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Seeing is Believing Bava Metzia 20 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 19th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud aleph discusses the legal status of documents called “Shtarei Berirun”. According to one opinion, is a written record of each litigant’s claims. The straightforward understanding of why the claims are written and agreed upon is that this way neither party can retract and modify their claims. (Rashbam, Bava Basra 168a, “Shtarei”.) There also can be a psychological reason for this …
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Cognitive Bias or Sholom Bayis? Bava Metzia 19 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 18th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the laws concerning a death-bed gift. Since the person is giving away his possessions with the tacit understanding that he is mortally ill, should he recover, his gifts are retracted. The Divrei Mahari relates this (Toldos Bereishis 25:30-34) to Esav’s selling of his rights to the firstborn. וַיָּ֥זֶד יַעֲקֹ֖ב נָזִ֑יד וַיָּבֹ֥א עֵשָׂ֛ו …
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Inside or Outside? Bava Metzia 18 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 17th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis describes a rabbi’s quest for the correct halakha as “Nafak, Dak, Ve-ashkach - He went out, examined it, and discovered.”How does one “go out” and discover a thought? Is this not something that should be discovered by an inward journey? Tosafos Yom Tov (2:9) says it refers to an intellectual journey. Midrash Shmuel (ibid) suggests it is a going out, because it is a letting go of a …
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What Do the Dead Know? Bava Metzia 16 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 15th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses the idea that a repentant thief may be disturbed that his reputation as a thief would be discovered after his death. This implies that dead people have an awareness of the goings on in the physical world. However this is subject to debate in Gemara Berachos (18b) with a number of incidents with various sagely and pious persons, the dead and the living. In one case, a man receives messages from a deceased …
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Buried Treasure Bava Metzia 17 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 15th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis used a particular idiom to describe the discovery of a novel Torah idea: “Drawing up the pearl underneath the clay shard.” Some understand this as a metaphor coming from pearl divers, who find pearls hidden under clay-like clods under the sea (see Tosafos ibid). I will reflect on this metaphor. The idea that intellectual activity involves a deep dive, associated with risks is certainly meaningful. One ca …
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Redemption Unveiled (Parshat Pekudei)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
March 14th, 2024
Parshat Pekudei, the final portion of the book of Exodus, provides us with a profound exploration of the psychological journey toward redemption. As we delve into the details of the construction of the Mishkan, we find ourselves leading to the close of Sefer of Shemot gaining clarity on collective redemption for Bnei Yisrael. In his introduction to the Sefer, the Ramban makes comments that, "The Book of Shemot is dedicated to the first Gal …
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Medication or Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have a specific fear that I have a hard time with but it isn't something that I really have to face very frequently. Let's say it's flying. It's not something I do very often but when I need to it's really hard. I was prescribed a medication I can take from my doctor and I can use it before flying and I feel ok. Is this a good enough way to deal with it or would it be better to invest in therapy to get rid of the fear? Would the …
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What, Me Intellectualize? Well, Come to Think of it...
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have been wondering about a friend who is very smart but is still struggles with motivation. He has been confiding in me recently but I think that he is very focused on philosophical reasons for his unhappiness, like the purpose of life, but doesn't pay enough attention to his emotions. It's hard to tell really but I am wondering if you could give me some pointers in how to steer him for the proper help. Thanks. Response: …
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Therapy? Very Funny!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 14th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your weekly column. I enjoy hearing your different perspectives. I was wondering if lekavod Purim you could share your thoughts on humor and mental health. Does a good sense of humor help people in dealing with difficulties? How does this work? Is this something that can be developed or do you either have it or not? Additionally, I think for most of us we imagine therapy as a serious somber thing, i …
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Gifts and Intimacy Bava Metzia 15 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 14th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses an interesting case where a man attempts to enact marriage to a person to whom he is forbidden, such as a sister. Usually marriage is enacted via an exchange of an object of value (classically, a gold ring). In this situation, since the marriage is obviously impossible, what did he intend to do with the object of value or the money? This is subject to a dispute between Rav and Shmuel: Rav says: The money h …
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The Unforgivable Bava Metzia 14 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 13th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph asserts a principle of human nature that is used to validate numerous halachic presumptions throughout Shas: “A person will not voluntarily waste their money.” Thus, if there are certain obvious omissions in a contract, we do not assume the person agreed to such unfavorable terms, and we consider if it was written, In another Gemara Kesuvos (36b) a similar presumption is made regarding a Co …
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The Frustrations of Daily Life Bava Metzia 13 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 12th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of a promissory note that was lost and found. Ordinarily, these notes with signatures of witnesses have a presumption of validity. However, since this document was dropped, that in and of itself weakens its legitimacy. (Perhaps the loan was canceled or not even enacted, and it was discarded and not lost at all.) Therefore, if one finds this document, he may not be able to return it to the lender, as p …
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Fathers and Roughhousing Psychology of the Daf Bava Metzia 12
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 11th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses why a found item of a minor belongs to the father: “Because the minor does not intend to acquire it for himself, as when he finds it, he runs with it to his father.” The propensity of this young boy speaks of a form of attachment that fathers specifically enact. A father might toss his child in the air, simultaneously terrifying and delightfing him or her. While mother stands for safety and nu …
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Hidden Treasure, But Open Suffering Bava Metzia 11 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 10th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses the ability of a courtyard to acquire objects for its owner without his awareness. However, Shulchan Aruch (CM 269) rules that if it is an unexpected object, then it does not acquire it for him, such as hidden treasure. In Vayikra (14:34) the Torah speaks about tozraas blemishes that will afflict your houses, “upon your entry into the land of Canaan.” This odd phraseology sounds li …
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Does Religion Make People Anxious? Bava Metzia 9 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 8th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the method of acquisition known as “chatzer = courtyard”, where an object can be acquired by being placed in the person’s domain. A mobile courtyard, such as vessels to be acquired that are placed on one’s moving animal, cannot acquire the objects. However, a boat is not considered mobile despite moving on the water, as the subjective experience is one of relative stability and stand …
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Dispense With the Middleman Bava Metzia 10 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 8th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an important and recurring theme in Jewish religious philosophy that has halachic and metaphorical implications. Under many circumstances, an employee or laborer can quit on the spot. The rationale is that God wants no Jewish person to be encumbered by any mortal. The Gemara declares: It is written: “For to Me the children of Israel are slaves; they are My slaves whom I brought forth out of the land …
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Decisions...Decisions...Decisions?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My son has always had a hard time making decisions. Even when it comes to making small choices, like what to order in a restaurant, it's a whole esek. He really never had to make too many serious choices in his life, he went to the same yeshiva straight through and to Eretz Yisroel together with his friends. Same with camp, there wasn't much choice. I am worried as he gets ready for shidduchim that he will have a rough …
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Should I Choose My Husband or My Parents?
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
March 7th, 2024
Dear Therapist: My husband has a very difficult time getting along with my parents. I am not sure what the source of this is but it's been like that for a while. My husband is a great father and wonderful husband and man, and my parents are wonderful too. We all have our quirks and somehow my husband and parents just grate on each other the wrong way. We have somehow managed this over the first 5 years of our marriage but it seems to be get …
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The Divine Blueprint: Executive Planning (Parshat Vayakhel)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
March 7th, 2024
Parshat Vayakhel focuses on Moshe Rabeynu addressing Bnei Yisrael as he provides them with the instructions, given in the previous Parshot, related to constructing the Mishkan. In describing the items created for the Mishkan, what becomes clear is that the more important items were left to be created last. The Parsha describes how after the structure was completed then the Ark, Cover, Table, and Menorah were made. As we reflect on the proc …
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Is There a Natural Moral Sense? Bava Metzia 8 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 7th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph makes a seemingly contradictory assertion that a deaf mute is lacking in enough intelligence or discernment to acquire possessions. The rabbis enacted a ruling that regardless, they should be allowed to possess objects. This was in order to forestall and protect a vulnerable population (the mentally impaired) from financial abuse. If two people pick up an ownerless object at the same time, they acquire it jointly, e …
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Fringe Benefits of Mitzvos Bava Metzia 7 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 6th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses a situation of two people, in dispute regarding possession of a cloak made with gold threads on certain parts, and how it should be divided fairly. The literal word used for the cloak is “talis”. Does the Gemara really mean a Talis, the garment which is a mitzvah to wear with Tzitzis fringes attached? Possibly, as it may be that Jews routinely wore four cornered garments as a standard, and did …
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Your Attitude Counts Bava Metzia 6 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 5th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud beis discusses the procedure of tithing animals. Animals born from this year's cycle are put in a corral, and one by one, pass through a gate, counted by a staff. Every tenth sheep is tagged with a red mark and becomes masser (Mishna Bechoros 9:7). If a counted sheep somehow jumps over the gate and returns back to the non-tithed group, the entire group is now rendered exempt from any further tithing procedures …
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Taming the Beast Within Bava Metzia 5 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 3rd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the parameters of the prohibition against jealously desiring the possessions of another. According to the simple reading of our Gemara, this prohibition applies even when the person is willing to make full payment and purchase the object. If so, is it ever permitted to see something that belongs to another and offer to purchase it? Perhaps it is not allowed to initiate an offer to buy items that are not for comme …
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It’s Like Deja Vu, All Over Again Bava Metzia 4 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 3rd, 2024
Our Gemara discusses various aspects of a unique kind of oath, known as Gilgul Shevua, which we can roughly translate as “A rolled-on Oath.” When a defendant is obligated to make an oath to defend their claim, the plaintiff has the opportunity to levy additional accusations, compelling the defendant to take oaths on those matters as well. Remarkably, this applies even when the subsequent accusations lack substantial legal basis, …
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The Mother of Intention Bava Metzia 2 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 1st, 2024
The Gemara on this Amud discusses the proper way to adjudicate a dispute where two parties claim ownership over an object. Sometimes the remedy is to mandate that it be divided. However, that is only when there are grounds to consider each claim as equally valid, and possibly that both are equal legitimate owners. But if one party had full possession of the object, and the other had no proof other than his claim, we would not divide the obj …
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Justified Manipulation Bava Metzia 3 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
March 1st, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud aleph uncharacteristically asks why the Torah obligates an oath by a person who partially admits, but exempts the person who flat out denies the claim. Usually the Gemara asks the “what”, but not the “why.” For example, a Gilgul Shevua, on the face of it, makes little sense. (An additional oath, levied on the defendant once he already is obligated in a first oath, even if a second claim on the part …
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Embracing Flexibility: Overcoming Stiff-Neckedness (Parshat Ki Tisa)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
February 29th, 2024
Parshat Ki Tisa delves into the story of the sin of the Golden Calf and the subsequent conversation between Moshe Rabeynu and Hashem related to the consequences. During this back and forth, Hashem characterizes Bnei Yisrael as a “stiff-necked people” as the motivation behind many of our struggles. The parsha provides us an opportunity to explore the psychological concept of being Stiff-Necked and the lessons we can learn to overcome t …
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Clear and Present Danger Bava Kamma 119 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 29th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph teaches that though it is permitted to kill an informer, there is an opinion that one may still not take his possessions. (In times where the local government was cruel and unjust toward Jews, an informant in the community posed mortal danger.) The rationale for this distinction is provided by the Gemara: Perhaps he will have righteous children, and it is written: The wicked may prepare it, but the just shall put i …
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When Stolen Waters are not so Sweet Bava Kamma 118 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 28th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the prohibition to buy stolen goods. The Rambam (Law of Theft 1:1) warns that to buy stolen goods of any kind is a grave sin, as it encourages the thief’s behavior. Based on this, Yam Shel Shelomo (58:1) rules that it is still prohibited to purchase from a thief even if he technically acquired the item via making substantial changes so that it is no longer the same object, such as weaving wool into a …
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Teacher or Student? Bava Kamma 117 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 27th, 2024
Our Gemara describes an interlude with Rabbi Yochanan, where he misjudges a student, Rav Kahana, several times: Originally Rav Kahana was seated in the front row of the Shiur, as his reputation preceded him. However he was under instructions by his master, Rav, to not ask any questions in Rabbi Yochanan’s Shiur for seven years. Therefore, he appeared in the Shiur as a lackluster scholar whose hype was not commensurate with his perfor …
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True Love Bava Kamma 116 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 26th, 2024
The Gemara on Amud Aleph uses a phrase to characterize an event where a person’s animal that was doomed to drown was miraculously saved, “Min Shamayim Rachimu Aleh - from Heaven they manifested Rachimu.” Many translations of this Gemara translate “Rachimu” as mercy, seeing the Hebrew root R-CH-M from Rachamim, mercy. I believe this translation to be in error. The Aramaic Rachimu, though of the same root, actua …
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The Value of intuition Bava Kamma 115 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 25th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the prevailing awareness at that time that vessels with liquid in them left open and unguarded can become contaminated by snake venom, as the snake is attracted to it and might have taken a drink. The Gemara says it is forbidden to have one’s animal drink from it, and Rashi says perhaps you will slaughter the animal and eat it, thus exposing someone to the poison. However, this seemingly contra …
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Heart and Shoulders: Why civil law matters
Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.
February 23rd, 2024
When studying the Torah, it pays to attend not just to the recorded content - be it the narratives or the Mitzvos, but also to the language that the Torah uses in conveying its content. In particular, we can tap and mine the rich veins of Biblical wisdom, when we are willing to examine the Torah’s linguistic parallels and contrasts. A case in point is the wording found in Parshas Tetzaveh, as the Torah introduces the firs …
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Don’t Ruin the Mitzvah Bava Kamma 113 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 23rd, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph rules that certain days and times are improper to serve defendants with summons from Bais Din: We do not set a court date for participants in the kalla, the gatherings for Torah study during Elul and Adar, during the months of the kalla, nor for participants in the public discourses prior to the Festival during the period leading up to the Festival. The Gemara relates: When people would come before Rav Naḥman dur …
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You Don’t Say? Bava Kamma 114 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 23rd, 2024
Our Gemara quotes Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi, using a distinctive phrase that other Tanaim do not use. He introduces his opinion with, “Omer Ani”, which roughly translates to “I say” or “In my opinion”, but as we soon shall see, in Hebrew it has a different, more subtle and humble connotation. Rav Yosef Engel (Beis Haotzar, Ma’areches aleph-vav, klal 33) notes that the meaning is something like &ldq …
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Precision in Holiness: Being Detail-Oriented (Parshat Tetzaveh)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
February 22nd, 2024
How you do anything is how you do everything. Parshat Tetzaveh focus on the elaborate desgining of the clothing for the Kohanim, emphasizing intricate details and precision. In the modern fast-paced world, where attention spans are fleeting, the Parsha’s emphasis to meticulous detail in the description of the garments carries a profound message about the importance of being detail oriented and precise in all our actions. The ps …
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Therapy? Never Again!
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2024
Dear Therapist: I have a friend who has a very serious problem with her shalom bayis. Her husband started going to therapy to try to help the marriage. She has a very long list of complaints against her husband, but she admits that she also has faults and she's not innocent. When I asked her why she doesn't go to therapy she told me she can't even think of it. She had gone for a lot of therapy in her late teens/early twenties …
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Teletherapy or In-Person Therapy
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
February 22nd, 2024
Dear Therapist: What advantages and disadvantages come with receiving therapy in person versus using an online platform? If a therapist offers both options, which should I choose? I would assume that in person would be more effective but sometimes maybe it would be easier to share through a screen? Aside from convenience, are there any other factors that I should be taking into consideration when choosing a venue for psychotherapy? Respons …
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Jewish Criminals Bava Kamma 112 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 22nd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud discusses the unfortunate situation of children whose father was a thief. Are the children who were supported by their father over the years, responsible to pay restitution to those whom he stole from? We won’t get into the Halachic specifics, but instead I thought to discuss the social and psychological impact of having a father who is a thief. Unfortunately, there are crooks even in the frum world. Sometimes the …
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Double Standards Bava Kamma 111 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
February 21st, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud aleph discusses the psychological assumption that many women prefer companionship over loneliness to the extent that they might be agreeable to marry someone far less suitable than she would have initially preferred. The statement is in a thick Aramaic, which suggests it was an adage spoken by the populace (see Rashi Kesuvos 75a “Tan” and Rashi Kiddushin 41a, “D’amar”): The phrase, &ld …
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