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Divine Couples Counseling (Naso)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
June 14th, 2024
Parshat Naso contains one of the most fascinating and enigmatic rituals in all of the torah, the story of the Sotah, suspected adulterer. At first glance this story seems harsh and archaic but deeper exploration reveals profound insights into relationships, trust, and insecurity. It provides us an opportunity to explore the psychological concepts of relational insecurity and jealousy. The Sotah ritual is initiated when a husband suspects h …
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The Dangers of an Insensitive Husband Bava Metzia 109 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 16th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph records a spirited dispute between Rav Beivai bar Abaye and Rav Pappi. In the middle of the argument, Rav Pappi seems to have insulted Rav Beivai bar Abaye, implying that he makes faulty (short-lived) arguments because he stems from the House of Eli, who were cursed to die early. The Shalah (Torah Sheb’al Peh, Kellal Peh Kadosh) tries to answer how such language could be appropriate. Regarding this particular …
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Children Versus Angels Bava Metzia 108 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 14th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses various rights and courtesies that are granted to the owner of an adjoining field, such as first choice in purchasing the property over other buyers if it is on the market. This law, known as Bar Mitzrah (owner of a bordering field) is conceptualized as an obligation to grant courtesy to the neighbors, because there is much more of a benefit for the neighbor to buy this field in particular. The other buyer …
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Niddah and Trauma Bava Metzia 107 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 14th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud aleph homiletically interprets the verse (Devarim 28:3), “Blessed are you when you enter.” as referring to a husband who returns home from a trip. The blessing will be that he will not find her in an uncertain halachic state, where she had a situation of questionable impurity, stopping them from a physical reunification. Rashi here comments, “And of course the blessing applies that he wouldn&rsquo …
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The Power of Precision in Prayer Bava Metzia 106 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 11th, 2024
Our Gemara on this Amud discusses a variety of misfortunes, and under what circumstances prayer is most or less effective. This occurs within the legal context of a tenant farmer and the landlord’s experience of an agricultural disaster, such as locust or scorching winds. Some of the factors include whether the tenant farmer kept to their agreement or not, and a post facto evaluation of what would have happened if he stuck with the agreemen …
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Oily Intervention for Off the Derech Olives Bava Metzia 105 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 11th, 2024
Our Gemara defines what the Mishna means by the term “Paritze Zeisim”, literally translated as, “brazen, disobedient olives. מַאי פָּרִיצֵי זֵיתִים? אָמַר רַב הוּנָא: רִשְׁעֵי זֵיתִים. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף: וּמַאי קְרָאָה – ״[וּבְנֵי] פָּרִיצֵי עַמְּךָ יִנַּשְּׂאוּ לְהַעֲמִיד חֲזוֹן וְ …
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Spiritual Codependency Bava Metzia 104 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 11th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the oblative obligations that a man’s wife incurs, such as the sacrificial animals brought after childbirth, and that they are the husband’s financial obligation. Even though such sacrifices are subject to a substitution of a bird instead of a lamb if the person is unable to afford the latger animal (see Vayikra 12:6-8), we evaluate this based on the husband’s assets, and not hers. The S …
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In Families there are No Secrets Bava Metzia 103 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 10th, 2024
Our Mishna on Amud Beis textually analyzes a Mishna which discusses the financial rights shared by a person who rents or uses a vineyard as a tenant farmer. The Mishna states: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁחוֹלְקִין בַּיַּיִן, כָּךְ חוֹלְקִין בַּזְּמוֹרוֹת וּבַקָּנִים. וּשְׁנֵיהֶם מְסַפְּקִין אֶת הַקָּנִים: Just as the halakha is that the owner of the f …
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Adaptability Amidst the Wilderness (Parshat Bamidbar)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
June 6th, 2024
Parshat Bamidbar, the first parsha of the new sefer, often read right before Shavout, sets the stage for Bnei Yisrael’s journey through the Midbar – the desert, wilderness. The Mechilta (Yitro: Bachodesh 1) shares the connection between the Parsha and upcoming celebration of Matan Torah being juxtaposed as the Torah was given publicly, openly, and in a place no one owns so that anyone could lay claim to it. Another reason for the Tora …
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Episode 56: Inviting Single Religious Women to the Sexuality Conversation
Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum
June 6th, 2024
The discourse on marital intimacy and sexuality in Judaism has become a normative topic of conversation. Rabbanit Shayna Goldberg, an educator and spiritual advisor at Migdal Oz, a Midrasha of higher learning for young women in Gush Etzion, believes that conversations about desire, sex and sexuality are relevant for unmarried women as well, and not just as part of premarital education after they have become engaged. In this episode, we discuss th …
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Original Sin Bava Metzia 102 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 9th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses how to evaluate a phrase that is part of a contractual agreement and mildly contradicts another part of the contract. For example if a contract states: “Twelve gold coins a year, one gold coin per month,” what is the annual rent during a Hebrew leap year, 12 or 13 gold coins? The lomdus revolves around if the second clause clarifies and overrides the import of the first clause, or does the firs …
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Eviction Notice Bava Metzia 101 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 7th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis relates a story of a woman who was duped and then how her vigilante justice was vindicated by the rabbis: הָהוּא גַּבְרָא דִּזְבַן אַרְבָּא דְחַמְרָא. לָא אַשְׁכַּח דּוּכְתָּא לְאוֹתוֹבֵיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ לְהַהִיא אִיתְּתָא: אִית לָךְ דּוּכְתָּא לְאוֹגוֹרַי? אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ …
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Adopted Beliefs Bava Metzia 100 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 7th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the legal entitlements to certain properties and materials that unwittingly became shared by two potential beneficiaries and investors: שָׁטַף נָהָר זֵיתָיו וּנְתָנָם לְתוֹךְ שְׂדֵה חֲבֵירוֹ, זֶה אוֹמֵר: ״זֵיתַי גִּדֵּלוּ״, וְזֶה אוֹמֵר: ״אַרְצִי גִּדֵּלָה״ – יַחְלוֹקוּ. In the even …
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God’s Silence in the Face of Evil Bava Metzia 99 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 6th, 2024
99 God’s Silence in the Face of Evil Our Gemara on Amud Beis describes a legal distinction in the liability of a squatter on land owned by the Sacred Treasury and privately owned land. We have a rule that a squatter does not incur financial liability after the fact, if the owner had not known prior to his squatting. The argument is, no harm done, you didn’t lose any money and we never agreed to an arrangement. It’s …
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The Psychology of the Oral Torah Bava Metzia 98 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 5th, 2024
Our Gemara on this daf discusses a fundamental dispute regarding the oath required of the watchman. In the verses which we soon shall see, a watchman is Biblically mandated to swear and affirm his claim of not having neglected his duties. This is known as the Watchman’s Oath. Another Biblically mandated oath that is derived from these verses is the Oath of Partial Admission, which is triggered when a defendant partially admits that true, he …
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I Am Not a Crook Bava Metzia 97 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 4th, 2024
I Am Not a Crook Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a novel application of Ba’alav Imo. Ba’alav Imo is a rule that exempts a watchman from paying for the damage if the owner of the item is present with the bailee or in his employ when he is safeguarding the item (Shemos 22:13). Rava’s students cleverly asserted that since he is their teacher and really work for them, if any of them were to borrow an item of his, it would …
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Halachic Gray Areas Bava Metzia 96 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 3rd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a situation where an object or animal is borrowed for an unconventional purpose that does not provide a tangible financial benefit. The question being, if there is no real monetary value received perhaps it is insufficient to incur the financial liabilities that are normally part of the borrowers contract: שְׁאָלָהּ לֵירָאוֹת בָּהּ מַהוּ מָמוֹנָא בָּעֵינַן וְ …
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Choice over Victimhood
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
May 31st, 2024
In Parshat Bechukotai we encounter the powerful description of the blessings and curses associated with following or violating Hashem’s mitzvot. Seemingly the torah provides a clear choice: follow in Hashem’s way leading to peace, happiness, and salvation or disobey leading to anguish, suffering, and exile. This parsha provides us an opportunity to explore the psychological concept of learned helplessness, which often created a victim …
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The Walking Dead Bava Metzia 95 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
June 2nd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph uses the following argument to explain the logical equivalence between the borrower’s liability for injury and liability for death. If the Torah teaches that the borrower is liable for the death of the animal, we do not need an additional verse to teach us that he is also liable for injury: What difference does it make to me if it is entirely killed, and what difference does it make to me if it is partially k …
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Is Satan Real? Bava Metzia 94 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 31st, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis refers to a scriptural stylistic principle: דִּבְּרָה תוֹרָה כִלְשׁוֹן בְּנֵי אָדָם The Torah uses the idiom and vernacular. Thus, repetitions, exaggerations and figures of speech that enhance the poetic experience and nature of the narrative are theologically legitimate, and not a sign of imperfection. God designed the Torah to be meaningful on many planes of p …
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Guns Don’t Kill - Sin Kills Bava Metzia 93 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 31st, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the extent of a shepherd’s responsibility if a lion is approaching the flock: What could he have done to prevent an attack by a lion? Rabba replies: He should have faced the lion with other shepherds and with sticks to chase it away. There is a natural principle that animal predators are fearful of humans. This is not an absolute, but unless provoked by territory concerns or extreme hunger, an …
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Support the Efforts Despite the Inconsistencies Bava Metzia 92 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 30th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph refers to an adage that the Nazir is expected to heed, but also is a general ethical direction to becautious in not getting too close to temptations: Go, go, we say to a nazirite, go round, go round; do not approach a vineyard. It is prohibited for a nazirite to eat any of the products of the vine. To keep a nazirite away from temptation, the Sages attempt to deter him from accepting work in a vineyard. One …
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You Live and You Learn Bava Metzia 91 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 29th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis further discusses the Biblically mandated allocation given to field laborers to eat from the produce they harvest while they work (Devarim 23:25-26). וְכוּלָּן לֹא אָמְרוּ אֶלָּא בִּשְׁעַת מְלָאכָה, אֲבָל מִשּׁוּם הָשֵׁב אֲבֵידָה לַבְּעָלִים אָמְרוּ: פּוֹעֲלִין אוֹכְלִין בַּהֲלִיכָתָן מֵאו …
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Swine Does Not Become Kosher From Good Intentions Bava Metzia 90 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 28th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an interesting moral and halachic dilemma regarding the Biblical directive to allow the animal to eat while it is working on the threshing floor: בְּעוֹ מִינֵּיהּ מֵרַב שֵׁשֶׁת: הָיְתָה אוֹכֶלֶת וּמַתְרֶזֶת, מַהוּ? מִשּׁוּם דִּמְעַלֵּי לַהּ הוּא, וְהָא לָא מְעַלֵּי לַהּ? אוֹ דִלְמָא ד …
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Mixed Blessings Bava Metzia 89 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 27th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the Biblically mandated allocation given to field laborers to eat from the produce they harvest while they work (Devarim 23:25-26). This job benefit only accrues in regard to produce that grows from the ground, excluding milking, and making butter and cheese, as these forms of produce do not come from the soil. Tosafos here raises a contradiction between this Gemara’s parameters for produce of …
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Bad Therapy or Misunderstood Therapy?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
May 24th, 2024
Bad Therapy or Misunderstood Therapy? Chaim Neuhoff, PhD (with input from many colleagues) While reading Ami magazine's interview with Abigail Shrier, author of the recent book, Bad Therapy, I found myself nodding in agreement with many points that were made. However, I was left disappointed that the non-professional opinions of a secular journalist were featured center-stage in a frum magazine on the topic of frum menta …
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Anxiety and Faith
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 23rd, 2024
Dear Therapist: My daughter is in seminary this year and it's the first time she's dormed a full year with other girls. She mentioned to me that one of her roommates seems very socially anxious & has a hard time making friends & being sociable. My daughter tries to include her but she often withdraws because of her social anxiety. She suggested to this girl that she speak to someone about her struggles & she keeps responding that she …
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Finding Greatness in Humility: Balanced Self-Perception (Parshat Behar)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
May 23rd, 2024
In Parshat Behar, we encounter the commandments to observe the Shemita and Yovel years, which emphasize the importance of balance and harmony in the land, society, and personal relationships. The parsha begins by sharing the location of the conversation between Hashem and Moshe Rabeynu, being Har Sinai. Using the psychological concept of having a balanced self-perception, we can delve into the lessons learned through the selection of this mountai …
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Diagnosis and Labelling
Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW
May 20th, 2024
Dear Therapist: Can you please share your thoughts on the phenomenon that I am noticing (not common baruch Hashem, but it happens) where people disparage others by "diagnosing" them with a mental illness. Thus, people who are rigid are called "OCD," those who are a bit different are "apspergy" and those who are jumpier are "ADD." More disturbing to me is that I have noticed the word "narcissist" being thrown around quiet casually. Unfortunat …
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Don’t Get Hit With a Big Bill at the End of Your Stay Bava Metzia 88 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 26th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud beis references the Biblical directive (Devarim 23:25) to allow a field laborer to eat from the food as he is harvesting, so long as he not abuse the privilege by hoarding: כִּ֤י תָבֹא֙ בְּכֶ֣רֶם רֵעֶ֔ךָ וְאָכַלְתָּ֧ עֲנָבִ֛ים כְּנַפְשְׁךָ֖ שָׂבְעֶ֑ךָ וְאֶֽל־כֶּלְיְךָ֖ לֹ֥א תִתֵּֽן׃ When you enter a fellow [Is …
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You Don’t Say Bava Metzia 87 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 24th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph made an observation of the behavioral styles of the righteous versus the wicked, especially in terms of expressing and then following through with their commitments toward others: “The righteous say little and do much, whereas the wicked say much and do not do even a little.” We can understand the wicked tend to over promise as they want to receive the admiration and appreciation in advance, without put …
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Twin Towers Bava Metzia 86 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 24th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph lists a series of notable sages, whose lifetimes and careers embodied a close of an era. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi and Rabbi Nasan are the end of the Mishna, i.e., the last of the tanna’im, the redactors of the Mishna. Rav Ashi and Ravina are the end of instruction, i.e., the end of the period of the amora’im, the redacting of the Talmud, which occurred after the period of the tanna’im. The …
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Holy Cow, that’s A lot of Suffering Bava Metzia 85 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 23rd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud aleph describes the intense years of gut pain that Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi experienced. The Gemara attributes his suffering to an incident where he was not merciful toward a calf. His suffering only abated, years later, when he spontaneously showed kindness toward weasels that were being harassed by his housekeeper: There was a certain calf that was being led to slaughter. The calf went and hung its head on the corner of Rab …
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Putting the Create Back into Procreate Bava Metzia 84 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 22nd, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the anatomy of various sages, in bizarre detail,: When Rabbi Yishmael, son of Rabbi Yosei, and Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, would meet each other, it was possible for a pair of oxen to enter and fit between them, under their bellies, without touching them, due to their excessive obesity. A certain Roman noblewoman [matronisa] once said to them: Your children are not really your own, as due to …
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When the Letter of the Law is to Go Above It Bava Metzia 83 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 21st, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an incident where Rabbah bar Chanan’s hired porters broke a barrel of wine. Though they were legally hired as watchmen and thus responsible for the mishap, his teacher (Rav) required him to not only release them of liability for the broken barrel, but to even pay them their wages! Rabbah bar Chanan asked Rav, “Is this really the required Halacha?” Rav answered, “Yes it is”, quoting …
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Where Charity Begins Bava Metzia 82 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 20th, 2024
Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a teaching of Rav Yitschak, regarding the status of a collateral object. Is the object considered still in the possession of the borrower, or once the collateral is taken, it is fully owned by the lender until such a time as the borrower repays the loan? One halachic outcome that depends on this distinction is if the object was lost due to unforeseeable circumstances. If the object is fully possessed by the lende …
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Struggling with Indecision
Author: Rabbi Shmuel Reich
May 16th, 2024
To the casual observer, it didn’t look like a significant exchange at all. “Would you like a receipt?” the cashier asked politely. “Yes, please,” Chaim responded. Chaim left the store, crumpled the receipt, and threw it in the public garbage can. That was it. But for Chaim, this was a great victory. Chaim had always been considered a people pleaser. He was r …
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Kiddush Hashem & Moral Identity Fusion (Parshat Emor)
Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.
May 16th, 2024
In Parshat Emor, we encounter various commandments regarding sanctification, sacrifices and observance of the holidays. However, one of the seminal tenants of Judaism and morality is also presented, the mitzvah of not desecrating the name of Hashem. Through the lens of the psychological concept of moral identity fusion, we are provided a meaningful opportunity to explore this mitzvah, better known as Kiddush Hashem. Moral identify fusion i …
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We Are Not Alone Bava Metzia 81 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 19th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses what happens when two people agree to watch each other’s possessions. Since they are both doing it in exchange, they are considered to be paid watchmen and liable for theft that could have been prevented by more vigilance. However, the Gemara raises an objection: But why is this the halacha? It is a case of safeguarding with the owners simultaneous involvement! There is a principle that …
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Contracting with God Bava Metzia 80 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
May 17th, 2024
Our Gemara on amud beis discusses what are the liabilities of a rented object. A paid watchman is liable for ordinary theft that could have been prevented through vigilance, while an unpaid watchman is exempt, so long as he was not negligent. The basic idea is that if you are paid, you are expected to devote more energy and focus on safeguarding the object. However, a renter can be seen either way: Is he like a paid watch …
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