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The Ups and Downs of Exile Gittin 16 and 17 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 1st, 2023
Our Gemara on 16b and 17a tells us a story about how Rav Yehuda and Rabba visited Rabba bar bar Ḥana when he was unwell. רַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה חֲלַשׁ, עוּל לְגַבֵּיהּ רַב יְהוּדָה וְרַבָּה, לְשַׁיּוֹלֵי בֵּיהּ. בְּעוֹ מִינֵּיהּ: שְׁנַיִם שֶׁהֵבִיאוּ גֵּט מִמְּדִינַת הַיָּם, צְרִיכִין שֶׁיּ …
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Dying to Be Heard Gittin 15 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 31st, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the ethical and legal concept of a מִצְוָה לְקַיֵּים דִּבְרֵי הַמֵּת It is a mitzvah to fulfill the directives of the dead. There are halakhic discussions over what extent it is legally binding, and under what circumstances, but there also seems to be some consensus that, regardless of the legality, there is a moral obligation to fulfill the wishes of the deceased. Why is this so? Th …
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Intuitive Truth Versus Logical Truth Gittin 14 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 30th, 2023
Our gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a certain law as “a halakha without a reason”. The Aramaic word used is, “Hilkhesa”, which is also used to mean a Halakha LeMoshe Misinai, an oral legal tradition that is part of an ancient chain of teachings, even stemming back to Moshe. It is notable that Rashi understands this use of the word “Hilkhesa” to literally mean Halakha LeMoshe Misinai. Rashi’s explanat …
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Authentic Freedom Gittin 13 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 29th, 2023
Authentic freedom is a complex concept that has been debated by philosophers and theologians for centuries. Authentic freedom includes the ability to make one's own choices, the absence of coercion or oppression, and the pursuit of one's own values and goals. Our gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the psychological and halakhic concept of עַבְדָּא בְּהֶפְקֵירָא נִיחָא לֵיהּ for a slave. Becoming free is not necessarily …
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Do We Have the Right to Argue with God? Gittin 12 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 28th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses practical and legal dimensions of slave ownership, responsibilities of slave to master and master to slave. However, there are also ways to read them as derash, hinting at our experiences as slaves in Egypt. Let us look at each teaching, and then see if they are allusions to our own slavery: ! עַבְדָּא דִּנְהוֹם כְּרֵסֵיהּ לָא שָׁוֵיא, לְמָרֵיהּ וּלְמָר …
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A Vered by Any Other Name Gittin 11 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 25th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses Jews who have names of Gentiles. It is a known halakhic and moral debate about the practice of choosing Gentile names. Different communities have different customs and that will not be the focus of our discussion. But there is a fascinating Midrash about the history and process of Jewish names. It states in Bereishis Rabbah 37:7: A dispute between Rabbi Yose and Rabbi Shimon Ben Gamliel. Rabbi Yose says: The anc …
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Baal Teshuva Syndrome Gittin 10 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 25th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of Matzah baked by Cuthite. According to this Gemara, though this nationality converted to Judaism under duress, the conversion was still valid, and they had the status of Jews. However, the Cuthites didn’t quite absorb the full message of Judaism and often would follow the written Torah but not trust the Rabbinic oral tradition. According to one opinion, even though of course, we are stri …
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Silent Rebuke Gittin 9 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 25th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph reports that Rabbi Yosei would use the following verse in Mishley (24:26) to praise cogent Torah arguments: שְׂפָתַ֥יִם יִשָּׁ֑ק מֵ֝שִׁ֗יב דְּבָרִ֥ים נְכֹחִֽים׃ Giving straightforward reply Is like giving a kiss. How is a lucid torah argument compared to a kiss? Rashi on our Gemara says it is worthy of a kiss. Tosafos explains that it is not the kiss itself, but rather the g …
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My son terrorizes my other kids
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
May 24th, 2023
Question: We have an 11 yr. old son who has been bullying his younger siblings for years. He is an intense child with a low self-esteem. He threatens them, bribes them, belittles them, embarrasses them, annoys them, and physically hurts them. He needs everything to go his way. We've spoken to him time and again about his behaviors and he's aware of what he's doing and that it’s not ok. We've punished and threatened and explained. He do …
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Another Way to Make Aliyah Gittin 8 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 24th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a fascinating legal enactment in order to promote settlement of the land of Israel. Even though ordinarily, one may not instruct a gentile to perform labor on Shabbos, if there’s an opportunity to purchase a parcel of land in Israel, from a gentile, you can instruct a secular court to write up the contract. While some poskim have used this as a general principle, allowing one to instruct a gentile to perfor …
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Being Amongst the People Gittin 7 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 23rd, 2023
OurGemara on 6b and 7a tells us about how to give instruction and guidance during the hectic time preceding the arrival of Shabbos: אָמַר רַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה: הָא דְּאָמְרִי רַבָּנַן: שְׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים צָרִיךְ אָדָם לוֹמַר בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת עִם חֲשֵׁיכָה: עִשַּׂרְתֶּם? עֵרַבְתֶּם? ה …
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Too Much of a Good Thing? Gittin 6 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 22nd, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the opinion of Shmuel that Babylonia is considered outside of Israel and a Get needs the messenger to attest to the signatures. Shmuel holds that though due to the constant traffic to and from the yeshivos in Israel to Bavel, there ought to be sufficient witnesses who could attest to the signatures on the Get, the Benei Yeshiva are engrossed in their studies and nonetheless would not recognize signatures. …
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Sometimes the Details Count Gittin 5 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 21st, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the consequences of diverging from the formula that the sages instituted for process of divorce. Rabbi Meir has an opinion that once the Rabbis Instituted a particular process, even if details of the process are rabbinic in origin, a divorcement bill that does not in here to this process is rendered invalid. This is even to the extent that the divorce is ineffective, and a child from a subsequent union would be c …
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Spiritual Credit Score Gittin 3 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 19th, 2023
The Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses circumstances when a single witness is believed. Specifically this is in regard to testifying about the permissibility of a food or similar ritualry requirement. אֵימַר דְּאָמְרִינַן עֵד אֶחָד נֶאֱמָן בְּאִיסּוּרִין כְּגוֹן חֲתִיכָה סָפֵק שֶׁל חֵלֶב סָפֵק שֶׁל שׁוּמָּן דְּלָא אִיתַּ …
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Season’s Greetings Gittin 4 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 19th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis strongly implies that there is no mitzvah of Aliyyah Leregel (Yom Tov Pilgrimage) in our times where there is no Bais HaMikdash: תִּינַח בִּזְמַן שֶׁבֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קַיָּים בִּזְמַן שֶׁאֵין בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קַיָּים מַאי אִיכָּא לְמֵימַר The Gemara raises a difficulty: This works out well when the Temple is standin …
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The Quest for Satisfaction Gittin 2 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 18th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis identifies the people of “Medinas Hayam” those who come from overseas (from outside the Land of Israel) as tending to be less versed in Torah law and norms (see Rashi “Lefi”.) The idiom, Medinas Hayam is often used in rabbinic literature to denote an area that is lacking in Torah or spiritual significance. Rav Kook, in his commentary on Siddur (Olas Reiyyah) goes into a lengthy metaphorical and myst …
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Factors That Create Receptivity Toward Criticism Sotah 49 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 17th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis laments the state of the world prior to arrival of the Mashiach, including the inability to to accept rebuke: בְּעִקְבוֹת מְשִׁיחָא חוּצְפָּא יִסְגֵּא וְיוֹקֶר יַאֲמִיר הַגֶּפֶן תִּתֵּן פִּרְיָהּ וְהַיַּיִן בְּיוֹקֶר וּמַלְכוּת תּהָפֵךְ לְמִינוּת וְאֵין תּוֹכַחַת בֵּית וַועַד …
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Demons that Dog Your Marriage Sotah 48 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 16th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis notes that the crumbling of a home begins at the gate, and Rav Ashi was even able to see this force personified in a vision of a particular demon: אָמַר רַב אָשֵׁי שְׁמַע מִינַּהּ כִּי מַתְחֵיל חוּרְבָּא בְּסִיפָּא מַתְחֵיל שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר חֹרֶב בַּסַּף וְאִיבָּעֵית אֵימָא מֵהָכָא וּשְׁאִיָּה יֻכַּ …
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Love Bombing Sotah 47 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 15th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the way in which arrogant men at first charm women during courtship but eventually disappoint: מִשֶּׁרַבּוּ הַיְּהִירִים הִתְחִילוּ בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל לְהִנָּשֵׂא לִיהִירִים שֶׁאֵין דּוֹרֵינוּ רוֹאֶה אֶלָּא לַפָּנִים From the time when haughty people proliferated, the daughters of Israel began marrying ha …
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Human Potential Sotah 46 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 14th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph laments the loss of potential in the wake of a seemingly random, senseless murder. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בֶּן שָׁאוּל מִפְּנֵי מָה אָמְרָה תּוֹרָה הָבֵיא עֶגְלָה בְּנַחַל אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יָבֹא דָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא עָשָׂה פֵּירוֹת וְיֵעָרֵף בִּמְקוֹם שֶׁ …
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Build Your Boundaries Before Marriage Sotah 44 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 12th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the appropriate order of development to prepare for marriage: תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן אֲשֶׁר בָּנָה אֲשֶׁר נָטַע אֲשֶׁר אֵרַשׂ לִימְּדָה תּוֹרָה דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ שֶׁיִּבְנֶה אָדָם בַּיִת וְיִטַּע כֶּרֶם וְאַחַר כָּךְ יִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה וְאַף שְׁלֹמֹה אָמַר בְּח …
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Taking Your Measurements as a Leader Sotah 45 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 12th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud aleph discusses the ritual of the unsolved murder. The verses state in the beginning of Devarim 21: כִּי־יִמָּצֵ֣א חָלָ֗ל בָּאֲדָמָה֙ אֲשֶׁר֩ ה׳ אלקיך נֹתֵ֤ן לְךָ֙ לְרִשְׁתָּ֔הּ נֹפֵ֖ל בַּשָּׂדֶ֑ה לֹ֥א נוֹדַ֖ע מִ֥י הִכָּֽהוּ׃ If, in the land that your God gives you as an inheritance a fallen corpse sh …
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The Three Stages of Providence Sotah 43 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 11th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the process of announcements made by the Cohen prior to battle, where those persons who may lack courage due to sin or distractions back at home are exempted from the battlefield. The verses state (Devarim 20:3-9): וְאָמַ֤ר אֲלֵהֶם֙ שְׁמַ֣ע יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל אַתֶּ֨ם קְרֵבִ֥ים הַיּ֛וֹם לַמִּלְחָמָ֖ה עַל־אֹיְבֵיכֶ֑ם אַל־יֵ …
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No Room for Truth, No Room for God Sotah 42 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 10th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud aleph discusses fours classes of people whose behavior leads to an alienation from the Shekhina: אָמַר רַבִּי יִרְמְיָה בַּר אַבָּא: אַרְבַּע כִּיתּוֹת אֵין מְקַבְּלוֹת פְּנֵי שְׁכִינָה: כַּת לֵיצִים, וְכַת חֲנֵיפִים, וְכַת שַׁקָּרִים, וְכַת מְסַפְּרֵי לָשׁוֹן הָרָע. Rabbi Yirmeya bar A …
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Even the Fetuses Have Contempt Sotah 41 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 9th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the ethical and characterological problem of flattering sinners: וְאָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר: כׇּל אָדָם שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ חֲנוּפָּה — אֲפִילּוּ עוּבָּרִין שֶׁבִּמְעֵי אִמָּן מְקַלְּלִין אוֹתוֹ, And Rabbi Elazar says: Any person who has flattery in him, even fetuses in their mothers’ wombs curse him …
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The Day Our Oldest Brother Died
Author: Miriam Ribiat
May 8th, 2023
How would you do family therapy for three adult siblings who lost their oldest and most respected brother? As I moderated this podcast, I felt like I was in a room where so much healing was taking place. Each sibling had a chance to talk and share their experiences and their pain. Although I have done a lot of reading and I have spoken to many people, I am still not a professional. I am not pretending to be one. But on this day, I got a glimpse i …
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How the Vest Was Won Sotah 40 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 8th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph explains a dress code for the Cohanim when they go up to bless the congregation: דְּאֵין הַכֹּהֲנִים רַשָּׁאִין לַעֲלוֹת בְּסַנְדְּלֵיהֶן לַדּוּכָן. וְזֶהוּ אַחַת מִתֵּשַׁע תַּקָּנוֹת שֶׁהִתְקִין רַבָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי …שֶׁמָּא נִפְסְקָה לוֹ רְצוּעָה בְּ …
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You, Me, We: A Jewish Teenager's Guide to Identity and Belonging
Author: Michael Milgraum
May 7th, 2023
Introductory Note: This post, which is also planned to be released as a printed booklet, is designed to give teens and preteens guidance as they encounter intense and confusing messages from the world that surrounds them. These days, we hear, through every channel of communication, messages encouraging young people to examine and reexamine their feelings about gender, attractions and relationships. The message that is broadcast is that the possib …
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Episode 50: Like Fine Wine-Sex After 50
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
May 7th, 2023
What happens to the sex life of couples during middle age? Does the familiarity of long-term marriage breed sexual boredom ? Does aging reduce sexual interest? What happens when intimacy is no longer mediated by nidah laws? Listen here to Rabbi Scott Kahn interview Talli Rosenbaum as she presents surprising research findings and insights that will dispel myths about sex in midlife and beyond. …
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Parental Rights versus Parent Responsibilities: What Is a Healthy Custody Schedule for Infants and Toddlers?
Author: Michael Milgraum
May 7th, 2023
I recently appeared before a Bais Din to provide expert testimony as a psychologist in a child custody dispute. As is regrettably far too common today, the parties in dispute were a young couple who had divorced after a short marriage. They had a one-year-old son. The father was pressing to equalize the time that the child spent between the parents, including a demand for multiple overnights each week. The mother had a number of conc …
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Being Quiet is Different than Listening Sotah 39 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 7th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses two proof texts for the requirement to be silent when the Torah is being read. אָמַר רָבָא בַּר רַב הוּנָא כֵּיוָן שֶׁנִּפְתַּח סֵפֶר תּוֹרָה אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר אֲפִילּוּ בִּדְבַר הֲלָכָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וּבְפִתְחוֹ עָמְדוּ כׇּל הָעָם וְאֵין עֲמִידָה אֶלָּא שְׁתִיק …
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The Sinai Campaign Sotah 37 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 5th, 2023
The Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the level of details and explanation that was given along with the written Torah: רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל אוֹמֵר כְּלָלוֹת נֶאֶמְרוּ בְּסִינַי וּפְרָטוֹת בְּאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אוֹמֵר כְּלָלוֹת וּפְרָטוֹת נֶאֶמְרוּ בְּסִינַי וְנִשְׁנוּ בְּאֹהֶל מו …
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Torah Mindfulness Sotah 38 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 5th, 2023
The Gemara on Amud Beis tells us that the Cohanim actually are beneficiaries of the very same blessings they pronounce. אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי מִנַּיִן שֶׁהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מִתְאַוֶּה לְבִרְכַּת כֹּהֲנִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וְשָׂמוּ אֶת שְׁמִי עַל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וַאֲנִי אֲבָרְכֵם …
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Promises, Promises Sotah 36 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 4th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses what seems to be a prophecy about the return to Jerusalem in the time of Ezra, which was not fulfilled: וְאוֹמֵר תִּפֹּל עֲלֵיהֶם אֵימָתָה וָפַחַד עַד יַעֲבֹר עַמְּךָ ה׳ זוֹ בִּיאָה רִאשׁוֹנָה עַד יַעֲבֹר עַם זוּ קָנִיתָ זוֹ בִּיאָה שְׁנִיָּה And similarly, the verse says: “Terror and drea …
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Self Fulfilling Prophecy Sotah 35 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 3rd, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the intentions of the Spies: וַיֵּלְכוּ וַיָּבֹאוּ אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַי מַקֵּישׁ הֲלִיכָה לְבִיאָה מָה בִּיאָה בְּעֵצָה רָעָה אַף הֲלִיכָה בְּעֵצָה רָעָה And they went and they came” (Numbers 13:25–26). Rabbi Yoḥanan sa …
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God May Let You Do What You Want, Even If It Is Wrong Sotah 34 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 2nd, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses God’s ambiguous directive to Moshe about sending out the Spies: שְׁלַח לָךְ אֲנָשִׁים אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ שְׁלַח לְךָ מִדַּעְתֶּךָ וְכִי אָדָם זֶה בּוֹרֵר חֵלֶק רַע לְעַצְמוֹ וְהַיְינוּ דִּכְתִיב וַיִּיטַב בְּעֵינַי הַדָּבָר אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ ב …
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What Do Angels Know? Sotah 33 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 1st, 2023
Our Gemara on amud Aleph tells us that while prayers can technically be said in any language, there are metaphysical barriers when the prayer is not in the holy tongue, l’shon kodesh: תְּפִלָּה רַחֲמֵי הִיא כׇּל הֵיכִי דְּבָעֵי מְצַלֵּי It is stated in the mishna that the Amida prayer may be recited in any language. The reason for this is that since prayer is a request for divine mercy, one may …
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The miracle question
Author: Benny Gruen
April 30th, 2023
Hi everyone! It’s a miracle! Who doesn’t want to feel the happiness that can gush forth when something unexpected, miraculous even, occurs. Wining the lottery, surviving an ordeal, acing an exam, these are things that we can imagine. It doesn’t take much for us to imagine how we would feel if we suddenly had boatloads of money. Yet, many couples have never given thought about how their lives would look if all their …
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Location Is Everything Sotah 32 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
April 30th, 2023
Our gemara on Amud Beis notes that the sin offering (chattas) is sacrificed in the same location: וּגְנוּתוֹ בְּקוֹל רָם וְהָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַי מִפְּנֵי מָה תִּקְּנוּ תְּפִלָּה בְּלַחַשׁ כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא לְבַיֵּישׁ אֶת עוֹבְרֵי עֲבֵירָה שֶׁהֲר …
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Sing Baby, Sing Sotah 30 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
April 28th, 2023
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the levels of prophecy that occurred at the splitting of the Red Sea and how the Jews and Moshe responded via the prophetic singing of Az Yashir: תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן דָּרַשׁ רַבִּי יוֹסֵי הַגְּלִילִי בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁעָלוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַיָּם נָתְנוּ עֵינֵיהֶם לוֹמַר שִׁירָה וְכֵיצַד אָמ …
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