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Yated Ne'eman Q&A
Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW Weekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'eman
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Is It Sympathy, Empathy, Or Secondary Trauma?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 13th, 2024

Dear Therapist: As a teacher, I've noticed that some of my high school students seem to be experiencing the weight of their friends' struggles. There is a student in my tenth-grade class who is going through a very hard time. Her family situation at home isn't easy and she is showing signs of unhealthy eating habits. We are aware that this student is struggling, and we are working on finding ways to help her. Recently, I noticed that her best fri …
Support Group Or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 13th, 2024

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly insights. I am looking for some help due to a loss in my family and I was offered a support group by a local organization. I am also considering a private therapist. Can you please explain the differences and benefits of one over the other? Do you have an opinion as to which is better in this situation?    Response: I’m sorry that you lost someone close to you. Of course, it’ …
How Involved Should I Be in My Son's Marriage?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 13th, 2024

Dear Therapist: My son recently got married and I am a bit concerned about how he is treating his wife. It's nothing major but I see his immaturity and lack of awareness about living and thinking about someone else. Most people advise me to stay out of it and let them grow up together. I'm not so sure about that. I am worried about the damage that could be done to their relationship if I just let it go. I would appreciate hearing your opinions as …
Are My Headaches "Real?"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 13th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have suffered from migraine headaches for a few years. I have tried a bunch of different types of treatments and have seen all sorts of doctors. Somethings have helped a little, some not at all, and some for a short time but it didn't last. I am wondering if there is some possible help to be had from psychology in this area? I have definitely heard of psychology for back pain, can it work for headaches also?    Respons …
Divorce Therapist?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 14th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Without going into the gory details my husband and are having serious problems in our marriage. We have been married 10 years and have 3 children...Some have suggested that we go for therapy as a couple. This might be a good idea but others have warned us not to because "therapists will wind up pushing you to get divorced." Things are bad but this is not what we want at all. Can you please give us some guidance (reassurance?) rega …
Defense Mechanisms and Emotional Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 15th, 2023

Dear Therapist: For many years I was in a relationship with a very challenging family member.  There were very compelling reasons why I was unable to set appropriate limits in this relationship and therefore made the choice to just swallow, give in and avoid confrontations.  It's quite a few years later now and even though I am a pretty positive person I started to feel worse about these very trying years. I realized that I need help pr …
Teachers' Referrals--Take Two
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 15th, 2023

Dear Therapist: As a rebbe I am often asked to make recommendations for what type of help is best for a bochur. When a child or teenager is struggling socially (but otherwise a pretty normal kid), what type of help is best for him? Is it social skills training? Help with social anxiety? Or is he just maybe an introvert that is best left alone? I know that you can't answer for a child you never met but I am wondering if you could give so …
Moody Kids
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 15th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I had a question I hoped you could help me with. My 11-year-old son is a bit moody. Usually when he is able to talk to me about what is bothering him, we work through it, he does really well and feels better. The problem is it takes a while for him to finally open up. He first says he doesn't want to talk about it and it takes a while for me to get it out of him. Then when he finally does, he usually feels better right away. The i …
Teachers' Referrals
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 15th, 2023

Dear Therapist: As a high school teacher, I often have the opportunity to speak to my students on a one-on-one basis. I would love guidance on differentiating between a teenager going through regular ups and downs and needing some advice and a listening ear, and a girl who is struggling in a way that warrants professional help. Additionally, in your experience is there a way to get the girl on board to get the help she needs if she does not want/ …
Work To Live or Live to Work?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 16th, 2017

Dear Therapist: Hi, Thank you for your column. Since parnassa pressure is something we all face, I hope you will print my question. I am the mother of a growing family, BH, and like most women today, my income is essential. Perhaps my husband is learning and I am the primary breadwinner. Or perhaps my husband is working, but his income covers basics while mine pays the tuition. Either way, the pressure that I am feeling to increase my income as m …
Parenting Beyond Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 16th, 2018

Dear Therapist: My son (age 26) was diagnosed with anxiety by our family physician a few years back. I took him to a psychiatrist and he was given medication. He does very well when he is on the medication but I find he constantly skips doses. Even more concerning is that without telling me he will try and take himself off the medicine to see how he can do without it. I will often notice that he isn’t doing well and will confront him and re …
Leaving the Past in the Past
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 18th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I really was not doing well during my mesivta years. I got into a lot of trouble and was a bit out of control. Baruch Hashem, I found myself the right yeshiva and I am really doing good now. I have cleaned up a lot of the issues that I was having trouble with in the past. Over the years people had pushed me to go to therapy but I was never really interested. Now, my parents are bringing it up again and I am more ope …
Am I a Hypochondriac?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 1st, 2017

Dear Therapist: I go through periods of time when I am consumed with worry about my health. I will be OK for a few months but then I wind up spending all day convinced that I have some sort of horrible illness. I wish I would be able to function normally. Why is this happening to me, and what can I do to stop it?   Response: There can be numerous triggers for fears related to health.  From a clinical perspective, Illness Anxiety Disorde …
Emotions "Inherited"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 21st, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am an adult and I have a problem. I get extremely impatient to the point of becoming highly aggravated when sitting at drawn-out events. For example, sitting at a Shabbos meal at a relative’s house gets me nervous if they extend it too long. Waiting at a doctor’s office or at a line in a supermarket can almost put me into a rage. I can't hang around too long at a wedding if I am not doing anything there. I am an adul …
Can Therapy Hurt My Family?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have a son who would like to see a therapist to deal with some issues. I think it would be beneficial for him but I am concerned that therapy might damage his relationship with my wife and myself. Every parent makes mistakes and I am sure we have as well, but I am worried by the sentiment I hear expressed that therapists "estrange" children from their parents. Can you please clear this up for me and perhaps give me some ideas as …
Therapy? Never Again!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have a friend who has a very serious problem with her shalom bayis. Her husband started going to therapy to try to help the marriage. She has a very long list of complaints against her husband, but she admits that she also has faults and she's not innocent. When I asked her why she doesn't go to therapy she told me she can't even think of it. She had gone for a lot of therapy in her late teens/early twenties  …
Teletherapy or In-Person Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2024

Dear Therapist: What advantages and disadvantages come with receiving therapy in person versus using an online platform? If a therapist offers both options, which should I choose? I would assume that in person would be more effective but sometimes maybe it would be easier to share through a screen? Aside from convenience, are there any other factors that I should be taking into consideration when choosing a venue for psychotherapy?   Respons …
Homesickness...Bring Them Home Or Not?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 6th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Our daughter went to seminary in Israel this year. This was something she had very much wanted and was looking forward to. Basically, since Succos she has been telling us how miserable she is and that she wants to come home. She is too old to be homesick and I’m not sure what is going on. She has never been the most independent girl but I didn’t think she would have such a problem there. The mechanchos in the seminary …
Sibling Rivalry
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I boruch Hashem have two very wonderful young boys, ages 9 and 7. They fight a lot. I find that I am constantly refereeing their fighting. Part of me wants to just let them deal with it themselves but they wind up coming and crying to me at some point. I have no idea how I am supposed to judge and arbitrate 15 disagreements a day.  Please give me some tips on how to manage this.   Response: You presented your concern ver …
Therapist Vs. Psychiatrist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: My wife has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She has been seeing a therapist who has been treating her using cognitive behavioral therapy. She has not made that much improvement and our family doctor suggested she see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is recommending that she take medication to help with this. However, her therapist is strongly discouraging taking medication and is adamant that she has the strength with …
Anxiety or ADHD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I have always struggled in several areas such as concentration, inability to complete projects, and too much talking. I have read articles about this and some seem to suggest that this is about anxiety while others indicate that it is ADHD related. How do I differentiate between these two possibilities?   Response: There are many symptoms that can apply to various disorders. Sometimes it can be difficult to ascertain which p …
NVLD Anyone?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I was recently at a meeting at my son's yeshiva and was told that my son should be evaluated by a neuropsychologist. When I asked why, the principal suggested that he should be tested to see if he has a nonverbal learning disability. I have scheduled an appointment, but was curious what this condition is, how it would present with a frum boy in yeshiva, and what can be done about it. I am looking for practical suggestions that ca …
Unlicensed "Therapist"
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: My sister-in-law sees an unlicensed therapist. This concerns me and I asked my sister-in-law about it who assured me that the therapist has very solid training and good results and she is happy with her. This doesn't sound right or ethical to me, but I am not sure what to do, if anything. I would appreciate the thoughts of the panel members.   Response: Generally speaking, it’s not ethical for someone who is unlicensed …
Is My Daughter Addicted to Painkillers?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I am writing regarding my 28-year-old daughter who has a slipped disc. She is in chronic pain and nothing seems to be working (PT, etc.). Surgery has been suggested but we are trying to avoid it because of the inherent risks. My husband and I are becoming more and more concerned about her use of pain medication. Some of the medicine she has been prescribed is highly addictive and we are concerned about her developing a real issue …
Bipolar or Normal Mood Swings
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I often experience what seem like dramatic mood changes. One day I'll wake up with loads of energy ready to take on the world and the next I will sit in bed trying to convince myself to get out of bed. I am sometimes full of joy and optimism and other times just retreat into myself. My friends joke that I am "bipolar." I asked my doctor about it and his response was something to the effect of, "We all have our ups and downs" and …
Will I Always Have Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I am 46 and have been living with anxiety my entire life. Every few years I go back to therapy for a while until I start feeling better. Then I stop with my therapist and it gets me through a year or two then it gets bad again and I wind up back in therapy again. I tried medication for a while a few years back but the side effects weren't really worth it. I have done 2 rounds of CBT where I analyzed my thinking patterns and how th …
The Pre-school Whisperer
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 8th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I am a pre-school Morah in the local Yeshiva. There is a boy in my class who never talks above a whisper. This has been going on since the beginning of the school year. While the parents insist that the child is just shy I am convinced that this is more than that. Can you please give me an idea of where the line is between shyness and a more serious problem? I would also appreciate any strategies you can suggest in convincing the …
My Roommate Has OCD
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist:  I have a question I would like to hear your opinion on. I am an American bachur learning in Eretz Yisroel and I share a dirah with 5 other bachurim. In general, we try to keep the dirah clean, including a thorough cleaning once a week. About half a year ago we took in a bachur that apparently has major OCD. Every night after everyone else goes to sleep he gets to work sprayin …
My Therapist Decided That I Have an Eating Disorder
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist: Thank you for allowing us to gain so much from your collective wisdom each week. I'm in my fifties and watch my weight pretty carefully. I have a normal BMI. I avoid all the bad food at my workplace and stick to my healthy diet instead. Shabbos is my day off. My eating habits recently came up in therapy. My therapist felt that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  She said I should not be limiting my eating this way. S …
Opposites Attract...Or Not
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 13th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I am in my low 20's and have OCD and Anxiety. Baruch Hashem, I am more or less stable as I am in college, and holding down a job at the same time. My question is: In a Shidduch, do you think I should look for someone who’s similar to me- someone who also has Anxiety or some other disorder, or should I rather look for someone who’s "regular" without those kinds of challenges? (Honestly, I would prefer someone who doesn' …
Depression or Normal Reaction?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 15th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Thank you to the Yated for this excellent column which I read weekly. I am writing regarding my father. My father is an extremely bright person and a professional who has been working the same job for many years. As he has recently entered his 60’s I notice that he just seems to be very down. My youngest sister recently got married and there is no one living at home any more. I also see that the younger people seem to be adv …
Why can't I remember what I learn?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have been enjoying this column in the Yated very much. I was wondering if you would be able to help me out. I’m going through a very hard period. I’m only 28 years old and I’m realizing that I have an issue in retaining information that I learn. I’m realizing it now because I got a job and it’s really affecting my job. I am slowly getting very very down on myself and I no longer have any interest in …
Self-Confidence and Religiosity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: My 15-year-old son has always been a bit shy and nervous. Not the bravest kid, he doesn't really take chances or challenge things. BH, he is a good kid and is doing well in mesivta. His 2 older brothers have struggled a lot with their yiddishkeit. Our son now would like to go to therapy to help him be calmer and more confident.  A lot of his worries have a frumkeit aspect to it. He seems to look up to his …
Is Therapy a Dating Red Flag?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I am dating a girl who disclosed to me that she has been seeing a therapist for the last year. She seems like a good girl and she said the things she went to therapy for are not significant. She gave me permission to speak directly with her therapist and signed a form allowing me to do so. My question/concern is how reliable will the information I get from the therapist be? Can you give me some advice on what type of questions to …
Rebellious Teenager
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: We are writing this out of deep frustration in the hope that you will have some guidance for us. Our 16-year-old son has become rebellious and has been out of yeshiva the whole year. He seemingly spends his days and nights getting into trouble and living completely not like a mensch. He keeps crazy hours,  dresses strange, has very few friends. and in general, is not being matzliach. My husband and I pride ours …
Presumption of Therapeutic Obstacles
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I'm a thirty-year-old wife and mother who's been recommended for therapy by my rov to address trauma and a difficult childhood. I am concerned about some obstacles that I think will come up—and that I have heard from others—and am curious if the panelists have any solutions.  Being that the average session time is 45-50 minutes, how is it feasible to get anywhere in therapy? It takes a good fifteen minut …
Dual Relationships and Expertise
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I was advised to see a therapist for our son for a certain issue. When getting the referral we were told that a specific therapist is a mumcheh in this area. The issue is that he lives in our neighborhood and davens in our shul. We don’t really have anything to do with him personally but my son is very uncomfortable with the idea that he would bump into him. Our question is if you think this is a concern? …
Medication Compliance
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: Our 18-year-old daughter was prescribed medication for depression and we think that it makes a real difference for her. Unfortunately, she starts and stops taking it pretty much whenever she wants. We have discussed this with her therapist but get the sense that the therapist doesn't want to waste the whole session talking about medication compliance. That being said we are concerned that this might be unhealthy for her and certai …
Community Feud
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: We live in a small neighborhood where everyone knows each other and gets along very well. Recently two families that we know and are friendly with became embroiled in a serious machlokes with each other. I do not think the specific details are necessary to share and I want to protect confidentiality but this is not an issue that someone just didn't get shlishi. It is hard to figure out what is actually even the trut …
My Brother Has Schizophrenia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have been hesitant to write for a while because this is not a scenario that most people deal with. My son, who has always had mental health issues, was recently diagnosed with psychosis - the doctors say most likely he has some form schizophrenia. This is not so shocking to us because, like I said, he has been struggling for a while. We are hopeful that with the right treatment he will be able to live a full and productive life …
Self-Esteem-Based Opinions
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I'm in my early fifties, married with children and grandchildren. Problem is I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I don't have good self-esteem and not sure of my opinions. I don't express my emotions, maybe I don't trust them. You can even see in my walk that I am nervous/not confident (at least I think so). I grew up in a house without shalom bayis. What can I do now, at this stage of life, to help myself? Thank yo …
Self-Esteem and Emotional Reactivity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
Generational Resiliency
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I'm in my low thirties and my oldest children are now in their early teens. Due to increased awareness and education, my friends and I focus on parenting with more positivity, empathy, validation, communication, and emotional awareness than the previous generation. Our parents expected more from us than we expect from our children, and we usually had to do what was right even if we didn't feel like it. Recently, I'm noticing a dis …
Are my issues conscious or unconscious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 25th, 2017

Dear Therapist: One of the panelists recently mentioned that “the source of the problem needs to be uncovered and healed” in order to really feel safe and secure. I’ve been wondering for a while how this is actually done in therapy. I’m married in my twenties with some kids and have been struggling with general anxiety. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now and she’s really helped me a lot on …
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 25th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am a single boy who has been dating for 4 years. Whenever I start dating I get tremendous pressure from my parents to get married. I can’t think straight when I am dating because of all the pressure; of course, the shaddchanim join in as well. I have started saying no to any shidduchim that are read to me because I can’t put myself through this again. My parents seem to think that all the girls I have dated are prett …
Can I Pay for Your Therapy?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: I have a friend who is really struggling and after many conversations he has finally agreed to go to therapy. We did a lot of research and have found some therapists that would suit him. Unfortunately he cannot afford to pay for therapy. I have offered to pay for therapy but the therapist does not want to allow us to do so. He says he believes that it is important for the patient to pay for therapy themselves and that it is not a …
Addiction in the Jewish Community
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: My question is short, but not so simple. I am an addict. Being an addict is very challenging, painful and lonely, but it’s extra difficult to suffer from this disease in the Jewish community. It’s such a stigma and I have to hide my whole life from everyone. My question is, how can I learn to accept and love myself, to forgive myself for all the wrong I’ve done when I know that if people knew I am an addict, I wo …
Teasing or Bullying?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
January 9th, 2025

Dear Therapist: My 5th grade boy does not seem to be able to discern between playful teasing and really being bullied. When his friends tease him, his reaction is way out of proportion, which only leads to more problems with his friends because they find his reaction so overblown. My son doesn't seem to get it and complains to me that he is being "bullied." How can I help him see the difference, and get along better with his friends?   Respo …
I Don't Get No (Self) Respect!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 11th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I recently realized that I am never happy with myself. I used to think that if I learned well, did a good shidduch, was top of my class, and was successful, then I would finally feel worthwhile. I was recently complaining to a friend and he pointed out to me that objectively things are really good right now and if I feel so bad all the time, I should probably get help.  It was a bit jarring to me honestly. I am starting …
Tragedy and Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 11th, 2024

Dear Therapist: Recently there have been few shocking tragedies in my area. Each one has been very sudden, unexpected, and jarring in its own way. This is on top of the overall tzaros that have been happening in Eretz Yisroel since Succos. I find that for the last few weeks I am constantly on edge. Of course, I have been taking hisorerus from rabbonim and I try to be mechazek myself as much a …
Do I Have Psychosis?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 11th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have a friend at work that was acting strangely and my coworkers are saying he "snapped." I am not sure what this means. Someone said this means he has psychosis. What is the meaning of psychosis? Is this something that can happen suddenly to someone without warning? I myself have gone to therapy in the past for anxiety and baruch Hashem I am doing very well but I am worried about something like this happening to me. I …
Spanking: Punishment or Abuse?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 12th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I am worried about how my husband interacts with our children. Most of the time he is great but when he is stressed out he can really be difficult. He yells a lot and on occasion potches the kids. He says there is nothing wrong with that and that it was never considered wrong for a father to potch and is part of chinuch. I think it's horrible and will ruin the children emotionally. Can you please settle this issue for us?   R …
Insomniac
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I have a problem falling asleep so I take sleeping pills. They leave me feeling groggy throughout the day. My question, dear panelists, is: is it better to lie in bed awake until I’d fall asleep naturally, if ever, and be tired the next day, or to sleep with the pills and be tired the next day?   Response: As a non-prescriber, I cannot speak to the effects of various medications, whether over-the-counter or prescribed. …
Depression in Childhood
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: It is scary to hear about kids/teenagers who looked like they were fine but were really suffering emotionally or dealing with very difficult issues that no one was aware of. My friend’s daughter, who is now older, recently told her that she was dealing with some serious depressive thoughts as a teen but had kept it all in and pretended to be happy on the outside. Is it possible that something as significant as depression ca …
Summer Camp and Homesickness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Our 11-year-old son is going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer. While he is excited about this he has always had difficulty adjusting to new situations and environments. Meaning he has a bit of an anxious personality. That being the case we are wondering if you have any advice as to how to "prevent" homesickness? What can we do to best prepare him for his first sleepaway experience? I also wonder what you think of …
Fear of Illness
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I work as a social worker in a New York area hospital. I work closely with patients and families of some very sick people. I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for anything. Every year, around the same time (early summer) my anxiety about becoming ill really ratchets up. I have discussed this with supervisors and fellow clinicians and have come to understand this as being something that comes along with the territory of my job …
Misophonia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I have this "thing" where I get filled with extreme rage, frustration, and hate from hearing certain sounds like chewing loud, slurping, whistling, wiggling of feet, snoring... These sounds drive me crazy to the point where I need to leave the room or I might just yell at the person causing the trigger. People think I'm just finicky and I have to learn to deal with these noises. When I mentioned this to a friend, they said it sou …
My Father-in-Law's Ultimatum
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: My husband and I are faced with the following situation and we're stumped as to what to tell our children. Our family was always very close to my parents in law and their children at home. My father in law is a controlling person. He thinks the world is against him. He doesn't talk to most of his married kids because he thinks they don't "hold" of him. My husband and I are close to the married siblings. My father in law recently …
Should I Stop my Meds?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager and have been on medication since then. While I am doing well and have not had any episodes in a long time I have not been successful in work or in shidduchim. I feel that the medication stifles my personality and makes me less of who I really am. I have discussed this with my psychiatrist, but he just tries to push me off. I think I am ready to move off my medication and move o …
Stress or Anxiety?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: A few months ago, I bought out my partner who I started my business with. B’H things have gone better than I could have ever imagined. Recently, however, I have become very overwhelmed trying to stay on top of the growth of the company. I have mentioned to some friends and family how I have been feeling and I am met with a lot of flak for complaining about something that is a positive thing. I understand that, but the fact …
Anti Vaxxers
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: As everyone not living under a rock is aware, there has recently been an outbreak of measles in the frum community. While most of you are not medical doctors I was hoping you can help me from a psychological perspective. How can it be that something like vaccines that are considered safe and necessary by 99.9 percent of the medical community and somehow people have a cramp in their head against it? How are we to understand this p …
Mindfulness Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 19th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I am a working mother of 6 beautiful children bh, and I am dealing with the regular life stresses that come from parnassah, shalom bayis, and running a family etc.  A friend of mine suggested something called "mindfulness" as a way to help me ease the stress. I have looked into it and am wondering if this is something that is used by the frum therapists? Also, do I need to actually see a therapist who is trained in this (for …
My Narcissistic Son
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 25th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I am writing this letter with great difficulty. I am a Holocaust survivor who had two children. One of them died of serious illness. My second child was showered with everything. He has not visited me in years because since I am widowed I am on a limited income and he feels should be getting more money from me. My son has never worked as he claims he is always learning. His spouse earns over one hundred thousand dollars a year an …
My Daughter's Addiction Is Her Fault...Isn't It?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 26th, 2017

Dear Therapist: Without getting into the gory details, my daughter is currently being treated for a substance abuse addiction. My husband and I are trying to be supportive of her while understanding that it is going to take time. We are being told that we are supposed to view this as an “illness” just like any other mental health or physical illness, such as depression or heart disease. I can’t for the life of me understand how …
Peer Pressure in Adolescents
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 26th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am very concerned about the group of friends that my 14-year-old son has chosen. He has changed a lot for the worse since they started hanging out. It's a whole "pack" that spends all their time together and they are all negative influences on each other. The mesivta is struggling to try and figure out how to deal with them. I am hopeful that you could suggest a way that we could separate him from them. All our requests, pleas, …
Friends vs. Relatives
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I’ve always felt more myself around my friends than with family. With friends, I feel understood and comfortable. With family, it’s more tense—I feel judged or like I have to be careful.
Recently, I chose to go to a close friend’s simcha instead of a family event, and my family was really upset. They said I was choosing friends over family, and maybe I was. But the truth is, I often feel more emotionally connected to my …
Overthinking...or Just Thinking?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I’ve always been the type to think a lot—about people, situations, conversations, and about “life” in general. Sometimes I pick up on things others don’t, and I think that’s a strength. But it also makes me anxious and depressed. I also tend to be a little cynical. I replay things in my head, overanalyze, and sometimes get sad and discouraged when I look at what is going on around me.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m jus …
Anxiety and Stuttering
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: As the parent of a smart, kind, and good-hearted son who is about to enter shidduchim, I’ve started to feel concerned about something I’ve noticed for a while.When he’s under stress or feeling anxious, especially when things are emotionally charged—he either stutters a lot or has a hard time communicating clearly. He often shuts down, and it takes time and effort to coax out what’s really going on. It’s not that he doe …
My Husband Wants Out--Until the Baby Turns Twelve?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: We recently had our first baby, and while baruch Hashem everything went smoothly, it’s definitely been an adjustment. Right now, we’re staying at my parents’ house for a little extra support, which has helped a lot.
Lately, my husband mentioned that he’s thinking about sleeping at our apartment some nights so he can get better rest. He says it would help him function better during the day and be more present. I understa …
Picky Eater
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: My son is in 11th grade, and he’s always been a picky eater—but it hasn’t improved with age. He does eat regularly and while he is skinny is basically a normal weight, so it’s not about body image or restricting food. But his diet is extremely limited: a few specific foods, no variety, and no interest in trying anything new.It makes supper, and Shabbos meals hard. He won’t eat at other people’s homes and sometimes skip …
My Israel Disappointment
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 29th, 2025

Dear Therapist: I was supposed to go to Eretz Yisroel this summer—something I earned as a reward and that I have been looking forward to for a long time. But with the current situation, the trip was cancelled, and even though I completely understand why, I’m having a very hard time dealing with it.I feel disappointed, frustrated, and even a little embarrassed, like I was all ready for something that just got taken away. It isn’t the fi …
Are We All Addicts?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 31st, 2019

Dear Therapist: What qualifies something as an addiction? My brother plays video games all day. Does that make him an addict? My mother shops all day. Is she addicted to shopping? It seems like the word addiction gets thrown around a lot these days but when is it really a true thing and when is it just an excuse for continuing behavior that you don't want to stop? I get that cigarettes, alcohol and the like are considered addicting but are we to …
Why Are Teenagers Rebellious?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 5th, 2017

Dear Therapist: My 18-year-old son has been going through a very difficult time recently. He has been acting very rebellious and his yiddishkeit is suffering tremendously. We have been advised by many rabbonim and others that the key is for my wife and me to retain our relationship with him and unconditionally love him. Though he has not shown us that he is very responsible, we did not put up a fight and allowed him to get his driver’s lice …
My Therapist Abandoned Me
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
July 5th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column, I really enjoy the panelists’ responses. I have decided to seek therapy because of my eating habits and low self-esteem. I started seeing a therapist with whom I was very happy and I enjoyed going every week. After around two months the therapist informed me that she will be opening her own private practice and referred me to a different therapist. I had a very hard time with this as …
Terrorist Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 14th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have tremendous anxiety from the news, especially nowadays when there are so many videos of terror attacks and other terrible things. I saw a video of a terror attack and I think about it all the time. I had this problem a few years ago but it didn't bother me again until recently. Whenever I go to Manhattan I am so afraid of something terrible happening. Please give me advice on how to deal with this.   Response: There are …
The Condescending Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 14th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am a 19-year-old bachur in a top yeshiva. I have tremendous emotional difficulties: anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive looping, and depression. I also struggle with trauma and an unhealthy childhood. While I was skeptical of therapy, I decided to give it a try. I saw a highly recommended therapist for 8 months and found it to be a disappointing experience.  While it helped me gain clarity about myself and a brilliant underst …
Duration of Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 16th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I don't know if this is a fair question, and I am sure it varies greatly depending on the situation, but can you please give your opinion as to what the average length of time in therapy should be for someone? In my case specifically I am not referring to trauma or a serious mood disorder rather social and generalized anxiety (though please feel free to address other disorders as well). When I called around, I got very varied answ …
Balancing Childrens' Needs
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 16th, 2022

Dear Therapist: ​ Our 9-year-old daughter was recently diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. This has been very difficult adjustment for her and she is having a very hard time sticking to the diet and medication regimen that she has been prescribed. She also has been complaining a lot of the unfairness of it all. We have a large family and this has also caused some friction between her and her siblings and we are struggling to maintain the balance …
His Therapist, Her Therapist, Their Therapist
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 21st, 2017

Dear Therapist: My wife and I began seeing a therapist a few months ago. After a few weeks the therapist suggested that my wife begin seeing a therapist by herself (in addition to together with me) to help her with her anxiety. Now our therapist has suggested that in addition I begin seeing another therapist to deal with some issues of my past. It's not like we started this because of a massive issue; we just had some things we needed to work on …
My Son's Unhappiness
Author:
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Our son had a rough few years—emotionally, socially, and in his yiddishkeit. Over the past 2 years in yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel there was a real turnaround. He connected with his rebbeim, grew in his learning, and seemed more stable and happier overall. We were so grateful to see him in a better place.
He came home for Pesach and has been back since, and little by little, we’re seeing some of the old patte …
Obsessive Thinking
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Lately I’ve been noticing how much pressure I put on myself to do things right. Even small things, like cooking for Shabbos or writing a thank-you note, start to feel stressful—like there’s one correct way to do it, and if I don’t get it perfect, it reflects badly on me. I end up procrastinating or overthinking things that really shouldn’t be so complicated.
People probably see me as responsible and on t …
Is My Relationship Too Intense?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful column.
I’m curious about how to understand the difference between a close, meaningful friendship and one that may be overly dependent or emotionally intense. In close relationships, it’s natural to want to spend time together and share thoughts and experiences—but is there a point where that closeness becomes unhealthy?
What are some signs that an attachment to a friend …
To Medicate or Not To Medicate?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
What is your opinion on taking medication for anxiety? I’ve tried quite a few therapists over the years, but it didn’t really help. Recently, my mother brought up the idea of taking medication, but I feel weird about it.
I’ve been going to therapy privately, and I’m pretty sure other people my age do too. But taking pills feels like a different level—like something more serious.
What’s your take on using medi …
Tough Love or Enough Love
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist: B”H Hashem has blessed us with many wonderful grandchildren. The other blessing is that they enjoy spending time with us.My husband is a caring, generous, loving, and devoted grandfather.
He often criticizes the teenage boys. Although they take it in good stride it bothers me very much. I feel he should be complimenting them much more. Every teenage boy needs chizuk and that should be our main goal. My husband says …
My Husband's Therapy is Making Me Insecure
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist:
My husband recently started going to therapy, and I can see that it’s been good for him. He seems calmer and more focused, and I know he’s working on himself. I really do want to be supportive and I’m glad it’s helping him—but at the same time, it leaves me a bit lost.
He’s thinking differently, approaching things in new ways, and meanwhile I feel like I’m still in the same place. It’s not that I’m against …
You're Better Than Me!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 23rd, 2025

Dear Therapist: Over Yom Tov, I was by a few different families, and I found myself constantly comparing myself to them. One family had such a calm atmosphere, another had a beautiful home, and everyone just seemed so confident, happy, and “put together.” I couldn’t help but compare it to my own life—and walk away feeling like I’m behind, or like I’m not enough. I am not sure if it's just me but I definitely have a tendency to do …
Childhood Obesity
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 25th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your insightful column each week. I gain a tremendous amount from your suggestions and advice. I am hoping that you can guide us. We B'H have a wonderful almost 10-year-old son; he is a fantastic kid, smart, conscientious, studious, well-behaved, bright, a real baal middos and a budding talmid chacham. He brings us a tremendous amount of nachas. The problem is that he likes to ea …
Inappropriate Touching and Safety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 26th, 2024

Dear Therapist: As we begin the season can you please share your general recommendations as to how parents should talk to their children about safety in the summer. Many parents (hopefully) know the basics, but I wonder if, based on your experiences, there are ways to discuss things that people don't know. Or maybe there are some things that people don't realize they should talk about with their kids.  I think this would be a public service …
Delayed Traumatic Reaction
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 26th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I really appreciate your weekly column. What happens if a someone goes through trauma at home and doesn't take care of it—meaning, go for help.  If they're fine, could they stay fine? I am worried because many people say it comes back in later years. Thank you!   Response: The simple answer is yes; someone who experiences a “trauma” can be fine. However, this depends on a number of factors. Th …
Aliyah-phobia
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 26th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have a silly fear of getting an aliyah. I have actually heard others that have it as well. This is even though I actually don't have an issue with doing other things in public. In the past I have managed to "white knuckle" it when I needed to but recently, I have found myself slipping out of shul during laining to try and avoid it. I do well otherwise and have no traumas or anything like that in my life. I am wond …
Bad Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 26th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have heard my friends discussing an idea developed by an author concerning "bad therapy." I presume that means there is bad therapy and good therapy. Would appreciate if the panel would state their opinions on the difference between helpful and unhelpful therapy. What is the best way for someone who is considering therapy to tell the difference?    Response: I haven’t read Abigail Shrier’s book, but I …
Sensitive Children
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 28th, 2018

Dear Therapist: My son is a very sensitive boy and every time I tell him “no” or reprimand him for something, as I would to any of my other children, he always looks deeply hurt. Should I treat him differently than, or the same as, my other children? I feel that in life he will have to deal with “no”s and not everything will go his way and people will tell him off. Am I correct in my judgment?   Response: Your questio …
BDD, OCD, or Normal Teenage Concern About Appearance?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2017

Dear Therapist: My 13 year old son is very busy with how he looks. He is my oldest so it's hard for me to get a sense of what's normal for this age. My friends say it's just a stage but I am worried about it becoming a problem. He has taken up exercising and dieting and is very into it. He spends quite a bit of time each day getting dressed. He has made a few cracks to my husband about how he looks. I would appreciate any guidance you can give me …
Psychedelics
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I experienced a lot of serious trauma as a teenager. Now, years later I still suffer greatly from it. Someone recommended "ketamine assisted psychotherapy." I was wondering what your opinion of this is and if you would recommend it.   Response: Hallucinogenics have recently become increasingly popular, both in general and in conjunction with therapy. Specifically, with regard to trauma therapy various drugs with hallucinogeni …
Why My Kid's Grades Are Deteriorating
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I appreciate your weekly column and have learned a lot from it. I had a question regarding what type of evaluation you would recommend for a child who has shown a significant reduction in grades from one year to the next. This is for a child coming out of 3rd grade who has no major other history of issues. Someone suggested a speech therapist for a language eval, others are saying a neuropsych eval, and yet others are recomme …
My 17-Year-Old Thinks I Don't Understand Her!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: Our daughter (she is 17 years old and a bit moody) has recently begun complaining to us that we don't understand her and that we have no relationship with her. This seems to be a common teenage complaint but she is being very persistent that this is a problem. To be honest I can't say that she doesn't have something of a point, but I don't believe that the fault lies completely with us. We are seeking advice from a few sources but …
Medical Anxiety
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have always been a bit of an anxious person, particularly when it comes to my health and the health of my family. For a while I was pretty obsessive and was constantly going to doctors "just to make sure" I was ok. Any little ache or pain I made an appointment and had it looked at. At some point in my life, I realized that I was making myself (and my doctors) crazy and I learned to control myself, essentially learning to ignore …
Fight-or-Flight and Compartmentalization
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: My family has gone through several major challenges over the past few years, including losing a close relative due to Covid as well as a series of other challenges. Now bh it seems that life has finally settled back to normal, but it feels hard for me to relax out of emergency mode because that's where I've been for so long. I feel like part of me is just waiting for the next challenge to arrive. How can I help myself get the …
Irresponsible Teenager; How Unusual!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I enjoy reading your column and value your insights. We are making a decision regarding whether to allow our 18-year-old son to be a counselor in camp this year. This is something he very much wants to do and there are aspects I think he will be good at it. However, he struggles a lot with responsibility throughout the year. He is notoriously unreliable, has trouble waking up in the morning, and you can't count on him for anything …
Perfectionism: Good or Bad?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I have been told for a while by others that I have "perfectionistic" tendencies. I am bh doing very well but I do have a significant amount of stress in my life. I struggle with the idea of "perfectionism" being a bad thing. Shouldn't we always be looking for growth, excellence, and to be the best we have to be? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism and how does one tell the difference?   …
Productivity Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …
Glass Half Empty? Completely Empty?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I feel like my life is like Murphy’s law. Whatever could go wrong has. I have trouble with parnassah, trouble with my health, and difficulty with my children. I have worked so hard on all these things but to no avail. At this point I would take just one of them being better. Things just seem really bleak, and they have been for a while. A therapist wouldn’t convince me that things are better than they are, and it …
Does My Brother Really Have Asperger's?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your informative column. I really enjoy it, especially as I am currently in school for social work. My younger brother was recently diagnosed with autism “spectrum” disorder. I think my parents always had a hard time with him and they seem relieved that they found a “name” for his issues. I am worried because I really don’t see that much that is wrong with him and I am concerned …
Is My Daughter-in-Law Spoiled?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 29th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I am facing a dilemma and I am turning to you for advice. I am, baruch Hashem, a mother of many boys, most of whom are married. When I married off my sons, I bought their kallas basic standard gifts and jewelry. Most of my daughters-in-law were thrilled with the gifts I bought them. Some were happy with the gifts as they were and some went so far as to ask me if I could just leave …
Will My Therapist Report Me?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 7th, 2018

Dear Therapist: There is a specific issue that I have been holding in for a long time. I understand that it is something that is very serious and needs to be discussed with a therapist. The issue is that it is a very serious thing that I am worried will need to be brought to the attention of the authorities. This is something I don’t want to happen. So, I am stuck, not getting the help that I need. Obviously, I can’t be specific …
My Wife Spends All My Money!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 7th, 2018

Dear Therapist: I know this sounds almost cliché but I can’t get my wife to stop spending money. Sounds like a bad joke no? I work hard and make a very nice living but she seems to have no awareness of financial responsibility. Whenever I speak to her she feels bad about it but it doesn’t really stop her. I don’t want to turn this into a huge fight, and she is sensitive to confrontation, but I’m telling you it&rsquo …
Confidentiality Breached
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
June 9th, 2017

Dear Therapist: I have been seeing a therapist for the last few weeks. Recently, while I was waiting for my appointment in the waiting room, I overheard him discussing another patient on the phone. The door to his office was wide open and he knew I was there because he had buzzed me into the waiting room. Since then I just don't feel comfortable speaking with him because maybe he discusses me when there are other people listening. The problem is …
Medication or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have a specific fear that I have a hard time with but it isn't something that I really have to face very frequently. Let's say it's flying. It's not something I do very often but when I need to it's really hard. I was prescribed a medication I can take from my doctor and I can use it before flying and I feel ok. Is this a good enough way to deal with it or would it be better to invest in therapy to get rid of the fear? Would the …
What, Me Intellectualize? Well, Come to Think of it...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have been wondering about a friend who is very smart but is still struggles with motivation. He has been confiding in me recently but I think that he is very focused on philosophical reasons for his unhappiness, like the purpose of life, but doesn't pay enough attention to his emotions. It's hard to tell really but I am wondering if you could give me some pointers in how to steer him for the proper help. Thanks.   Response: …
Therapy? Very Funny!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column. I enjoy hearing your different perspectives. I was wondering if lekavod Purim you could share your thoughts on humor and mental health. Does a good sense of humor help people in dealing with difficulties? How does this work? Is this something that can be developed or do you either have it or not? Additionally, I think for most of us we imagine therapy as a serious somber thing, i …
Do Genetics Determine Mental Health?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2017

Dear Therapist, I have an older (half) brother who has a serious mental condition. I'm not sure exactly what it is but he has often had to go to the hospital for a few days till he gets "stabilized". My parents don't really like to talk about it and I try not to bother them with it. I think there are also some other people in my mother’s family who have mental issues. My question is:  People have told me (and I have also read online) t …
Infertility Depression
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have been married for a long while with no children. There is a possibility that we will never be able to have children. Recently I have been extremely depressed about it, although still functioning through daily life. I do not feel therapy can help such an awful emotional situation but my wife disagrees. Who does the panel side with?   Response: I’m sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. Unfortuna …
My In-Laws Make Us Pay
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: My husband and I are married for ten years, we have 6 beautiful children. BH our expenses for tuition, healthcare and rent are significant. We should be able to make it to the end of the month without an issue since we are both working. However, that rarely happens. My husband grew up in a home where both his parents worked full time but never budgeted or thought about the future. Now, in their mid-70’s the financial situati …
Man-Made Mental Illness?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for the column, I really enjoy it each week. I would like to know what the panelists think of the following:
Of course, there are real mental illnesses that exist and those that suffer from them should obviously get the help and support that they need. But I feel like many of the people "suffering from mental illness" are suffering from man-made problems based on the expectations of our society. For instance …
Why Do I Always PANIC?!?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have always been jealous of those who are able to keep calm when everything around them is in crisis. There are some people who it seems no matter what is going on around them are able to keep cool, stay rational, and make sound decisions. I always tend to panic and do exactly the wrong thing. Is this just a personality type that you are born with or is this something you can develop? If it is something you can really become goo …
My Father's Unlicensed Exposure Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: When I was a teenager, I developed a severe phobia. I don’t think it is relevant to be more specific as to what it was. What matters is that my father learned a lot about it, got a lot of books and workbooks, and took it upon himself to help me work through it. The best method he said is a CBT approach called “exposure therapy.” This led to him pushing me very hard to be in the exact situations that were making m …
Is My Student Depressed?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I am a teacher in a high school and am writing regarding a girl in one of my 11th grade classes. Some of the other staff think she should be sent for therapy because "she doesn't seem happy." She is a girl who is shy and introverted. I know her mother and she is also quite shy.  She has friends but is quiet in big groups. She does well in groups of 2 or 3. She isn't very happy in school because learning is a st …
Inflated Ego or Self-Esteem?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column. I was wondering if you could explain the difference, as you see it, between self-confidence and gayva. Self-confidence is considered, certainly by psychologists, as a good thing while gayva is considered the worst of all middos. I understand that they are different but would be interested in hearing how you define the difference and at what point does something cross fr …
My Job Trauma
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I had a terrible experience with my first job. I had been looking forward to this career and had high expectations but things really did not work out well. I had a very hard time with my boss who had a strong personality and we clashed. I only lasted 3 months before we realized it was time to move on. I had wanted to leave sooner but he actually convinced me to stay. I think he felt he could get me to buy into his way of thinking …
Inappropriate Touching
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your informative column. Once again, the importance of being diligent regarding the emotional and physical safety of our children has been hammered home. I was hoping that based on your years of experience as clinicians you could offer some guidance and advice as to what we as parents and members of a community should do to best protect our children?   Response: It is indeed unfortunate—in fact tra …
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