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Pesach Planning with ADHD
Author: Rabbi Shmuel Reich
March 30th, 2023

I had been hoping to write a blog with suggestions for how to make preparations for Pesach easier for those with ADHD related challenges. I soon realized that to cover everything would need to be more like a book than I blog... I had not quite set out to write a book at this time, so instead I wrote a blog with a small handful of points that I think can be useful. Here goes!  Many individuals with ADHD struggle with organization of time …
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From Chaos to Seder: Pesach, Addiction, and Removing our Personal Chains
Author: Devora Shabtai
March 28th, 2023

“We are going to know a new freedom” -Alcoholics Anonymous I have always marveled at the paradox that our nation’s liberation from the bondage of slavery is marked by the quintessential period of restriction. A holiday that requires us to adhere to strict guidelines and detailed instructions with such profound exactitude and measure. To distance ourselves from something that in the rest of the year we get to engage in unconditio …
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The Shmuz Comes to Relief from Grief
Author: Miriam Ribiat
March 27th, 2023

The therapist is sitting in a dim cozy room aross from a client who is in so much pain. You discuss the feelings, tools to deal with them and any practical suggestions that may help. But what happens if the script changes and the client says, “Why? Why me? Why was I chosen?” Your response may be that you are not equipped to address those questions. But Rabbi Ben Tizon Shafier has answers. Why was this person chosen?  That he can& …
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Dimensions of the Amen Response Nazir 66 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 30th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the importance of saying Amen after a blessing: רַבִּי יוֹסֵי אוֹמֵר: גָּדוֹל הָעוֹנֶה ״אָמֵן״ יוֹתֵר מִן הַמְבָרֵךְ. וְאָמַר לוֹ רַבִּי נְהוֹרַאי: הַשָּׁמַיִם! כָּךְ הוּא: תֵּדַע שֶׁהֲרֵי גּוּלְיָירִים מִתְגָּרִין בַּמִּלְחָמָה, וְגִבּוֹרִים נוֹ …
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Occupied Territories Nazir 65 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 29th, 2023

 Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes a verse about Yaakov’s burial wishes as a proof text that requires a portion of the nearby earth to be taken along with a disinterred corpse, when it is being transferred to another grave (Bereishis 47:30): וְשָֽׁכַבְתִּי֙ עִם־אֲבֹתַ֔י וּנְשָׂאתַ֙נִי֙ מִמִּצְרַ֔יִם וּקְבַרְתַּ֖נִי בִּקְבֻרָתָ֑ם וַיֹּאמַ֕ר אָנ …
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Does God Trust Your Repentance? Nazir 64 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 29th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the idea that a person is considered eligible to be counted as part of the Paschal sacrifice once he completes the rituals of purification, even though he will not become fully purified until after the Sun sets.  The Gemara employs a formulation known as, “Shimsha Memeyla Arev - The Sun sets by itself”, i.e. the person has completed all the activities he must do, and since the Sun will set of its …
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Setbacks Are Serious But Routine Nazir 63 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 29th, 2023

  Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes the verse which describes what the Nazir must perform in order to recover and restart his Nazirhood, subsequent to becoming exposed to a corpse (Bamidbar 6:9): וְכִֽי־יָמ֨וּת מֵ֤ת עָלָיו֙ בְּפֶ֣תַע פִּתְאֹ֔ם וְטִמֵּ֖א רֹ֣אשׁ נִזְר֑וֹ וְגִלַּ֤ח רֹאשׁוֹ֙ בְּי֣וֹם טׇהֳרָת֔וֹ בַּיּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁבִי …
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So Far, You Didn’t Sin Nazir 62 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 26th, 2023

Our Gemara on amud aleph makes a statement about annulment of vows that is said many times throughout Shas:  הֶיתֵּר נְדָרִים פּוֹרְחִין בָּאֲוִיר “The halakhos of dissolution of vows, namely that one may request from a halakhic authority to annul them, fly in the air and have nothing to lean upon, i.e., these halakhos are not mentioned explicitly in the Torah. Sefer Arvei Nachal (Noach 2, 5663) unders …
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We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident Nazir 61 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 24th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph implies that Gentiles are not specifically obligated in the commandment to honor thy father and mother. Likewise, Kiddushin (31a) indicates that even the notable Dama ben Nesina, whose stories of honoring his father were legendary examples and object lessons for the sages, was still technically not obligated in honoring his father.  A number of commentaries (see Yad Avraham and Rabbi Akiva Eiger on Shulkhan Arukh YD …
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Manna, Now Available at Costco in Jumbo Size Nazir 60 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 24th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis records a discussion between Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and his students:  שָׁאֲלוּ תַּלְמִידָיו אֶת רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַי נָזִיר טָהוֹר וּמְצוֹרָע מַהוּ שֶׁיְּגַלֵּחַ תִּגְלַחַת אַחַת וְעוֹלָה לוֹ לְכָאן וּלְכָאן אָמַר לָהֶן אֵינוֹ מְגַלֵּחַ The students of Rabbi …
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Everyone Needs Encouragement Nazir 59 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 23rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis refers to a teaching approach repeated several times in Shas, known as,“To sharpen the students”. A teacher may say over something that is obviously incorrect in order to stimulate the students to question the teaching. The idea is to keep the students on their toes and create an environment where all ideas are critically challenged and not taken for granted. In other words, the teacher “serves softballs& …
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Spiritual Dashboard Nazir 58 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 22nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph refers to the classic Talmudic principle of עשה דוחה לא תעשה, that is, a positive command in the Torah is taken to override a negative prohibition. The Shalah (Aseres Hadibros, Yoma, Derech Chaim 62) wonders why the Torah describes various punishments for transgressing prohibitions (death, Kares, lashes) but is silent regarding the punishment for refusing to obey a positive mitzvah.  This counter intuiti …
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How Important is Positive Self-Talk? Nazir 57 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 21st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis records a statement made in frustration by Rav Adda bar Ahava that ended up as a curse against the children of Rav Huna. The words of a sage are so powerful, that even when not fully intended, they have an effect. This idea that words affect reality is a highly regarded principle mentioned dozens of times in the Gemara. Sanhedrin (102a) characterizes it as a covenant between one’s lips and God.  Sefer HaChinuch …
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Cite Your Sources as a Matter of Corpse Nazir 56 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 20th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the obligation to cite sources when quoting a teaching. But there is a chain of at least three scholars, such as, “rabbi so and so, in the name of rabbi so and so, in the name of rabbi so and so”, it is permissible to quote the first and last source, without stating the middle sources.  Presumably, the point of quoting the first and last source is to provide basic verification by preserving the o …
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Functioning – on the Outside Only
Author: Miriam Ribiat
March 13th, 2023

There is a widely held belief that a therapist can only be effective if they themselves experienced something similar to their clients’ circumstances. There may be some truth to that. But it isn’t so black and white. Just because a therapist went through an event or trauma in their life doesn’t give them an automatic ticket to becoming a good therapist. And a compassionate and well-trained person who hasn’t experienced tha …
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Yosef’s Rebuke Nazir 55 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 19th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the situation of a mobile shelter, and if it has the same status as a stationary one, in that it protects one who is inside it from impurity on the outside such as traveling over a corpse. Tosafos (“Ve-Hatanya”) makes a distinction between a mobile shelter that is held up by people such as a litter, versus a waving cloak in the air that incidentally covers a person and a corpse.  The waving cloa …
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Nature Abhors a Vacuum Nazir 54 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 17th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the halakhic idea that impurity from a corpse and a grave ascend directly without any barriers.  
Shem Mishmuel (Mishpatim 7 and Chukas 3) expands on the theme we saw in the previous daf, that when there is potential for impurity, so too there is greater potential for purity, and vice versa. This is why there is a teaching that blessing is not conferred on a counted item, and further, that when J …
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A Poor Conductor Nazir 53 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 17th, 2023

There is an morbid vaudeville joke about the hapless shlemazel train engineer who was fired from his job.  Feeling depressed, he puts his foot to the third rail, hoping to electrocute himself. Somehow, since this poor guy cannot seem to do anything right, he survives and is not zapped by the high voltage.  Why, you might ask?  Because, of course, he was a poor conductor! Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the concept of “sword …
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The Arrogant Self Versus the Pure Self Nazir 52 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 16th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the quantity of blood from a corpse that is sufficient to impart impurity as if a full corpse was present.  This amount is known as a “revi’is”, which is a quarter log, approximately 3.8 ounces.  The Gemara Chullin (72a) bases this amount on the amount of blood needed to maintain a form of life, thus it embodies the soul. (While this is scientifically difficult to understand, Tosafos S …
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Be Physical in Order to be Spiritual Nazir 51 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph continues the discussion of various states of decomposed flesh, and when it still is within the threshold of a corpse, to the extent that it can render a Nazir impure. Such corpse dust must not contain foreign ingredients mixed within it:   תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן אֵיזֶהוּ מֵת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ רָקָב מֵת שֶׁנִּקְבַּר עָרוֹם בְּאָרוֹן שֶׁל שַׁיִש …
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Reality, What a Metaphor! Nazir 50 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 14th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a quantity of dust and decay from a corpse that renders a Nazir impure, and requires him to restart his Nazir observance. This Shiur is known as Maleh Tarvaad, the amount that fills a ladle. This small remainder of a human being is discussed elsewhere with theological significance. Pirke De-Rabbi Eliezer (34) says the dead will be resurrected from these remains. Mateh Moshe (513, also see Eliyahu Rabbah OH 300:2) …
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Balance is Fluid Nazir 49 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 13th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis records a discussion where Rabbi Yehuda (the Tanna) became angry that they allowed the students of Rabbi Meir into the Shiur. His objection was based on the fact that they were “kanteranim”, which we can translate as excessively argumentative. There is a similar Gemara in Kiddushin (52b) regarding a different halakhic discussion, but likewise Rabbi Yehuda became vexed because they allowed the students of Rabbi …
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"Why won't my in-laws support us?"
Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT
March 8th, 2023

*This post originally appeared as a column in the Five Towns Jewish Times*   Dear Elisheva, My wife and I have been married for almost three years, and this issue has only gotten worse over that time. Baruch Hashem we get along really well when it comes to most things. But there’s one area where we disagree strongly, and I was hoping we could get your opinion. Both of our parents are good people, and we have great relationships with th …
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If You Insult a Person, You Insult God (God forbid!) Nazir 48 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 12th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes a verse (Vayikra 24:18) וּמַכֵּ֥ה נֶֽפֶשׁ־בְּהֵמָ֖ה יְשַׁלְּמֶ֑נָּה נֶ֖פֶשׁ תַּ֥חַת נָֽפֶשׁ׃ One who smites the soul of a beast shall make restitution for it: life for life. Rav Yosef Bekhor Shor (ibid 24:17) says a remarkable peshat based on juxtaposition of two prior verses: וְנֹקֵ֤ב שֵׁם המ֣וֹת יוּמָ֔ת … and one who al …
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Honoring the Dead and the Great Nazir 47 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 10th, 2023

Our Gemara on amud beis continues to discuss that for a Meis Mitzvah (an abandoned corpse), even a Cohen Godol must bury him, and this need overrides the Cohanic prohibition to not be defiled from a corpse. It is evident from how Tosafos (“Hachi Garsinan De-Iylu”) analyzes the particular situation, that the Cohen Godol is permitted to engage in taking care of the corpse even when burial is not possible such as Yom Kippur. For example, …
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Inexplicable, Mysterious And Wonderous Nazir 46 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 10th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes a verse (Devarim 6:20): אַחַר יִשְׁתֶּה הַנָּזִיר יַיִן  “And after that the nazirite may drink wine”  The rabbis use it to derive a law that the Nazir is still bound to his obligations, until after his sacrifices are brought. However, because the text is anomalous, there are a number of commentaries that see a particular lesson and message for the Nazir. The proble …
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Do Not Forget You Are a Jew Nazir 45 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 9th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses Moshe bringing Yosef’s bones out of Egypt. There is a Midrash that gives us Moshe’s behind-the-scenes reaction to this. (The Midrash is obscure but quoted by the Baale Tosafos in Hadar Zekeinim Shemos 13:19): Moshe complains to God, “Why is it that Yoseph merited, at least, to be buried in the land of Israel, and not I?” God answered, “Yoseph called himself a Jew, and you did not.&r …
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Abandoned Mitzvos Nazir 44 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 8th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the concept of Meis Mitzvah, an abandoned body with no identifiable relatives. In such a case, even a Cohen Godol and a Nazir are permitted to tend to the burial. Sefer Chassidim (261) says that metaphorically speaking, there are mitzvos which are neglected and abandoned and also are considered to be a Meis Mitzvah. Chofetz Chaim (Shemiras Halashon I:3) adds: This is true by force of a kal v’chomer. If a l …
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Spiritual CPR Nazir 43 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 7th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the idea that a Cohen may be prohibited from entering a room where there is a Goses (a person who is about to die). This is not merely a rabbinic prohibition in case the person might die and then the Cohen would be in the same room as a corpse. Rather this is a Biblical prohibition, and applies even if the person does not die. Rishonim ask, since Eliyahu the Prophet was a Cohen according to tradition (Bava Metzi …
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Animals Who Walk on Two Feet Nazir 42 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 6th, 2023

Our Gemara on the top of Amud Aleph discusses the mitzvah of Tzitzis. Using an idea from Sefer Haikkarim, Yismach Moshe offers a psychological and symbolic explanation for this mitzvah.  Sefer Haikkarim (III:15) provides a philosophical backstory to the rivalry of Kayin and Hevel. Both left with the task of making their way in the world, Kayin works the land, while Hevel chooses to herd animals. Naturally, each brings sacrifices from their c …
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The Rambam on the Cutting Edge Nazir 41 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 5th, 2023

Continuing our discussion about Jewish prohibitions of cutting hair, our Gemara on this daf discusses the prohibition of cutting the hair on the side of one’s head, that is peyos harosh. Rabbi Rosner’s Daf Yomi Shiur from the last cycle quoted an intriguing Tur (Tur YD 181): “That which the Ramban says that the reason for the prohibition of cutting the Peyos is an order to not be similar to the customs of the idolaters, is not e …
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Higher Standards Nazir 40 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes several verses in the Torah that serve as the source for the prohibition against shaving one’s beard with a razor, or possibly in a razor like fashion, depending on how it is interpreted by various poskim.  There are two sets of verses that discuss prohibition, one having to do specifically with the Cohanim, and the other applied to all Jews. Halakhically, there is no distinction and our Gemara uses the t …
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Double Binds in Relationships Nazir 39 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph mentions in passing elderly men who dye their beards black to appear younger. This raises a question because there is a prohibition for men to dye their hair, as it is considered a feminine activity, and therefore a violation of a man appearing as a woman. (See Makkos 20b and Shulkhan Arukh OH 340:1). However, one might simply say this Gemara is talking about gentile elders, and from the context of the general discussion, …
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What Does it Take to Achieve Forgiveness for Sin? Nazir 38 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 2nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the principle that one does not receive the punishment of lashes for violating a general prohibition “lav shebichlalos”. The prohibition must be a specific item and not a broad or general category. Presumably, any time a negative commandment which also has some factor that lessens the intensity of the prohibition, it somewhat reduces the degree of punishment or reaction. There are other examples as we …
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Hitting Rock Bottom Nazir 37 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a verse in Vayikra (6:20) that uses a strange language, “Anything that touches the flesh of the sacrifice shall become consecrated.” It’s a difficult verse to understand. Is holiness somehow contagious? Our Gemara interprets it as referring to the principle that absorption of an essence affects the object to an extent that it takes on the prohibition of that which it absorbed.  Noam Elimelech …
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Repenting is the Yeast You Could Do Nazir 36 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 28th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the prohibition of using leavened dough on the altar for sacrifices. Rabbenu Bechaye’s ethical treatise, Kad Hakemach (Pesach 1) offers a comprehensive explanation of the Torah’s symbolic aversion to chametz:   Chametz represents the evil inclination. Like the slow leavening of dough, the evil within a personality creeps up and can overtake without proper vigilance. Pesach represents a potential …
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Give the Devil His Due Nazir 35 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 27th, 2023

Tosafos on Amud Aleph (“Rava”) discusses the possibility that an ox or donkey which was used in the sinful acts of either plowing together (which is a forbidden mixture, Devarim 22:10) or threshing while muzzled (ibid, 25:4) would be invalided to use as a sacrifice. The Keren Orah asks in regard to the scenario of threshing with a muzzle, but the action of the threshing itself was not a sin. That is, the ox did not participate in this …
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Episode 48: Is There a Modern Orthodox Shidduch Crisis?
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 22nd, 2023

The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are definite differences between the way dating for marriage is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities. Recently, a research study was conducted to better understand and promote awareness regar …
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Episode 47:Episode 47: Unmarried and Dating in Midlife: Navigating Intimacy and Sexuality
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
February 22nd, 2023

Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum here in a discussion …
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Laws Masquerading as Morality Nazir 34 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 26th, 2023

Our Mishna on Amud Aleph and the rest of the daf begins a discussion about the various prohibitions and foods that the Nazir is restricted from.   The verses spell out four different kinds of wine related products (Bamidbar 6:3-4):   מִיַּ֤יִן וְשֵׁכָר֙ יַזִּ֔יר  חֹ֥מֶץ יַ֛יִן וְחֹ֥מֶץ שֵׁכָ֖ר לֹ֣א יִשְׁתֶּ֑ה  וְכׇל־מִשְׁרַ֤ת עֲנָבִים֙ …
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