What Clinicians need to know about Divorce
Intro. The point of this course is to move PACT (Psychobiologic Approach to Couples Therapy) into a new dimension. That is, PACT was initially designed by founder Stan Tatkin PsyD. as a couples therapy. The goal of treatment is traditionally to help couples work on a more satisfying relationship, with the goal of “secure functioning.”
A. PACT & Divorce. However, the divorce rate in the US, while falling somewhat in recent years, still hovers around 45%. As a Psychologist and Divorce Mediator, I have worked on integrating therapy and separation processes. This course offers a theoretical and practical frame to therapists helping couples retain some of the secure functioning principles while they are UNcoupling (separating and/or divorcing).
B. RDT. I have discovered Relational Dialectics Theory (RDT) as a useful intellectual partner.
Relational dialectics theory (RDT) is a communications theory that explains that patterns of tensions and struggles exist in close relationships, especially when people experience paradoxical or contradictory desires. Proposed in 1988 by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery, the theory proposes that a) close relationships between people are not one dimensional, but always fluctuating between highs and lows, b) that tensions in our relationships are normal, and that c) good clear communication is necessary to sustain positive productive interpersonal relationships.
RDT is based on the idea that relationships are constantly changing and are made up of contradictory desires, needs, and expectations. The theory focuses on three main types of tensions that arise in relationships:
- Autonomy vs. connection: The tension between wanting independence / separation and wanting to be close to others/ intimacy.
- Openness vs. closeness: The tension between wanting to share personal information/ express oneself and wanting to set boundaries/ be private.
- Predictability vs. novelty: The tension between wanting stability and wanting change and excitement
C. Holding the “third space” of contradiction. My point will be that secure functioning can exist whether a couple is working on improved coupling OR whether they are UNcoupling IF they together as a team can occupy the 3rd space in the either-or dialectic. This is an intersubjective space defined originally by psychoanalysts Ogden (19- ) later Benjamin (19- ), and then by Baxter (1988) and Montgomery (1988).
https://nefesh.org/workshops/CouplingAND/viewFREE WEBINAR
Coupling AND UNcoupling:
What Clinicians need to know about Divorce
Tuesday, January 14, 2025, 6:00 PM EST
Presenter: Joy A. Dryer, Ph.D.
Course Length: 3 Hours
Learning Objectives:
- Name 3 assessment tools and how each helps the PACT therapist assess if both partners are committed to working on improving their relationship, OR if one or both is really headed out the door/ is considering uncoupling. [ECR-R, DAS, WAI]
- Describe 3 secure functioning criteria that the PACT therapist uses to help the couple decide whether to work on staying IN the relationship, or to work on separating/ uncoupling. [Team Shared Purpose, Theory of Mind, Mutual Regulation]
- Identify the 3 separation processes that couples can choose among. [Mediation, Collab. Divorce, Litigation].
Intro. The point of this course is to move PACT (Psychobiologic Approach to Couples Therapy) into a new dimension. That is, PACT was initially designed by founder Stan Tatkin PsyD. as a couples therapy. The goal of treatment is traditionally to help couples work on a more satisfying relationship, with the goal of “secure functioning.”
A. PACT & Divorce. However, the divorce rate in the US, while falling somewhat in recent years, still hovers around 45%. As a Psychologist and Divorce Mediator, I have worked on integrating therapy and separation processes. This course offers a theoretical and practical frame to therapists helping couples retain some of the secure functioning principles while they are UNcoupling (separating and/or divorcing).
B. RDT. I have discovered Relational Dialectics Theory (RDT) as a useful intellectual partner.
Relational dialectics theory (RDT) is a communications theory that explains that patterns of tensions and struggles exist in close relationships, especially when people experience paradoxical or contradictory desires. Proposed in 1988 by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery, the theory proposes that a) close relationships between people are not one dimensional, but always fluctuating between highs and lows, b) that tensions in our relationships are normal, and that c) good clear communication is necessary to sustain positive productive interpersonal relationships.
RDT is based on the idea that relationships are constantly changing and are made up of contradictory desires, needs, and expectations. The theory focuses on three main types of tensions that arise in relationships:
- Autonomy vs. connection: The tension between wanting independence / separation and wanting to be close to others/ intimacy.
- Openness vs. closeness: The tension between wanting to share personal information/ express oneself and wanting to set boundaries/ be private.
- Predictability vs. novelty: The tension between wanting stability and wanting change and excitement
C. Holding the “third space” of contradiction. My point will be that secure functioning can exist whether a couple is working on improved coupling OR whether they are UNcoupling IF they together as a team can occupy the 3rd space in the either-or dialectic. This is an intersubjective space defined originally by psychoanalysts Ogden (19- ) later Benjamin (19- ), and then by Baxter (1988) and Montgomery (1988).
Learning Objectives:
- Name 3 assessment tools and how each helps the PACT therapist assess if both partners are committed to working on improving their relationship, OR if one or both is really headed out the door/ is considering uncoupling. [ECR-R, DAS, WAI]
- Describe 3 secure functioning criteria that the PACT therapist uses to help the couple decide whether to work on staying IN the relationship, or to work on separating/ uncoupling. [Team Shared Purpose, Theory of Mind, Mutual Regulation]
- Identify the 3 separation processes that couples can choose among. [Mediation, Collab. Divorce, Litigation].
Agenda:
AGENDA:
INTRO: What is PACT? what is RDT? How these theories integrate to help couples decide to stay or to separate? (20 min)
ASSESSING: three main types of tensions that arise in relationships:
- Autonomy vs. connection: The tension between wanting independence / separation and wanting to be close to others/ intimacy.
- Openness vs. closeness: The tension between wanting to share personal information/ express oneself and wanting to set boundaries/ be private.
- Predictability vs. novelty: The tension between wanting stability and wanting change and excitement
- Show video of Couple #1 (10 min.) and Q & A & discuss above criteria (30)
DECIDING: Secure functioning principles: Shared purpose, Theory of Mind, Mutual Regulation
Show video of Couple #2 (10 min.) and Q & A & discuss above criteria (30)
REFERRING (separation options): How to keep the Third Space of contradiction and loss
Show video of Couple #3 (10 min.) and Q & A & discuss above criteria (30)
Review & Summation. (20 min)
Final Q & A & discussion (20)
This presentation is open to:
- Social Workers
- Professional Counselors
- Therapists
- Psychologists
- Licensed Mental Health Practitioners
- Medical Doctors and Other Health Professionals
- Other professionals interacting with populations engaged in mental health based services
- New practitioners who wish to gain enhanced insight surrounding the topic
- Experienced practitioners who seek to increase and expand fundamental knowledge surrounding the subject matter
- Advanced practitioners seeking to review concepts and reinforce practice skills and/or access additional consultation
- Managers seeking to broaden micro and/or macro perspectives