As a follow up to last week’s post, this is a discussion about connection. Connection between humans, and between human beings and their Creator.

I particularly like the metaphor of an electrical outlet, a mechanism designed to transfer power. If the mechanism is used as designed, it works well. The power flows uninhibited, an inscrutable force that delivers life to lifeless objects.

But when the outlet is used for other purposes (think of the child who gleefully stuffs potato chips into said crevice), how quickly the debris piles up! Even if nothing untoward is forced into the outlet, lack of use over time can leave it dusty and grimy. The flow of power just can’t get through.

A simple metaphor that has broad implications.

I’ve come to think of certain behaviors as either blockers or connectors. Eye contact, for example, is a great connector. Paying attention is a connecting behavior. Anything that distracts from our attention is a blocker. Electronic devices often fall into this category. Television, headphones, even reading a holy book can shut down communication.

Of course, there’s a great deal of nuance here. You’re probably reading this post on an electronic device. Is there someone you’re avoiding by reading this? Or can this post (hopefully) help you be more aware of your degree of connection?

What if it’s both?

And what of our connection to our Creator? What are the actions or objects that block connection in our Primary Relationship?

We can know and list the ways that we are distracted, and yet we block anyhow. It is as if we want to be blocked.

What would it be like to turn off the radio, TV, phone; put down the paperwork, magazine, soup ladle; to carve out some quiet time and just be? Just be with our family or friends, just be with God, just be with ourselves?  

It may sound useless. Or scary. Yes, scary, I think, because we are afraid of what we may find when all the noises are off, and it is just us. Just us and another human being. Or just us and God.

It is fear of intimacy, fear of being seen, fear of seeing ourselves for what we truly are. What if we don’t like what we see? We may not want the answer, and so we block ourselves from the question.

Existing without our defenses may seem pointless, lacking pep or energy. But true energy is found in the real source of power: our connection to others, and our connection to God.

You are not a human doing, but a human being. - Unknown

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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