Question: Thank you so much for your informative column. Once again, the importance of being diligent regarding the emotional and physical safety of our children has been hammered home. I was hoping that based on your years of experience as clinicians you could offer some guidance and advice as to what we as parents and members of a community should do to best protect our children?

There is much to say on this topic. One year ago, the noted Lakewood posek, Rav Yaakov Forchheimer, met with a large group of mental health professionals to discuss this, among other topics. I prefer to answer this question by quoting from his wise and astute comments. Please consider any mistakes to be mine. 

1)     Awareness: We are not doing enough to protect our children and the first step is awareness. Most parents don't understand this issue and it is certainly a toeles for them to seek to understand this topic. They should be informed that part of their parental duties is to make sure that their children are well-protected. This would help prevent many tragic situations.  

2)     Protection: With younger children, we cannot be too explicit as we don’t want to frighten them. In addition, we don’t want to put new ideas into their heads that they had never thought of. Therefore, the primary focus is for parents to be aware of where their children are and what they are doing at all times.

3)     Education: Older children can be taught to be careful as well as general safety messages. I don’t believe that a public family newspaper is a place to discuss this in detail so it may be advisable to reread the information that camps send out before the summer. You can also feel free to reach out to me for details or questions. For now, I would like to say the following: the most important factor to keep in mind is relationship. The more that parents invest in a loving relationship with a child, the more likely that the child will turn to parents when they sense something is not right at a very early stage. 

4)     School programming: There is a benefit in bringing comprehensive programs into schools to create awareness and education. The Rov emphasized that there will be misnagdim, but it is worthwhile to do the right thing despite them.

5)     Role of Rabbonim: The rov noted that rabbonim need to become aware of the nuances and details of these issues so that they should be able to pasken when these matters are brought to them.

Yehi ratzon shelo yishama od shod vashever bigvuleinu!

Originally printed in Yated Neeman

For a full transcript of Rav Forchheimer's remarks, please email me at cneuhoffphd@gmail.com