http://jewishnews.com/2015/06/24/why-did-i-get-married-to/

If I would ask you why you got married, your response will likely be the following, we have the same interests, we both like to travel, we have similar careers, we have the same goals and aspirations, we care about the same issues, we share a religious and moral belief system, I found her attractive, I fell in love with him, he has a personality that I like, on and on the list will go. I never met you, or your partner, and I with the support of Harville Hendrix will confidently state; that is not the reason why you got married.

We spend our time seeking for the perfect mate. Perfection is defined by a list we have created, most likely from a very young age. The list appears random, a compilation of items that you say to yourself is important for a perfect marriage. The list changes, what stays the same is the strong belief that if I find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, who checks of all the boxes on my list, I will be perfectly happy. Our process of creating a list and then dating, meeting, seeking, appears to be a very conscious choice. In fact, it is deeply subconscious. Here I am again, very boldly stating, your list is not random, and if you match your list down to the letter, you are not guaranteed happiness... Click here to read more

Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, M.S., CASAC, is a psychotherapist at My Therapist New York where she provides individual counseling, couples counseling, and sex therapy. To contact Sara you can email her at sara@mytherapist.info

Sara Schapiro-Halberstam, MHC-LP, CASAC is a psychotherapist in New York City where she practices individual therapy, couples counseling, and sex counseling. You can contact Sara at sara@mwr.nyc and read more blog posts at www.mwr.nyc

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