Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 22nd, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have a pretty basic question about therapy, and I am hoping you can answer it for me. I went through something difficult recently and a few people have told me I should go to therapy so that I could “process” it. I have heard that word from a couple of people and no one has really been able to tell me what exactly that means. What does it mean to “process” something? To talk about it? I have been talking …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 14th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have been wondering about a friend who is very smart but is still struggles with motivation. He has been confiding in me recently but I think that he is very focused on philosophical reasons for his unhappiness, like the purpose of life, but doesn't pay enough attention to his emotions. It's hard to tell really but I am wondering if you could give me some pointers in how to steer him for the proper help. Thanks.   Response: …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 6th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have always considered myself a healthy person and have never been diagnosed with any kind of mental health issue. Recently, due to the current events in Eretz Yisroel, I have this feeling of uneasiness that follows me around all day. I can't say I'm anxious but I certainly don't feel like my regular self. I feel more "alert" when I am walking down the street, considering travel plans, or even dropping my kids off at school …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Our daughter experienced a significant trauma when she was in seminary last year. It had been suggested a few times, both by her school and once she came home, that she go for treatment. For whatever reason she refused. She now approached us that she would like to speak to someone about what she experienced and saw. We read this column regularly and would like to hear your recommendation regarding what is the best type of approach …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I would like to thank you for this insightful column that so many gain from weekly.  As a mesivta rebbe I occasionally need to send a bochur to therapy when I feel that his struggles may be mental health related and baruch Hashem I have generally had good experiences. There is a question that comes up that I would like to hear your opinion on. When are a bochur’s struggles or lack of motivation in le …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

December 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Hi. We'd like your guidance regarding a challenging aspect of our 15 year old son. Our son b”h has above average maalos. He's a shtark yeshiva bachur, ehrlich, intelligent, articulate, and good-looking. He's musical, writes incredible stories and has a sense of humor. The challenge: he doesn't know how to properly regulate frustration/unmet expectations/dealing with things he disagrees with …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I find the letters and responses to the Couch very informative. Would it be possible for the panelists to share advice on how to detect narcissistic behaviors? I had an awful experience with a narcissistic individual and tried so hard to make it work. However, if I would have been aware of the classic signs of narcissists, I would have realized early on that it would not work. Narcissists are very charismatic people that are  …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

July 5th, 2017

Dear Therapist: My 18-year-old son has been going through a very difficult time recently. He has been acting very rebellious and his yiddishkeit is suffering tremendously. We have been advised by many rabbonim and others that the key is for my wife and me to retain our relationship with him and unconditionally love him. Though he has not shown us that he is very responsible, we did not put up a fight and allowed him to get his driver’s lice …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am not a happy person. Is there a way to change that? That is honestly my whole question. I am pretty much fine in every way, I have a good husband, healthy frum kids, a decent job, we have decent parnassah, are part of a nice kehilla, etc.. Yes, I have the stresses of every frum family but nothing major. With all that said I am a pretty moody and cynical person. If I am being fully honest, I always have been …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 19th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have been enjoying this column in the Yated very much. I was wondering if you would be able to help me out. I’m going through a very hard period. I’m only 28 years old and I’m realizing that I have an issue in retaining information that I learn. I’m realizing it now because I got a job and it’s really affecting my job. I am slowly getting very very down on myself and I no longer have any interest in …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 8th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have been pushing off writing this, which maybe is part of the problem, but I feel like at this point I really need to. A few years ago, my husband was making a very nice living which caused us to raise our standards of living significantly. Now unfortunately, like I imagine many others are, we are feeling the crunch of the economy. Baruch Hashem, we have what we need but we can no longer afford to spend like we used to. We …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My 13-year-old daughter is an intense child. She puts a lot of pressure of herself academically and school is a big deal for her. All of her friends are going to (overnight) camp this summer and initially she had us register her as well. She is now insisting that she wants to stay home for the summer and "relax." She says she works hard all year, and she just wants a chance to have nothing to do. It is interesting that it doe …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: What is it with camps scaring the wits out of kids. How come all the scary plays, Holocaust stories, and color war breakouts. Granted my kids are a bit sensitive but do I need to have them come home from day camp all terrorized? Are these things appropriate? Are my kids just wimps? Can these types of things negatively impact kids?   Response:               …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 14th, 2023

Dear Therapist: My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I appreciate your weekly column and have learned a lot from it. I had a question regarding what type of evaluation you would recommend for a child who has shown a significant reduction in grades from one year to the next. This is for a child coming out of 3rd grade who has no major other history of issues. Someone suggested a speech therapist for a language eval, others are saying a neuropsych eval, and yet others are recomme …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I am 46 and have been living with anxiety my entire life. Every few years I go back to therapy for a while until I start feeling better. Then I stop with my therapist and it gets me through a year or two then it gets bad again and I wind up back in therapy again. I tried medication for a while a few years back but the side effects weren't really worth it. I have done 2 rounds of CBT where I analyzed my thinking patterns and how th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

December 18th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have heard that people are developing AI therapy and that it could be just as effective as in person therapy. Setting aside for the moment the issues that come along with use of technology, I am wondering if you think this is, or can be, and effective method of therapy?   Response: Your question can be understood from a global perspective or with regard to specific needs for specific people within the context of a therapeut …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

June 7th, 2018

Dear Therapist: There is a specific issue that I have been holding in for a long time. I understand that it is something that is very serious and needs to be discussed with a therapist. The issue is that it is a very serious thing that I am worried will need to be brought to the attention of the authorities. This is something I don’t want to happen. So, I am stuck, not getting the help that I need. Obviously, I can’t be specific …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 23rd, 2017

Dear Therapist, I recently graduated from college and began a job in an accounting firm. Although the job is working out well and I get along with everyone there, I have been feeling increasingly anxious as time goes on. I can't put my finger on what is bothering me because nothing else in my life has changed. In school I was always a relaxed, happy, popular person. I have good relationships and I am happy with my career, but I can't seem to shak …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our son recently acknowledged that he has been experiencing extreme anxiety over the last 6-8 months. This has been something that his menahel had been concerned about and mentioned to him, but he denied anything was wrong. I think that finally it got so bad that he couldn’t push it away anymore and he is coming to us for help. The issue is he is supposed to go to learn in Eretz Yisroel next zman along wi …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

February 16th, 2017

Dear Therapist: Hi, Thank you for your column. Since parnassa pressure is something we all face, I hope you will print my question. I am the mother of a growing family, BH, and like most women today, my income is essential. Perhaps my husband is learning and I am the primary breadwinner. Or perhaps my husband is working, but his income covers basics while mine pays the tuition. Either way, the pressure that I am feeling to increase my income as m …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: We recently acceded to our daughter’s request to begin seeing a psychologist weekly. This is related to some eating disorder and body image issues. Without going into the specifics we were given a bad recommendation by a friend as to which psychologist to send to. This psychologist clearly did not share our values and we believed she would not be appropriate for our impressionable teenage daughter. So we switched her to a d …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have gone through a lot the past few months and after reading this column thought that it would be a good idea to see a therapist to help me deal with my issues. I thought it would be a simple process but when I contacted a respected local therapist, she told me that I would need to see her twice a week and she also recommended that my family go through a regimen of weekly therapy sessions. That’s quite a lot, not to menti …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 9th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Thank you for this forum. Our oldest, a boy of 6, thinks that he is in charge of everything. He is in charge of every game, every digging session, and every clean-up job. He will constantly dominate every interaction with his younger siblings (boy 4 & girl 2) and attempts to control them. If his commands are not adhered to, he will yell and threaten etc. He cannot tolerate his younger brother superseding him in any way: "you a …
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