Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 13th, 2022

  Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes Rabbi Akiva who observed that the prophet Yonah lost his prophecy as a result of his disobedience. He refused to deliver God’s message to the people of Nineveh. Our understanding of Yonah’s behavior is that he was afraid that the people of Nineveh would do Teshuva and this would reflect poorly on the Jewish people. The Midrash sees this as impudent in that he advocated for the honor of the &ldquo …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

June 9th, 2022

Question: Our 20-year-old son recently returned home from a year learning in Israel. He is boy who struggled a lot in his teens both academically and religiously. Baruch Hashem, he seems to have had an excellent year of growth, he likes his Rabbiem and has learned a lot about being a mentsch , though he still has a way to go. He is very proud of his year and some new concepts and ideas he has learned. The yeshiva has an emphasis on emotional heal …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 12th, 2022

The Gemara on 96b and 97a deals with Rabbi Yochanan’s strong concern that his Torah be quoted and attributed to him.  The Gemara explains this as stemming from the following idea and verse: Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: With regard to any Torah scholar in whose name a matter of halakha is said in this world, his lips mouth the words in the grave, as though he is talking. Rabbi Yitzḥak ben Ze’eira …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 10th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis states that a halachic male minor who is nine years and one day old can perform the mitzvah of Yibum.  However, the status of this marriage is not complete until he consummates as a bar mitzvah, and if he dies before doing so, and now his wife falls to yibum to another brother, she must have chalitza and not yibum.  There is some discussion amongst the Rishonim about whether the marriage is valid according to Tor …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 10th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud aleph refers to Adultery as an Issur Kal, a relatively light prohibition, which Rashi (“makom”) explains is because the prohibition is not permanent, i.e. it lifts after divorce or death.  Presumably, the Gemara does not equate the severity of the transgression and the punishment (death), with the technical aspects of the mitzvah that make it considered less severe than other forms of forbidden relations that r …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 9th, 2022

Rashi on amud beis (“v’es achas”) discusses a hermeneutical principle which is occasionally used in Shas.  A word from a different language, often Greek and often the numeral one, is read into the text. For example, the Hebrew word “Hen”, is reinterpreted in the verse to mean “one”.  Some good examples of this are Shabbos (31b) Moed Kattan (28a) and Sanhedrin (76b). Although I do not have a well …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 8th, 2022

On amud beis we find Rav Yannai troubled by a dream that he had, of a splintered reed. He the dream to mean that he made a halakhic mistake, by relying on a weak proof. Rav Chiyyah comforted him, by reading the dream as the opposite, implying a broken reed is humble and therefore merits to see the truth: How did the Gemara treat dreams?  Are they prophetic, or to be ignored as the result of random images and impulses firing during the night? …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 7th, 2022

Our Gemara on amud beis quotes an interesting idiom: Rabbi Yannai said to Rabbi Yoḥanan: Had I not lifted the earthenware shard for you, would you have discovered the pearl [marganita] beneath it? Rabbi Yannai was referring to the fact that his teaching inspired Rabbi Yochanan to notice a Mishna that was “hiding in plain sight” which really made the same point as his teaching. Tosafos (Bava Metzia 17b, “Iy Lav”) explains …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 6th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a Mishna in Gittin (8:5) If he wrote the date on the bill of divorce using a calendrical system that counts years in the name of a kingdom that is not legitimate…in all these case, the bill of divorce is not valid.  According to Rashi on our daf, the definition of “a kingdom that is not legitimate” is the Roman government. Rashi references a Gemara in Avoda Zara (10a) that denigrates the legi …
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Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,

June 2nd, 2022

Dear Readers   Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed “Finding the Balance”.  For some of us, balance is as easy as riding a bike; for others, balance can be elusive. This is particularly the case for those of us whose lives encompass extremes. We may be up, we may be down. We may love some politicians and commentators; we may hate others.   Some of us might even experience our religious lives in ext …
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Author: by Yitzchok Kahn LMSW, CASAC-T

June 2nd, 2022

When it comes to the topic of balance, therapists often talk about the concept of the dialectic. Popularized by Marsha Linehan, originator of Dialectic Behavioral Therapy or DBT, the dialectic is the ability to hold opposite ideas at one time. In DBT therapy, a person can be doing their best and can have the ability to do better. A person can be angry at someone and still love them. Life can be confusing and people can experience ambivalence. We …
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Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,

June 2nd, 2022

The fast-approaching holiday of Shavuos marks, among other things, the moment we experienced the Aseres Hadibros (Ten Commandments). The Aseres Hadibros set in motion a process that led to Moshe Rabeinu receiving two sets of Luchos (tablets), each of which was ultimately  housed in the Aron (ark). If we pay close attention to the Aron, the Luchos, and the Aseres Hadibros, we can learn a valuable lesson about balance and, in particular, the t …
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Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA

June 2nd, 2022

Gene D Cohen, a psychologist and author of The Mature Mind; The Positive Power of the Aging Brain, says it best, “Psychology has severely underestimated the positive potential of the second half of life.” Until recently, the fields of psychology, medicine, social work and business have been dominated by Erikson’s theory that older adults are challenged not by growth but by the challenge of integrity versus despair.  That &l …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL

June 2nd, 2022

The recent Daf Yomi (Gemara Yevamos 14a) tells us that prior to the decision to universally follow the School of Hillel, there was a period of time where the School of Shammai followed their rulings independently. The Gemara wonders how the School of Shammai rationalized this when the general principle is that the halacha (law) is decided in accordance with the numerical majority. Since the School of Hillel was the majority, even the School of Sh …
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Author: By Moshe Norman

June 2nd, 2022

If you are a former therapy client or patient you may likely have built a deep, intimate relationship with your therapist.  Clients tell us their innermost challenges, dreams and aspirations.  Then, they move on.  Have you ever wondered why your therapist hasn't called to see how you have been? Often, therapists would love to know more about the developmental trajectory of former clients. We are, of course, human. We care about our …
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Author: By Dr. Alan M. Singer

June 2nd, 2022

Ninety percent of the therapists in the United States are women. The reason men shy away from becoming therapists is not the central issue of this essay. The dearth of male therapists however, plays a significant role in male resistance to couples therapy, and that is the topic of this essay.   Traditional couple’s therapy is biased towards women, as they tend to be the caretakers of relationships. Conversation, thoughts, feelings, and …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 3rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the power of the prophet to temporarily supersede a Torah law. That is, even though no prophet after Moshe can change the Torah on a permanent basis, for a particular need of the moment and through prophetic sanction, a law can be suspended or enacted. A lesser known idea related to this is a principle from the Sefer Haikkarim (III:18).  This idea only applies to Torah laws from Moshe, however the portion of …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 3rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the principle behind the financial obligation of the Kesubah, שלא תהא קלא בעיניו להוציאה that divorcing a wife should not be a light matter. Since upon divorce, the husband will have to pay out a large sum, he naturally will think twice about divorce. The Rashbah in Bava Kama (89a) elaborates on this and explains that should a woman feel that the marriage can be dismissed lightly, her gener …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 3rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis brings the verse that directs us to treat cohanim with extra honor, and in fact directs the Beis Din to enforce the priestly marriage restrictions. The Mei HaShiloach Parashas Emor discusses the nature of the distinction of the Cohanim, and even the nature of the distinction of Jews in general: His first point is based on the Gemara’s interpretation (Chulin 57a) of a verse in Zecharia (10:4). Though Cohanim are obvio …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 2nd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a verse in Vayikra 4:28 which uses an ambiguous phrase regarding a sin-offering, “Or, if his sin be known to him.”  The phrase seems to emphasize knowing about the sin, but it is redundant, as how would he bring a sacrifice if he did not know about his sin?  From there the Gemara derives a number of rules relating to what kind of information obligates a sacrifice, and what does not.  If he …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 1st, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us that Levites were punished in the times of Ezra because they did not join the group returning back to Israel, and instead stayed in Babylonia, as it stated in Ezra (8:15), “and I viewed the people, and the priests, and found there none of the sons of Levi.” The punishment was that they no longer would be eligible to receive the Maaser Rishon tithes. Tosafos here asks, the Gemara Kiddushin (69a) states …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 31st, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes the verse in Vayikra (21:1) “Speak to the Cohanim, the sons of Aharon, and say to them, do not become defiled for a dead person amongst your people.” Because of the redundancy, “Cohanim, sons of Aharon”, the Gemara deduces that only the sons have this obligation, and not the daughters.  Thus, female cohanim are not prohibited from becoming exposed to impurities of death, and in practica …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 30th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the prohibition of the Egyptian convert. A regular Jewish person cannot marry into that family fit the first two generations. He may only marry into the third generation born after the conversion, as stated explicitly in Devarim 23:9. We might wonder what is the significance of three generations? The Chizkuni (Op. Cit.) explains that it takes three generations to change the family culture. As we find the Torah de …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 26th, 2022

Dear Therapist: ​Our 20-year-old son recently returned home from a year learning in Israel. He is boy who struggled a lot in his teens both academically and religiously. Baruch Hashem, he seems to have had an excellent year of growth, he likes his rabbeim and has learned a lot about being a mentsch, though he still has a way to go. He is very proud of his year and some new concepts and ideas he has learned. The yeshiva has an emphasis on emotio …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 26th, 2022

Dear Therapist: ​My daughter has always been an all-around healthy 17-year-old . She does tend to have anxiety but it’s always been kept in check. Lately though she’s become a shell of herself. She’s had trouble eating and sleeping and is not herself. We’ve tried very hard to get to the root cause of her distress. Finally she confided that she’s been having intrusive thoughts of kefira type themes. She’s horr …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

May 26th, 2022

Last month, Orthodox Jewish journalist Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt published an article in The Atlantic highlighting the popularity of Laura Doyle’s 2001 New York Times bestseller, ‘The Surrendered Wife,’ among Orthodox Jewish women. Doyle’s book provides a practical guide to marital bliss and harmony, suggesting that women stop being critical and demanding of their husbands, respect and trust them, regularly engage in self …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 29th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis states the famous halakhic principle that one cannot make another person’s possession forbidden. For example, if I declare an object of my friend’s to be my god and object of worship and bow to it, it does not become a forbidden object that must be destroyed, unlike if the owner had done that. A person has no authority over another person’s possessions. Tosafos (“Ein”) raises a question about …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 27th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph uses a strange phrase, הא דרב אשי בדותא היא, which translates approximately as, “We must conclude that this teaching of Rav Ashi was mistaken.” The word בדותא translates into English with less contempt than the connotation In Hebrew. It is more than mistaken. It implies something made up without any basis (see Ran Nedarim 3a, “elah”, and Melachim 1:12:33.) It is difficult to un …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 27th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the concept that items which are numbered are considered more significant, which can affect the laws of nullification. That is, if ordinarily we might say a non kosher item will be nullified if mixed into a majority, if this non kosher item has a significance in that it is counted and sold by numbers instead of volume, it will not be nullified. The idea that something becomes important when it is counted is disc …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 26th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis records an incident of a woman whose husband was away for twelve months delivered a baby.  Obviously, there ought to be a concern that this child was a mamzer, yet the Gemara rules that it is conceivable that her pregnancy lasted for twelve months, and so the child is kosher. What I find fascinating about Gemaras such as these is that often we must say Nishtanu HaTibiyyim, the medical and physiological realities have …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 25th, 2022

The Gemara on Amud Aleph explains why Dovid Hamelech could not offer a reparation to the descendants of Shaul by making a proper but belated eulogy. “It is not the custom to make a eulogy after twelve months.” Why is it not the custom to do this? Rashi references a Gemara in Moed Kattan (21b) which is not referring only to eulogy, but in general we do not say Hamakom Yenachem after twelve months, because the person is already past the …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 24th, 2022

Since abortion is entering into the national debate once again, it is good to see what the Jewish tradition has to say about a fetus’s rights and personhood. One of the questions that arise in considering the legality and morality of the unborn child is, when does this “bunch of cells” turn into a human with its own identity and rights? After all, we all are just a “bunch of cells”, just like the tomato plant in my b …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 23rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis records an epic dispute that took place regarding King David’s lineage. The dispute revolved around whether the prohibition against marrying a Moabite was limited to males or also included females. King David descended from Ruth, a female Moabite convert. One rationale why the females were not prohibited is the verse states: לֹֽא־יָבֹ֧א עַמּוֹנִ֛י וּמוֹאָבִ֖י בִּקְהַ֣ל ה גּ …
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Author: Elisheva Liss, LMFT

May 19th, 2022

*This originally appeared in the Five Towns Jewish Times State of Mind column*  Dear Elisheva,   I would imagine my problem is not unique, but I just find myself getting stuck and anxious from it. I’m 23 years old, in Yeshiva most of the day, and finishing up my Bachelors. I’ve been dating someone for a little over three weeks now. She is 21, also in college, and working part time. She’s really great- smart, interestin …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 22nd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses Shaul Hemelech’s introduction to David: דְּאָמַר קְרָא: ״וְכִרְאוֹת שָׁאוּל אֶת דָּוִד יוֹצֵא לִקְרַאת הַפְּלִשְׁתִּי אָמַר אֶל אַבְנֵר שַׂר הַצָּבָא בֶּן מִי זֶה הַנַּעַר אַבְנֵר וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְנֵר חֵי נַפְשְׁךָ הַמֶּלֶךְ אִם יָדָעְתִּי״. …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 20th, 2022

Our Gemara discusses various forms of infertility such as damage to testicles and other reproductive organs.  Of course, one of the greatest forms of existential distress is the inability to have children. It is easy to fall into despair.  A personage no less noble than the matriarch, Rachel, declared, “Give me children, for if not, I am dead.” (Bereishis 30:1) Yet we must also acknowledge that there are other ways for human …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 19th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the concept of viduy maaser, the “confessional” declaration that all of the tithed produce was not hoarded nor was it misused.   What is the term viduy? The verses in the Torah don’t use it to describe this declaration, and it comes from Chazal. Pashtus, it is just a declaration not really a confession.  The simple reading of the verses sound, if anything, as a declaration that on …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 20th, 2022

Our Gemara continues its discussion of the various components of the declaration regarding maaser.  The verses are an intriguing group in that they describe an odd set of ways to use and misuse maaser (Devarim 26:13-15) בִּעַ֧רְתִּי הַקֹּ֣דֶשׁ מִן־הַבַּ֗יִת וְגַ֨ם נְתַתִּ֤יו לַלֵּוִי֙ וְלַגֵּר֙ לַיָּת֣וֹם וְלָאַלְמָנָ֔ה כְּכׇל־מִצְוָתְ …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 18th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us that the reason why the Jews did not merit the healing north wind during the wilderness was that they were “censured”. What sin caused that state? Rashi says it was due to the sin of the Golden Calf.  However Tosafos argues and says that they Jews were forgiven for that sin, as it states “I forgive them”, and the Mishkan was constructed and Hashem had the Shekhina dwell there. Tosafos …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

May 17th, 2022

  In our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us that according to one opinion the Jews of the wilderness could not undergo circumcision due to the travails of traveling, which would endanger their lives post operatively. Ritva asks, why was Moshe punished for not circumcising Eliezer, since he was traveling and could not endanger Eliezer anyhow? Ritva answers that Moshe could have paused on his journey and waited several days until Eliezer recovered, …
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