Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

October 2nd, 2023

As Yom Kippur comes to a close, we are quickly ushered into the Chag of Sukkot. There is a mitzvah to rejoice on all of the holidays, yet there is special emphasis on being joyful during Sukkot. The Yalkut Shimoni highlights that the Torah commands us to rejoice on Sukkot three times (as opposed to Shavuot, when we are commanded once, and Pesach, when we are not explicitly commanded to rejoice). Furthermore, in our holiday prayers, each holiday i …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 4th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us an interesting story about Rabbi Yehuda’s reaction to Rabbi Meir’s students: The Sages taught: After the death of Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Yehuda said to his students: Do not let the students of Rabbi Meir enter here into our house of study, because they are vexatious [kanteranim]. And they do not come to study Torah, but rather they come to overwhelm me with halakhos. Sumakhos, a student of Rabbi Meir, pushe …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an interlude where a sage, named Bar Ahina, explained to Rava how a certain law is derived from a verse. Apparently, this Bar Ahina had a knack for noticing scriptural derivations as we see in a different Gemara (Sotah 39b) that once again, Bar Ahina helps Rava understand a scriptural derivation.  Akeidas Yitschok (65:1) uses this relationship as an object lesson from the dictum, “Who is a wise man? O …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 2nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses that when someone prefers to bring an offering, if he wants to reneg, the Jewish court compels him to fulfill his pledge. However, since the verse (Vayikra 1:3) implies that it is brought with his will and intention, we force him until he verbalizes that he is “agreeing” and “wants” to bring the sacrifice. This is an interesting psychological domain of religious worship. On the one hand, …
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Author: Mordechai Rhine, Rabbi, Mediator

September 25th, 2023

Y Mediation As a marriage mediator, couples often reach out to me if they are having difficulties in their relationship. Sometimes they are worried that they may be headed for big problems. This is especially the case if they hear of a friend that is getting divorced. The good news is that most disconnects in marriage are normal. If disconnects are taken care of right away, they will serve as an opportunity to build a stronger relationship betwee …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

October 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Daf 48 begins a discussion about a scenario where a woman was betrothed with a specific sum of money or another positive condition, and it turns out that she was given more money, an object of greater value, or a superior condition was met: מַתְנִיָּא: "הִתְקַדְּשִׁי לִי בְּכוֹס זֶה שֶׁל יַיִן" וְנִמְצָא שֶׁל דְּבַשׁ, "שֶׁל דְּבַשׁ" וְנִמְצָא שֶׁ …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 29th, 2023

Our Gemara on amud Aleph and Beis discusses how we view the obligation to pay a worker’s wages, and how it would affect a betrothal that was done via an agreement for the groom to perform a task as the exchange of an object of value: תַנְיָא: ״עֲשֵׂה לִי שִׁירִים נְזָמִים וְטַבָּעוֹת, וְאֶקַּדֵּשׁ אֲנִי לָךְ״, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעֲשָׂאָן – מְקוּדֶּשׁ …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 29th, 2023

This daf continues the halakhic discussion of betrothal using money forgiven from a loan. As we explained on Daf 46, a woman cannot be betrothed by allowing her to keep money she had previously borrowed. This is because the marriage bond needs to be effectuated via a transfer of a tangible object. The loan is not tangible, and even if the money was not spent and thus still tangible, the transfer of money to her domain occurred as a loan, and not …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 28th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the rule that a woman cannot be betrothed by allowing her to keep money she had previously borrowed. This is because the marriage bond needs to be effectuated via a transfer of a tangible object. The loan is not tangible, and even if the money was not spent and thus still tangible, the transfer of money to her domain occurred as a loan, and not an exchange for marriage. A second rule discussed is that if a woman …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 27th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a scenario where a daughter who is a minor accepts marriage in front of her father but without his explicit consent. The Gemara discusses what to make of his silence: is it assent or seething anger? This highlights an important aspect of human nature – a person can feel so trapped in a situation that he will externally comply while internally boiling with anger. As parents and educators, when we find oursel …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 26th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph relates a scene that occurred in the Beis Midrash where Reish Lakish was screaming like a "cruchia" bird, and no one paid attention to his halakhic argument. What was this "cruchia" bird? Some translate it as a crane, which apparently makes a very loud cawing sound. However, Rashi here identifies it as an Agur. Elsewhere, an Agur bird is identified with a parrot (see Radak Yirmiyahu 8:7. Radak himself learns that "cruchia …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 25th, 2023

In previous dappim, we learned that except in unusual circumstances, "אין שליח לדבר עבירה" (there is no agency when it comes to sin). That is to say, the one who carries out the act is fully liable since, as the Gemara says, "Whom does one obey, the master or the student?" In other words, God's law takes precedence, and there can never be an assignment of agency that contradicts God's command. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 24th, 2023

In our Gemara, we've been discussing the concept of agency, "shelichut." Several important principles have emerged: It is more honorable to perform a mitzvah oneself rather than appointing an agent, even if the mitzvah could technically be carried out by someone else. The concept of "Letikune Shidarticha" suggests that if an agent performs an action that clearly contradicts the appointer's intent, the agency is not valid for that particular ac …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 22nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses how great rabbis would personally tend to Shabbos preparations, even tasks that might be considered menial, to honor the sanctity of Shabbos: Rav Yosef said: It is more fitting that the mitzvah be performed by the person himself than by means of his agent. For example, there is a story of Rav Safra, who would singe the head of an animal on Shabbos eve himself to prepare it for consumption on Shabbos. Similarly, …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 21st, 2023

Our Mishna on Amud Beis presents a cryptic concept, highlighting the potential power of just one mitzvah: Anyone who performs one mitzvah has goodness bestowed upon him, his life is lengthened, and he inherits the land, i.e., life in the World-to-Come. And anyone who does not perform one mitzvah does not have goodness bestowed upon him, his life is not lengthened, and he does not inherit the land of the World-to-Come. The Gemara goes on to explai …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 20th, 2023

The Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses how, on the day of Moses' passing, the Manna ceased, but the Jewish people continued to be sustained by the leftover Manna until the 16th of Nissan. Similarly, the Gemara mentions that the dough-cakes the Jews took from Egypt tasted like the Manna. Is the Gemara merely recounting historical events, or does it hold a deeper significance? Shem Mishmuel, in Shelach 10, offers an explanation that goes beyond histori …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 19th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Beis, the discussion centers around whether the Jewish people in the wilderness were obligated to provide accompanying wine libations for their sacrifices, was required in the Temple. This inquiry seems to touch upon practicality, specifically the extent of effort the Torah expected from the Jews to procure wine for these libations in the harsh wilderness conditions. Indeed, though the Torah explicitly mentions that the Jews …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 18th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the intricate relationship between God and the Jewish people, particularly when the latter stray from their divine path: תַנְיָא: ״בָּנִים אַתֶּם לַה׳ אֱלֹהֵיכֶם״, בִּזְמַן שֶׁאַתֶּם נוֹהֲגִים מִנְהַג בָּנִים – אַתֶּם קְרוּיִם בָּנִים, אֵין אַתֶּם נוֹהֲגִים מִנְהַג בָּנִים &nd …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

September 13th, 2023

Azarat Yemi Teshuva  During Azarat Yemi Teshuva, we engage in deep introspection, reflection, and repentance, seeking forgiveness for our sins and striving to improve ourselves in the eyes of Hashem. The concept of Teshuva, or repentance, is central to these ten days. It reminds us that we are not defined by our past mistakes; instead, we have the power to change and grow. The process of Teshuva involves acknowledging our wrongdoing, feeling …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

September 12th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I am a teacher who has stepped in to offer support to a former student of mine who has recently lost her father. She is currently of shidduchim age and the family is anxious for her to begin dating. They feel that she should "move forward" and have been exerting significant pressure on her to begin. I was wondering if you can give me some guidelines as to when that would be considered healthy. I imagine it isn't just a time thing …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

September 12th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I live in a neighborhood/community where there is a big emphasis on money. It is a young neighborhood where people are just starting work, and some are making serious money and throwing it around. So there has recently become this pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” I have a salaried job and al pi derech hateva I am not going to become a millionaire any time soon. This was always ok with me, and I didn&rs …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

September 12th, 2023

Dear Therapist: I am not much of a letter writing type of guy, but I will give it a shot. I have been hearing from my wife, and now from my son’s rebbe that I need to work more on developing a better relationship with my teenage son. It isn’t that we have a relationship, it’s that we just don’t seem to connect. I know I am not the most expressive person in the world and though that doesn’t seem to be a problem with m …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 17th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the halakhic significance of female facial hair if it is considered like a beard. The matter is relevant regarding whether the laws of leprosy of the beard will apply to this area or the laws of skin leprosy, which have different criteria. The Gemara seems to consider the possibility that even though the verse explicitly includes female facial hair as part of the beard leprosy (Vayikra 13:29, "A man or woman who …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph questions the Mishna’s declaration of a general rule regarding women not being obligated in time-bound mitzvos: וּכְלָלָא הוּא? הֲרֵי מַצָּה, שִׂמְחָה, הַקְהֵל, דְּמִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁהַזְּמַן גְּרָמָא, וְנָשִׁים חַיָּיבוֹת! וְתוּ: וַהֲרֵי תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה, פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה, …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us why Rabbi Yochanan would stand up and honor a gentile, elderly person: רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן הֲוָה קָאֵי מִקַּמֵּי סָבֵי דְאַרְמָאֵי. אָמַר: כַּמָּה הַרְפַּתְקֵי עֲדוֹ עֲלַיְיהוּ דְּהָנֵי. רָבָא מֵיקָם לָא קָאֵי, הִידּוּר עָבֵד לְהוּ. Rabbi Yoḥanan himself would stand before Aramean, i. …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 14th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us an interesting story about Rav Huna, who wanted to test his son and see how patient and respectful he could be, even when provoked. Rav Huna tore silk garments in front of his son to see if he would get angry. The Gemara asks a number of questions regarding the propriety of this challenge, but we will focus on one particular question and answer. The Gemara asks how it is permitted to tear a garment. Is this not a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 12th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the number of letters in the Torah and reports that the letter vav in the word גחון (Vayikra 11:42) is the midpoint of the Torah in terms of letters, and דרש דרש is the midpoint in terms of words (Vayikra 10:16). Since the word גחון has an even number of letters, the Gemara naturally inquires whether the letter vav belongs to the first half or the second half. Unable to resolve the question, the Ge …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 11th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph enumerates various obligations upon a father toward his son, including teaching him to swim. Rav Elyashiv (Divrei Aggadah, Devarim 14:9) asks, "Why did the rabbis specifically choose swimming when there must be many other hazards and skills to learn? Why not Mathematics to avoid being cheated or Self-defense in case of bandits?" Rav Elyashiv suggests that the Gemara chose swimming because of a double entendre. He explains …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

September 6th, 2023

In Parshat Nitzavim we encounter the concept of mutual responsibility, which holds profound psychological significance pertaining to collective wellbeing. Moshe gathers the entire nation for his final address to renew our covenant with Hashem. Mutual responsibility teaches us that we are connected. Regardless of background, status, or personal journey, every individual is united in this pivotal moment, forming a collective covenant.   The fi …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 10th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, there's a crucial warning regarding the consequences of labeling a fellow Jew a "Rasha" (evil person): הָהוּא שַׁמּוֹתֵי מְשַׁמְּתִינַן לֵיהּ! דְּתַנְיָא: הַקּוֹרֵא לַחֲבֵירוֹ…. ״רָשָׁע״ – יוֹרֵד עִמּוֹ לְחַיָּיו! One who calls another a "wicked person" allows the insulted person to harass them in all aspects of l …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 8th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Beis, we delve into the intricate process of "Gilgul Shevua," a unique legal procedure. When a defendant is obligated to make an oath to defend their claim, the plaintiff has the opportunity to levy additional accusations, compelling the defendant to take oaths on those matters as well. Remarkably, this applies even when the subsequent accusations lack substantial legal basis, drawing inspiration from the repetition of "Amen …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 8th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, a discussion arises regarding the concept of "kinyan agav karka," which pertains to the acquisition of movable property through the acquisition of land. The question at hand is whether the movable property must physically be present on the parcel of land being acquired: אִיבַּעְיָא לְהוּ: בָּעֵינַן צְבוּרִים, אוֹ לָא? אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף: תָּא שְׁמַע: רַב …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 7th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph, we encounter an incident involving a group of elders from the city of Nezonya who declined to attend a Shiur (lecture) by Rav Chisda: סָבֵי דְנָזוֹנְיָא לָא אֲתוֹ לְפִירְקֵיהּ דְּרַב חִסְדָּא, אֲמַר לֵיהּ לְרַב הַמְנוּנָא: זִיל צַנְּעִינְהוּ. אֲזַל אֲמַר לְהוּ: מַאי טַעְמָא לָא אֲתוֹ רַבָּנ …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 6th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, we explore a question regarding the status of a Canaanite slave who sustains injuries inflicted by his master. If these injuries affect an organ such as an eye, tooth, or other limb, the slave is automatically freed. However, the Gemara delves into a nuanced discussion regarding whether an injury to the slave's ear or eye caused by the master making a loud and frightening noise is considered a direct injury, which wou …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 5th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis delves into a recurring question throughout Shas concerning the status of the Cohanim's service in the Temple: When they offer sacrifices, are they acting as our representatives or as agents of God? The Gemara concludes that the Cohanim are indeed acting as agents of God, carrying out His directives (while, of course, one of those directives is to offer sacrifices on our behalf). Bas Ayin (Emor 23) expands on the role of a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 4th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph teaches us that, although a Jewish slave often has the option to choose to continue his servitude after undergoing the ritual of having his ear pierced, there are certain situations where he will not be allowed to remain a slave under any circumstances. This is because the verse states, "I love my master" (Shemos 21:5), implying a state of relative equivalence and harmony between master and servant. Thus, the Gemara rules …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

August 30th, 2023

Parshat Ki Tavo spells out the blessings and curses first introduced earlier in Sefer Devarim prior to Bnei Yisrael’s entry into Ertz Yisrael. As the Parasha ends, Moshe Rabeiynu imparts a message of empowerment to the Bnei Yisrael, reminding them of their ability to uphold the covenant and follow the commandments. He instills in them the belief that they possess the necessary skills and strength to overcome challenges by focusing on positi …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

August 28th, 2023

Avinu Malkeinu: A Liturgically Inspired Essay on Parenthood Parented by G-d, and Parenting G-d’s Children One of the most challenging, if unoriginal, theological struggles for me personally has always been the tension between the idea of a loving G-d and suffering of the innocent. The analogy we were taught as Yeshiva kids was based on the verse in Deuteronomy: “For as a father afflicts his child, so G-d afflicts you.” We were t …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis initiates the discussion on the laws of Eishes Yefas Toar, a woman taken captive during war, and the permissibility of marrying her. Given the intense and primal urges that often emerge during the heat of battle, the Torah, rather than tolerating rampant sexual violence in wartime, outlines specific conditions under which a captive woman may be taken as a wife. The Sages taught: Concerning a captive, the verse states: "And …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

September 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the profound measures one must undertake to demonstrate respect and dignity towards their own slave: The passage continues: This means that there shall not be a situation in which you eat fine bread and he eats inferior bread [kibbar], bread from coarse flour mixed with bran, which is low quality. There shall not be a situation in which you drink aged wine and he drinks inferior new wine. There shall not be a …
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