Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Showing Results 0 - 40 (387 total)
Death and Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 13th, 2018
Dear Therapist: Although your responses will be too late to be beneficial to me, I hope that by writing into this panel your responses will guide others who may be dealing with a similar dilemma. My wife’s father was recently niftar after a relatively brief illness. There was a lot of disagreement between my wife and me as to how much our 3 children (ages 12, 10 and 7) should participate in the levaya, shiva etc. My wife was very concerned …
I Can't Confide in My Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: Thank you for your informative and interesting column. I've been in therapy for several months and still have a very hard time opening up to my therapist. I started seeing a therapist for anxiety and we've been working on other things as well, such as self-esteem. I did not have the support I needed in the past which contributes to my fear of judgment from her. This is an issue for me in general; not just in therapy. I don't find …
My Son is a Weakling!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I have a 12-year-old son who has always been a bit of the “weaker” sort. Always been very needy, very fragile, as well as academically challenged. He always seems to want more and more attention from mommy and daddy and spends at least 3-4 weeks a year home sick (really sick not faking it). It seems like it is just the personality that he was born with. As he gets older, I am becoming more and more concerned about his …
Wedding Jitters
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I know this is more of a shidduch question, but I would love to hear the perspectives of mental health professionals on this. BH I am getting engaged and I am excited. I am so grateful that I got everything I wanted (and much more). At the same time as so much excitement, I am also really nervous, it's such a huge decision and even though I spoke it over with my parents and mentors, I still just feel how huge it is. I feel like wh …
My Son's Therapist Won't Talk to Me
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: My 18-year-old son is currently seeing a therapist which was recommended by his rosh reshiva. Even though we are paying for the therapy our only interaction with the therapist is to arrange for payment. My son doesn't want us to speak to the therapist and when we have called the therapist, he doesn't want to speak to us either. How are we supposed to help our son if we have no idea what is going on with him? It also seems very unf …
Dreams and the Unconscious Mind
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: Ever since I can remember I have had disturbing dreams. Even now as an adult I find that I have these vivid nightmares almost every night. It’s gotten to a point where it’s kind of out of hand and I am wondering if this means something is wrong with me? Is there something I can do to make this stop? Would therapy help with something like this? I’d appreciate any guidance you could give me. Thanks. Response …
Sibling Bullying
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: We have an 11 yr. old son who has been bullying his younger siblings for years. He is an intense child with a low self-esteem. He threatens them, bribes them, belittles them, embarrasses them, annoys them, and physically hurts them. He needs everything to go his way. We've spoken to him time and again about his behaviors and he's aware of what he's doing and that it’s not ok. We've punished and threatened and explained. He d …
Purim and Positivity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 18th, 2023
Dear Therapist: There is so much talk about the mental health issues that many are facing. Lekovod the simcha of Purim can you please share some of the good news? Where have you seen success, and what has inspired you, as to how both individuals and the tzibur have made strides in the area of mental health? Thank you! Ah Freilichin Purim! Response: Our society does tend to focus on problems rather than on …
Boredom or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 20th, 2018
Dear Therapist: My 10-year-old son constantly needs to be entertained. He is never able to just sit still and keep himself busy. He enjoys listening to Jewish tapes of stories (Rabbi Erps, Rebbe Hill, etc.) but he will listen for 5 hours straight. And he will constantly kvetch about not being able to listen if we don’t allow it. Is it healthy for someone to spend that much time like that? It’s like he has become obsessed with this stu …
Do I need More Sleep or Am I Simply Lazy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 26th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am 21 year old Bochur just back from Eretz Yisroel. Can you please explain to me why some people have such a hard time waking up in the morning? This is something I constantly struggle with and I never am able to beat it. Oversleeping is something that is constantly getting in the way of my aliyah. It also really annoys my parents and rabbeim. I wouldn't say it just has to do with going to sleep late because I have fr …
Rabbi or Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 26th, 2018
Dear Therapist: Our daughter has recently asked us to see (and pay for) a therapist. She says that her reasons for this are because she feels empty, without direction in life, and is not finding fulfillment. She is 22 years old, has never had any issues before, had no major difficulties in life, has a good job and has always done well. My husband and I have always felt that she could be a little more sincere with her yiddishkeit. She does everyth …
Why Do I Get Angry?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 4th, 2025
Dear Therapist: I’ve always struggled with my temper. Lately I’ve been realizing that it’s not always about how bad a situation is, but more about things not going the way I expected or planned. I’m starting to wonder if my anger has more to do with being rigid—like I just have a really hard time when things don’t go the way I think they should. Is that a common root of anger issues? Is that what I should …
Is Therapy Still Stigmatized?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 4th, 2025
Dear Therapist: I recently started therapy, and I can honestly say it’s been something I really need—it’s helping. But even though people say the stigma around therapy is fading, I still feel like many of my friends don’t really understand it. I could never imagine telling them I’m in therapy. Not long ago, one of my friends made a joke about people who go to therapy, and it really stung. I didn’t feel like I c …
Anonymous Overeaters
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
April 5th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I have struggled for years with overeating and dieting. I was put on a diet at a young age (I was not overweight; it was purely for aesthetics) and as a result I have spent over 20 years yoyo dieting. I mostly maintain a normal to slightly large physique, so my health is not in great danger. But I cannot seem to get beyond this. I use food to cope and to relieve any emotions I cannot handle. I basically wake up and crash whatever …
Am I being Bullied?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am a 15-year-old bochur in what many consider a choshuve mesivta. I consider myself a nice person. Perhaps I am a bit shy. I am often the subject of “sharfe” lines by the bochurim in yeshiva. There is a mehalech in the yeshiva of everyone trying to show how sharf and quick and smart they are, and for whatever reason I am the punching bag. Maybe cuz I’m an out of town …
Should My Daughter Pay for Her Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: A year ago, my 20-year-old daughter told me she wants to speak to psychologist because she’s feeling anxiety. She insisted on speaking only to the top and most expensive ones. My husband is in chinuch and we don’t have an extra dollar but I don’t let money get in the way of necessities and over the past year and a half shelled out over 10 grand. My daughter never had any trauma and she doesn’t dis …
Shiva House Etiquette
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: A friend of mine who recently sat shiva made a comment to me about how some people were so helpful and supportive and others not so much. As professionals I was wondering if you could give your suggestions on how to properly be menachem avel and be supportive of those who have suffered a loss? Response: Every person mourns differently. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are official …
Can Therapy Help Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I’m wondering if therapy can help a person who is in a difficult situation that can’t be changed. I understand if someone is depressed with life therapy can help them feel better but if someone is dealing with a reality that is bad is there a point of going to therapy? I understand the question is broad but I would prefer not to go into my own personal details. Either way there are many such examples, financial, famili …
Can I Convince My Sister to Seek Help?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I have a younger sister (age 24) who I care about very much. She had a rough childhood as far as being picked on in school and since she is a nonconformist got in a lot of trouble. Her relationship with my parents has also been very up and down with a lot of negativity and hurt feelings. She has a small part-time job that she gets no satisfaction from. To me she is clearly depressed and she admits as much. She is very smart and no …
Angry, Defiant Child
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: We had been having some difficulties with our 7 year old son through the beginning of the school year. He had just been very angry and chutpahdik. In general he seems to have trouble expressing what is bothering him and seems to act out instead. Over the 3 months in which he was not going to school there was a noticeable change in his behavior for the better. My husband and I looked at each other one day and it hit us how well he …
Religious Obsessions
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: One of my teenagers is busy with "streaks." It seems that that is the only way he feels he shteigs. He will be very occupied, lemoshol, that he hasn't missed davening in “x” amount of days. Then when he misses he will completely fall apart and miss minyan for days at a time. It seems to be all or nothing for him. It is unclear to me exactly how much, but this mehalech does seem t …
COVID Killed the Summer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: We have just been informed that my daughter's (13) sleep-away camp will not be opening this summer. She had a miserable few months because of the quarantine and lock-down and was so hoping for camp. Our family is in the city and there may be day-camps open, but the experience is not close to comparable. She is now devastated. What can we tell her? How will she get past this? Response: I know that your concerns a …
You Need to be in Therapy FOREVER!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I have gone through a lot the past few months and after reading this column thought that it would be a good idea to see a therapist to help me deal with my issues. I thought it would be a simple process but when I contacted a respected local therapist, she told me that I would need to see her twice a week and she also recommended that my family go through a regimen of weekly therapy sessions. That’s quite a lot, not to menti …
Do I have Trust Issues?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: Friends of mine have often commented that I don’t trust anyone. I never really took it seriously but since I got married and my husband has also mentioned it I have started to see it may be a pattern. He pointed out that even with my so called friends I don’t really get close to them and trust them. How would I know if this is an issue and how would it be addressed? Response: To respond, I think that we can look …
Non Verbal Learning Disability Revisited
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am a 17 year old girl in a mainstream school, who has been through "tons" of therapy in my life. Language/speech therapy, O.T., P.T., Social skills—you name it. I have never gotten a clear diagnosis, but upon reading your article (January 25,2019) and then recently reading a book by Yated columnist Rivka Schonfeld, it appears to my parents and I that I really fall under the category of Non Verbal Learning Disability, being …
Brothers Estranged
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I have been estranged from my brother for 8 years. This happened as a result of a financial issue where I felt he had cheated me. I got some bad advice at the time regarding how I should deal with it and that led to all the issues. There were mistakes made on both sides and we have been locked in. I’m not going to kid myself; there was a lot of nasty lashon horah and machlokes on my part but also on his. Recently when I was …
The Mental Health Impact of COVID-19
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: There has been a lot of talk on the risk/reward of opening the economy vs continuing the quarantine. There has been a lot of mention of the significant mental health issues that could arise both directly from extended quarantine as well as from the economic impact that maintaining the shutdown has on people’s finances. While you may not be public health experts or epidemiologists, I was hoping you could share your educated o …
PTSD in Healthcare Workers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: My wife works as a nurse in a local New Jersey hospital. Needless to say she has been working very hard and endured a lot over the last 6 weeks. She has seen a lot off suffering and death unfortunately. She has worked tirelessly as an advocate for hospitalized patients and their families but has not always been successful. She acknowledges that she might need some counseling when this is all over but says now is not the time &ldqu …
My Oppositional Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am writing to see if you have any suggestions regarding our 17-year-old son. In general, he hasn’t been doing awesome over the last year. He has a particularly tenuous relationship with his mother while he does a little better with me. This period of quarantine has been particularly difficult. I guess I can break down the issue into a couple different questions. He is not really functioning on a normal schedule, waking up …
Coronavirus Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: I am a 24 year old married man. Since I remember I've been an extremely chilled and settled person. However, since the world turned upside down, I have been experiencing severe anxiety; I don't have an appetite, I am extremely weak and have many other symptoms of a person going through panic attacks. There is a lot for me to worry about unfortunately, primarily financially, but I have always dealt with stress well. What is happeni …
Coronavirus Opportunities
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 13th, 2020
Dear Therapist: On a regular week, in normal times, I have so much on my plate. Now I am expected to care for my infant (no babysitter), keep house (no cleaning help), work from home, entertain my kids, and be in charge of their homeschooling. This while my husband is also expected to work full time from home. When I hear people talk about how this time offers us opportunities to learn with our children, quality time, etc., I wonder what I a …
Is Anger a Primary Emotion?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: Our teenage son often loses his temper. He can get really worked up over seemingly silly things. Not just at home but even with his friends it has becoming something of a joke about how he can "lose it." He isn't violent c"v or anything like that and is mostly a pleasant nice kid but he can really go from 0-60 quickly sometimes. How do you advise we deal with him when he gets like this? Do we make a zero-tolerance policy …
My Son's Medication Obsession
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: My teenage son (18) had been struggling with anxious and obsessive thoughts and went to see a therapist based on the recommendation of our rov. He was also told by the rov that medication could be an option as well. He was very against taking medication, probably out of a concern for shidduchim, and decided to just try therapy. The issue is that since he knows that the option of medication is out there, he has …
Twice Weekly Sessions
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: While I pushed it off for a long time, I now realize that I benefit from speaking to a therapist. I saw someone when I was in yeshiva in E'Y and now that I am back, I am trying to find someone appropriate. There is a lot that has gone on, and is going on, in my life and I need to speak to someone at least twice a week. So far it is hard enough to find someone with one opening, forget about two. Also, one of the therapist …
Parental Alienation
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I appreciate your weekly insights and value the fact that there are therapists and mental health professionals who are true bnei Torah. I have heard rumblings about an issue and would like to give you an opportunity to clarify it for us. Can you please explain what is "parental alienation" which I understand to mean is when a therapist instructs a client to break off contact with a parent? Is this something that frum therapis …
The Perfectionism Spectrum
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: I have been told for a while by others that I have "perfectionistic" tendencies. I am bh doing very well but I do have a significant amount of stress in my life. I struggle with the idea of "perfectionism" being a bad thing. Shouldn't we always be looking for growth, excellence, and to be the best we have to be? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism and how does one tell the difference? …
Why Isn't My Son Productive?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 14th, 2023
Dear Therapist: My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …
Involuntary Truancy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 17th, 2017
Dear Therapist: I am writing about a very painful matter that unfortunately other parents are struggling with as well. As I write this letter at the end of July my daughter does not yet have a high school for next year. I will leave aside the larger communal issue of children not getting into schools because I don’t think this is the forum for it but suffice it to say that she is an excellent girl with middos tovos and has ha …
Oh! Was I Analyzing You?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 20th, 2018
Dear Therapist: I am struggling with a problem I fear is most uncommon. I have recently started practicing as a therapist. This is a positive thing, or at least it should be. My concern is that some friends of mine from the past have begun to resent speaking with me because they feel that I will automatically treat them as clients. This is mostly, but not limited to, secret or personal events in their lives. My question is, as therapists what are …
Balancing Parents' and Children's Needs
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
August 23rd, 2018
Dear Therapist: My husband and I have been struggling with our 17-year-old son. He is not currently in yeshiva and his shmiras hamitzvos leaves a lot to be desired. We have been getting advice from some rabbonim with experience in this area and have been meeting with a therapist for the last few months. All agree that, at this time, we should not be pushing or forcing our son when it comes to his Yiddishkeit. The issue is that my husband ca …