus is: will my children be affected by their less religious peers instead of the reverse? Of course, this is also a concern for many parents within traditional communities, if they fear their child is gravitating toward less desired elements and social groups.

The research regarding the modes of peer influence and the factors that make children more or less susceptible offers insight into what parents can do to mitigate this risk. Müller, C. & Minger, M. (2013, “Which children and adolescents are most susceptible to peer influence? A systematic review”) conducted a review of 66 longitudinal studies examining what factors make children and adolescents more or less susceptible to negative peer influence on antisocial behavior (aggression, delinquency, substance use).

Here are some of the relevant findings:

1. The early to middle phases of adolescence (roughly ages 11-16) are described as the period of greatest susceptibility to peer influence.
2. Knowing socially adept alternative behaviors, such as saying “no” confidently, or deflecting cleverly, reduces individual susceptibility to peer pressure. This is a skill that could be strategically taught through role play and is critical for countering unfavorable peer influence.
3. The child’s sense of connection to the school, that is identification with the school and the values associated with it.
4. And of course, there are obvious correlations between a positive parent-child relationship and more willingness to abide by the family’s norms.
5. Interestingly, there was no correlation between positive peer influences, and negative peer influences. Meaning to say, children can have peers on both extremes and maintain relationships with them with no statistical increase in peer influence. This is meaningful, because it indicates that it is more effective to encourage and maintain additional relationships with peers who have positive behavior instead of trying to limit, restrict, or forbid the relationships with the peers who have negative behavior.

Using the halachic metaphor, min b’mino, two like substances are harder to nullify than two different substances. In a psychological sense, it may be much harder to counter the effect of peers that are perceived as similar. This may be a key element in why many kiruv and shluchim families succeed - the surrounding peers and families are seen as so different, that the influence is less impactful. Psychologically, this makes sense. A child might feel less pressure to conform in order to achieve status or approval from their peers if they are perceived as having a different set of expectations and requirements.