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מילי דהספידא על אבי ומורי זכר צדיק לברכה
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 1st, 2017
מילי דהספידא על אבי ומורי זכר צדיק לברכה מאת: הרב שמחה פוירמן ביום שלישי, כ״ט אלול תשע״ז הרב חיים יהושע בן אברהם פוירמן סים מלהגיד שיעורו האחרון בישיבה אוניברסיטי, מכון לחינוך ״עזריאלי״. אמר לאחד ממשרתיו, ״חכה לי, שצריך אני לנוח קצת״, ואז יצאה …
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A Token of Appreciation Kesuvos 79 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 23rd, 2022
It is important to show gratitude. Sometimes gratitude does not involve much effort or expenditure, so long as it is sincere. Our Mishna on Amud Beis teaches us: הַמּוֹצִיא הוֹצָאוֹת עַל נִכְסֵי אִשְׁתּוֹ הוֹצִיא הַרְבֵּה וְאָכַל קִימְעָא קִימְעָא וְאָכַל הַרְבֵּה מַה שֶּׁהוֹצִיא הוֹצִיא וּמַה שֶּׁאָכַל אָכַל ה …
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Compatibility Factors in Marriage Yevamos 110 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 24th, 2022
Our gemara on amud beis discusses the idea that certain people may have preference in marriage for someone similar to them, such as a deaf person may prefer to marry a deaf person. If compatibility and similarity in interests are important in marriage, to what extent and what domains can be identified? Doing this can help couples work on enhancing them together, and also help people who are dating identify these areas as priorities. R …
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Enmeshment: Momma’s Boys and Daddy’s Girls Kesuvos 60 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 4th, 2022
Our Gemara mentions a problematic pattern of behavior that can, according to the Gemara, even affect a woman’s likelihood of conceiving: Redufa leylech el beis aviha, When there is contention in the marriage and the woman tends to return back to her father’s home.There is a normal human pattern for young women to connect to and seek guidance from their mothers, as we saw by Rivkah (Bereishis 24:28): וַתָּ֙רׇץ֙ הַֽנ …
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15 Minutes of Fame Eruvin 88 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 5th, 2020
בִּיב הַקָּמוּר אַרְבַּע אַמּוֹת בִּרְשׁוּת הָרַבִּים — שׁוֹפְכִין לְתוֹכוֹ מַיִם בַּשַּׁבָּת. If the first four cubits of a drainage ditch were arched over (Kamur) in the public domain, one may pour waste water into it on Shabbat. What is this obscure term, Kamur? Meiri ibid on word Kemoros ועוקה זו מתרת בין בפנים ובין מבחוץ …
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46 Sinners and Saints Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 6th, 2021
Our Gemara quotes a Mishna that skins that are worked and processed lose their status of Tum’ah, with the exception of human skin which remains impure. Based on this difference, there is an important polemic between a Saducee and a Sage recorded in Mishna Yadayim 4:6. The dispute is as follows: How does rabbinic law make sense? They render scrolls of scripture as impure, while Greek sacred literature (possibly referring to Homer …
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A Bird and a Fish can Fall in Love...
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 17th, 2019
In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye exclaims in frustration to his daughter who is considering a marriage outside of the faith, “A bird and a fish can fall in love, but where would they build their home?” Today, many couples find themselves in a position of religious disparity. Whether they started out in the same religious position and one turned more religious and the other less, or they married under this circumstance, it challeng …
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A Broken Heart is More Whole Eruvin 105 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 22nd, 2020
A Broken Heart is More Whole A dilemma was raised before the Sages: If one priest is ritually impure and another has a blemish, which of them should enter to perform repairs? Rav Ḥiyya bar Ashi said that Rav said: The impure one should enter, as he is permitted to participate in communal service. If the entire community is ritually impure, even impure priests may perform the service, whereas blemished priests may not serve under any circ …
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A Chinuch Lacking in Promise Kesuvos 73 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 16th, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the situation of a man marrying a woman and then discovering that she had many oaths which has an impact on their personal life. This may invalidate the marriage, as he can say, אי אפשי באשה נדרנית I did not want to marry a woman who is a serial oath maker. Aside from the basic burden of being liable for too many restrictions, Maor Vashemesh (Matos 8) suggests a more characterological p …
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A Cucumber in Hand is Worth Two in the Bush Kesuvos 83 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 28th, 2022
What is more motivating? A cheap reward that comes quickly or a significant reward that takes much longer to obtain? Our Gemara on Amud Beis references an adage, “בוצינא טב מקרא”. Rashi translates botzina as a small gourd and Kara as a large gourd. The idea is the same as, “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.” That is, a person would prefer a small gourd, which he can eat right now, instead of waitin …
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A Fresh Face on the Lechem Hapanim Chaggigah 26 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 7th, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us about the miracle of the Lechem Hapanim, the bread from the special table in the Beis HaMikdash: They would lift the table with the shewbread on it to display the shewbread to the oley regel standing in the Temple courtyard, as it was prohibited for Israelites to enter the Sanctuary, where the table stood, and they would say to them: Behold your affection before God, Who performs a perpetual miracle with the bread …
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A Holy Family is a Healthy Family Eruvin 27 Rabbi Simcha Feuerman LCSW-R, DHL
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 4th, 2020
וּכְלָלָא הוּא דְּכׇל מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁהַזְּמַן גְּרָמָא נָשִׁים פְּטוּרוֹת? הֲרֵי מַצָּה שִׂמְחָה וְהַקְהֵל, דְּמִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁהַזְּמַן גְּרָמָא הוּא, וְנָשִׁים חַיָּיבוֹת. Is it a general principle that women are exempt from all time-bound, positive commandments without exception? B …
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A Job Done Too Well Kesuvos 98 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 12th, 2022
One of the famous questions regarding the slavery and oppression of the Jews, and the resulting retribution against the Egyptians is why should Pharaoh be punished for following God’s decree? God tells Avraham that his children will be strangers in a strange land, and serve them for 400 years. Yet in the next verse God assured Avraham that the oppressors will also be judged, and the Jewish people will leave with great wealth (Bereishis 15:1 …
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A King-Sized Request Kesuvos 100 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 14th, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis mentions a Tanna, Rabbi Elazar ben Parata, and actually his grandfather as well. I could find nothing to comment on about this daf, so I’ll discuss biographical notes about Rabbi Elazar ben Parata. He, similar to Rabbi Chaninah ben Tradiyon, was arrested for ”crimes against the state”, the age-old anti-semitic canard against Jews who taught Torah, as teaching subversive treasonous material. Th …
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A Man of Egyptian Extraction Yevamos 45 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
April 21st, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us the following principle: גּוֹי וְעֶבֶד הַבָּא עַל בַּת יִשְׂרָאֵל — הַוָּלָד כָּשֵׁר. If a gentile fathers a child from a Jewish woman, the child is not a mamzer and considered a Jewish person. The Arvei Nachal (Vayyigash 2) explains this in terms of its metaphysical implications. Let’s begin with a basic assumption that if the halakha dictates su …
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A Poor Conductor Nazir 53 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 17th, 2023
There is an morbid vaudeville joke about the hapless shlemazel train engineer who was fired from his job. Feeling depressed, he puts his foot to the third rail, hoping to electrocute himself. Somehow, since this poor guy cannot seem to do anything right, he survives and is not zapped by the high voltage. Why, you might ask? Because, of course, he was a poor conductor! Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the concept of “sword …
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A Profession will make you a living self-education will make you a fortune Pesachim 11 Psych & the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 2nd, 2020
A Profession will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune. - Jim Rohn The Gemara rejects this contention: There, with regard to a firstborn, it is different, for if he leaves it and does nothing the animal will die, and therefore we say that a person is agitated over his property. In his agitated state he will overlook the details of permitted and prohibited actions and violate a prohibition. Here, however, if he leaves his …
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A Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory Yevamos 87 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 2nd, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a verse in Vayikra 4:28 which uses an ambiguous phrase regarding a sin-offering, “Or, if his sin be known to him.” The phrase seems to emphasize knowing about the sin, but it is redundant, as how would he bring a sacrifice if he did not know about his sin? From there the Gemara derives a number of rules relating to what kind of information obligates a sacrifice, and what does not. If he …
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A Stormy Marriage Yevamos 11 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 18th, 2022
Our Gemara discusses the halakha of Machazir Gerushaso, which is the prohibition to remarry a divorced wife, once she married someone in between. Instead of discussing the halachos, let us look into the mystical and symbolic teachings that have been triggered by this human pattern of connection and disconnection. We have noted many times in Psychology of the Daf the ways in which the relationship between God and the Jewish people is describ …
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Abandoned Mitzvos Nazir 44 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 8th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the concept of Meis Mitzvah, an abandoned body with no identifiable relatives. In such a case, even a Cohen Godol and a Nazir are permitted to tend to the burial. Sefer Chassidim (261) says that metaphorically speaking, there are mitzvos which are neglected and abandoned and also are considered to be a Meis Mitzvah. Chofetz Chaim (Shemiras Halashon I:3) adds: This is true by force of a kal v’chomer. If a l …
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Abortion Early Pregnancy Loss Trauma and Shame
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
April 28th, 2020
The following is a guest post from Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R
You lost your baby. You’re no longer pregnant. It’s a long story. You don’t want to talk about it. The doctors. The Rabbis. The Dayan. They all said you had to do it. You can’t talk about it. Nobody knows what really happened. Your husband refuses to talk to you about the baby. He doesn’t want you to bring it up ever again. You must move on. Everyo …
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Abuse by Insurance Companies
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 28th, 2020
Despite the fact that the NYS Department of Financial Services issued an order waiving all copays and deductibles for tele-health visits, some insurance companies continue to ignore the ruling. The order is explicit in stating that it is both for COVID-19 and non-COVID cases, as well as mental health, The ruling can be found at this url : https://www.dfs.ny.gov/reports_and_publications/press_releases/pr20203171 Here is the relevant quote:& …
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Adar and Goldilocks
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 10th, 2019
This year is a Jewish leap year. The Jewish calendar is based on a combination of lunar and solar inputs; specifically, the months follow the Moon, however the seasons follow the Sun. Since 12 lunar months only add up to 354 days, it is approximately 11 days short of a solar year. The rabbis understood from the Biblical directive to guard the month of spring, that they needed to add in a leap month (Adar II) approximately every 3 year …
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Admitting that We are Wrong Psychology of the Daf Eruvin 16
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 25th, 2020
Eruvin 16 הֲדַר אוֹקֵים רַב נַחְמָן אָמוֹרָא עֲלֵיהּ וּדְרַשׁ: דְּבָרִים שֶׁאָמַרְתִּי לִפְנֵיכֶם טָעוּת הֵן בְּיָדִי. בְּרַם כָּךְ אָמְרוּ: יָחִיד — נוֹתְנִין לוֹ בֵּית סָאתַיִם, שְׁנַיִם — נוֹתְנִין לָהֶן בֵּית סָאתַיִם, שְׁלֹשָׁה — נַעֲש …
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A Doting Attuned Father Psychology of the Daf Shabbos 154
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 7th, 2020
Shabbos אַבָּיֵי אַשְׁכְּחֵיהּ לֵיהּ לְרַבָּה דְּקָא מְשַׁפְשֵׁף לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ אַגַּבָּא דְחַמְרָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קָא מִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ מָר בְּבַעֲלֵי חַיִּים! אֲמַר לֵיהּ: צְדָדִין הֵן, וּצְדָדִין לָא גְּזַרוּ בְּהוּ רַבָּנַן. מְנָא תֵּימְרָא — ד …
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Affluenza Nazir 29 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 21st, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a possible reason that the rabbis granted a father rights to declare his minor son a Nazir. The rabbis subsumed this under the general obligation of chinuch, the rabbinic directive to accustom a child in the practice of mitzvos. The Maharitz Chayes raises the following question: “We are aware that the idea of the mitzvah of Chinuch is to gradually accustom a child to his obligations so that he not be sudde …
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Agent of Light Nedarim 35 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 29th, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the status of Cohanim in relation to their service in the Beis Hamikdash. Are they considered agents of God, or our agents whom we appoint to serve God in our stead? This has numerous applications, including if a Cohen, whom you vowed to not have benefit from, can stil bring your sacrifices. If he works for you as your agent, then he is bringing you a benefit. If he is merely following God‘s com …
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All In a Day’s Work Nazir 7 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 30th, 2023
Our General on Amud Aleph references the halakhic definition of a day, which is the day behind the prior night. This is learned from verses in Bereishis, “It was evening, it was morning.” Therefore, most Jewish practices that begin or end on a certain day, start the evening before. As of course, Shabbos and Yom Tov begin on the evening before. A notable exception to this rule is for counting days of validity for eating the meat of a s …
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All Relationships Are Permanent Yevamos 89 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 3rd, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the principle behind the financial obligation of the Kesubah, שלא תהא קלא בעיניו להוציאה that divorcing a wife should not be a light matter. Since upon divorce, the husband will have to pay out a large sum, he naturally will think twice about divorce. The Rashbah in Bava Kama (89a) elaborates on this and explains that should a woman feel that the marriage can be dismissed lightly, her gener …
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All’s Well that Ends Well? Yevamos 76 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 22nd, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses Shaul Hemelech’s introduction to David: דְּאָמַר קְרָא: ״וְכִרְאוֹת שָׁאוּל אֶת דָּוִד יוֹצֵא לִקְרַאת הַפְּלִשְׁתִּי אָמַר אֶל אַבְנֵר שַׂר הַצָּבָא בֶּן מִי זֶה הַנַּעַר אַבְנֵר וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְנֵר חֵי נַפְשְׁךָ הַמֶּלֶךְ אִם יָדָעְתִּי״. …
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Altar Ego Nedarim 59 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 23rd, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes the warning of Rav Nosson: Anyone who vows, it is as if he built a personal altar outside the Temple, and one who fulfills that vow, it is as though he burns an offering upon it The language is notable as there are two stages. First, the person impetuously makes an ill-advised vow. However, he’s not yet in such hot water. He can reverse course and humbly seek nullification from a sage. At this point he only b …
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Alternate Generation Theory Yevamos 84 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 30th, 2022
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the prohibition of the Egyptian convert. A regular Jewish person cannot marry into that family fit the first two generations. He may only marry into the third generation born after the conversion, as stated explicitly in Devarim 23:9. We might wonder what is the significance of three generations? The Chizkuni (Op. Cit.) explains that it takes three generations to change the family culture. As we find the Torah de …
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Am I Supposed to be a Mind Reader? Yevamos 108 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 23rd, 2022
One of the modern marriage and therapy tropes is that no one can be a mind-reader, and people must take responsibility to express and communicate their needs. While this is common sense, it can be taken as diminishing the value of intuitive understanding of one’s spouse. I emphatically state to the contrary! Understanding of non-verbal cues and bids is absolutely an important relationship asset. Our Gemara on Amud Beis speaks of …
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An Analysis of Halachos of Kneeling for Persons in Twelve Step Recovery
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 24th, 2019
There are some people in the course of their 12 step work who find connecting to G-d via kneeling to be an important part of their recovery. There is a degree of cultural inhibition regarding kneeling for Jewish people, as this is not our customary form of worship. Below is an analysis of the pertinent halachic issues. The verse states in Vayikra 26:1 “…and a Maskis stone shall not be placed in your land to bow upon it.” …
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An Answer to Prayers Kesuvos 103 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 16th, 2022
There’s a Jewish quip about prayer that I have always disliked, not because it isn’t true, but rather because it’s irritating in its smug self-satisfaction.
A person complained that he prayed and prayed and God didn’t listen. His rabbi answered, “Who says God didn’t listen? He listened, and the answer was ’No.’” While this might be true, it is cold comfort to one who needed a mirac …
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An Extra Helping of the Delights of Shabbos Nedarim 63 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 27th, 2022
Our Gemara discusses the ancient Jewish custom of eating garlic Friday night in order to enhance fertility, as it is a Mitzvah Friday night in particular to be intimate (See Ritva). By the way, there is corroborating scientific evidence that Garlic positively affects virility, and in particular cooked garlic. (See Bahrami KH, Mahjor AA, Johary H, Bahrami R, Bahrami A. Comparative study on histopatological and histomorphometric effect of raw and c …
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An Original Slant on an Ancient Practice Kesuvos 6 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
July 12th, 2022
In today’s Psychology of the Daf, we are going to discuss an ancient sexual practice from the time of the Talmud, and what it can teach us about sexual ethics in marriage. Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses some technical halakhic aspects of a virgin having intercourse for the first time on Shabbos. Since there can be bleeding, is this considered inflicting a wound, which is forbidden to do on Shabbos? There are numerous iterati …
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Analytic Learners vs. Dynamic Learners Eruvin 66 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 9th, 2020
Eruvin 66 תָּהֵי בַּהּ רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר. Rabbi Elazar wondered at Rabbi Yoḥanan’s ruling that the Sages had acted well when they rented the gentile’s property on Shabbat and then they renounced their rights to that one, so that at least it would be permitted to use the courtyard. Tosafos Kesuvos 2b וכל אמורא היה תופס לשונו כמו מגדף בה ר' אבהו (סנהדרין ג: …
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Anger Problem? Anger Solution!
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 23rd, 2019
Marc considers himself an overall decent guy, he cares for his wife and children and is a hard worker. Once in a while, when people really push his buttons he loses his temper -- he can say abusive statements such as name-calling and also physically punches the wall. His wife says it is unbearable and frightening to her and the kids and he needs help. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal to him, but he must concede that his fath …
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Animals Who Walk on Two Feet Nazir 42 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 6th, 2023
Our Gemara on the top of Amud Aleph discusses the mitzvah of Tzitzis. Using an idea from Sefer Haikkarim, Yismach Moshe offers a psychological and symbolic explanation for this mitzvah. Sefer Haikkarim (III:15) provides a philosophical backstory to the rivalry of Kayin and Hevel. Both left with the task of making their way in the world, Kayin works the land, while Hevel chooses to herd animals. Naturally, each brings sacrifices from their c …
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