Daf Yomi, Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Torah and Psychology
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses how the priestly gifts are to be consumed by the Kohanim (that is, the foreleg, the jaw, and the stomach from animals that are eaten, this portion are given to the Kohanim). They should be eaten in the manner that kings eat—roasted and with mustard.
According to tradition, Avraham served the visiting angels three calves, and specifically tongue with mustard. Is there a connection?
The Gemara (Bava Metzia 86b) derives from the verbose description of the calves—“a young calf, tender and of high quality” (Bereishis 18:7)—that there were actually three calves. The Gemara wonders why it was necessary for him to slaughter three. They answered: in order to serve each of them the delicacy of tongue with mustard.
Beis Yaakov (Vayera 20) says the tongue was a form of priestly gift to the angel, since the main edible part within the jaw is the tongue. The Gemara later in Chulin (134b) says that the jaw is reminiscent of prayer, because that is where the voice comes from.
Beis Yaakov then says something absolutely fascinating. Avraham chose to honor them with the tongue that represented the power of prayer because the angels unleashed his ability to pray. Avraham found in himself an opening or channel to pray for a son only after the angels blessed him with the future tidings.
This is theologically powerful. Even after he was blessed by the angels, it was not enough without Avraham’s own prayer. Additionally, Avraham’s ability to pray needed inspiration and hope in order for something within himself to open. Both lessons have direct relevance to our custom of going to a tzaddik to receive a blessing. First, we must realize that even if we receive a blessing—or possibly a divinely inspired reassurance or prediction—we still must pray for it. Second, it is not illegitimate to have someone else bless you, because we see that even Avraham himself could not find the inspiration and hope to pray properly without that boost.
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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com