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Hegyon Libi
Elisheva Liss, LMFT A look at the commonly asked question: How often should couples be intimate? Data, Torah, and practical advice.
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A Simple Sexuality Education Message from The Megila
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
March 9th, 2020

One year, when I went to shul for megila reading, I was a few minutes early, so I stopped to watch the adorable costumed children running around. I saw many little girls dressed up as princesses, fairies and brides, and most of the little boys were pirates, robbers, and ninjas. Not a prince in sight. A preschool version of the “shidduch crisis.” Of course, that was a joke, but the metaphor might fit… If you ask any Yeshiva grad …
A Separation Is Not Necessarily Step One to a Divorce
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
October 18th, 2020

Couples therapy is intense work. Back in grad school, I had a professor say: “We’re not in the business of saving marriages. We’re in the business of helping people.” At the time, I was young, arrogant, and naively idealistic, and I thought: “Well, I’m hoping to save marriages.” After years on the job, I’ve learned that he was right. While thankfully, most of the time, we do help clients save their …
A Different Kind of Sexual Trauma Among Us
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
February 27th, 2022

Trigger warning: this post discusses sexual trauma Zeesy, a 19-year-old newlywed, was referred for intense erotophobia- a fear of sexual activity. It’s been about three months since their wedding, but her aversion to sexual touch seems to be getting worse. Her young husband is worried, and the premarital educator who sent her asks me:   “Do you think something happened to her?”   What she means, of course, is trauma- s …
10 Tips to Minimize Family Drama over Yom Tov
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
April 4th, 2023

The yomim tovim / Jewish holidays are often “busy season” for Orthodox therapists. In our communities, where there’s a profound emphasis on the values of both family and holidays, these often converge to create a perfect storm of internal pressure and interpersonal mayhem. There are the social plans: who is hosting, who is traveling, which “side’s turn” is it to have the newlyweds, or the elderly relatives, and …
10 Ideas of What Not to Comment on when Spending Time with Extended Family (or Other Humans):
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
October 7th, 2022

With the upcoming holiday of Sukkos, many families are getting together in clans, and sometimes interactions that are well-meaning can take a turn for the awkward or hurtful. Here are some suggestions of ways to keep it clean and considerate, by trying to steer clear of the following common pitfall topics. It might be a good idea to not comment on:       1. How people look: style, weight, modesty- appearance is super-personal to m …
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